Gnomes.
There are times in a young persons life when they look back
reflect,
and ask themselves,
"How the fuck did I get almost $6000 on my credit card?"
I imagine that in several years I will have a similar experience and ask myself,
"How the fuck did I end up owing $25000 in art school?"
And this $6000 will seem like beans.
Small, invisible beans which cost $1000 each.
Credit.
Let's talk about credit cards!
First off: they are the devil.
"Now Mel,"
You are probably saying,
if you had any idea that my name was Mel,
"You probably did something very irresponsible financially that has led you to this looooowly state."
Well, here you would be wrong, much as dogs in sweaters or Baby Bratz dolls are wrong. I want to make it completely clear that it was NOT primarily financial irresponsibility that led me to this loooowly state. This credit card was utilized only for events which I categorized as emergencies, such as car wrecks. There has got to be at least half of this credit card dedicated to the memory of various car repairs.
"Now Mel,"
You are probably saying,
"You probably drive a shitty car."
Wrong again, friends, just as the republican selection for vice president is categorically wrong.
I have an excellent, dependable car, whose only fault is that it appears, in Gangst-o-vision, to have an enormous sign on it which reads "steal me". This car is only in the shop when I, or someone, drive it directly into another, larger, more metal-ly object.
Therefore, my credit card debt is owed largely to not my inability to manage money but my inability to manage driving a vehicle.
The rest of the debt developed from the sort of emergencies that arise when I have run out of Real Money and have to go to Imaginary Money, almost always suddenly and by surprise. Like when I drove out to California, I checked my debit account at a gas station in Mississippi at about five in the morning. Gnomes had stolen all but $4.06 of my money, and I wondered what about that $4.06 was not good enough for them that they did not take that too.
All in all, I guess it could be worse. I could owe $25000 for school.
Wait.
reflect,
and ask themselves,
"How the fuck did I get almost $6000 on my credit card?"
I imagine that in several years I will have a similar experience and ask myself,
"How the fuck did I end up owing $25000 in art school?"
And this $6000 will seem like beans.
Small, invisible beans which cost $1000 each.
Credit.
Let's talk about credit cards!
First off: they are the devil.
"Now Mel,"
You are probably saying,
if you had any idea that my name was Mel,
"You probably did something very irresponsible financially that has led you to this looooowly state."
Well, here you would be wrong, much as dogs in sweaters or Baby Bratz dolls are wrong. I want to make it completely clear that it was NOT primarily financial irresponsibility that led me to this loooowly state. This credit card was utilized only for events which I categorized as emergencies, such as car wrecks. There has got to be at least half of this credit card dedicated to the memory of various car repairs.
"Now Mel,"
You are probably saying,
"You probably drive a shitty car."
Wrong again, friends, just as the republican selection for vice president is categorically wrong.
I have an excellent, dependable car, whose only fault is that it appears, in Gangst-o-vision, to have an enormous sign on it which reads "steal me". This car is only in the shop when I, or someone, drive it directly into another, larger, more metal-ly object.
Therefore, my credit card debt is owed largely to not my inability to manage money but my inability to manage driving a vehicle.
The rest of the debt developed from the sort of emergencies that arise when I have run out of Real Money and have to go to Imaginary Money, almost always suddenly and by surprise. Like when I drove out to California, I checked my debit account at a gas station in Mississippi at about five in the morning. Gnomes had stolen all but $4.06 of my money, and I wondered what about that $4.06 was not good enough for them that they did not take that too.
All in all, I guess it could be worse. I could owe $25000 for school.
Wait.