Nazi Soup: Soup, Made of Nazis. Also, wet backpacking.
I have discovered a new level of existence
the mundanely awesome.
Previously, I had been convinced that life only existed in a few extremes, including but not limited to the Fucking Amazing At-Least-Kind-of-Dangerous Life-Changing Bruhaha, the Mind-numbing Geargrinding Churn of Endless Mundane Days Oh God Why Have You Forsaken Me, the Forget About Everything That Bothers You And Flee To The Beach/Your Friend's House/Another Country And Don't Do Shit Fro Several Days and the Enormous Mind-Blasting Catastrophe, Oh God, Why Have You Forsaken Me?
The mundanely awesome, which I had not ever clearly identified as its own separate entity, is when you do absolutely nothing spectacular but are, indeed, having a pretty awesome time anyway, at least until you do something STUPID like question your purpose in life. This ALWAYS upsets a good bout of the mundanely awesome, as it causes you to be dissatisfied and worried with the current direction of your life, almost no matter WHAT you are doing. You could be running an orphanage that simultaneously feeds needy children and also hunts down and burns Nazis alive, and you would still suddenly stop, your ladle posed noncommitally, halfway lodged in a great vat of Nazi Soup, dribbling the cleverly unified product of your orphanage's two major philosophic goals, and you would say to yourself,
Holy shit.
What am I doing??
And go on a two-year backpack trip of the WHOLE WORLD. Even the wet parts.
And children would die.
So.
For the past few days I have worked the sushi joint, written on a story that descended to me on a cloud, gone to the gym, eaten ice cream, and watched TV with my roomate. Those of you who know me know that i should be PISSED by now, because I can't handle stability, responsibility or happiness in any significant quantities whatsoever.
So.
I'm behaving pretty well and feeling pretty good. Which will be solidly upset by school starting again on Monday (i am so fucking terrified of school, sweet jeezy,), which usually leads to ENORMOUS feelings of guilt for spending so much on Art School when really, to be honest, I'm just doing it cause I thought it would be FUN. They're all on about like, serious job committments and stuff here. You'd think art school was like the one place you could go to NOT be constantly harrassed about "WTF are you going to do with your life," but no, they seem to take it quite seriously. Which, I guess, is good. Except that after school I mostly just want to backpack to another country, sleep with strangers, repent, and go open that orphanage in Dubai.
the mundanely awesome.
Previously, I had been convinced that life only existed in a few extremes, including but not limited to the Fucking Amazing At-Least-Kind-of-Dangerous Life-Changing Bruhaha, the Mind-numbing Geargrinding Churn of Endless Mundane Days Oh God Why Have You Forsaken Me, the Forget About Everything That Bothers You And Flee To The Beach/Your Friend's House/Another Country And Don't Do Shit Fro Several Days and the Enormous Mind-Blasting Catastrophe, Oh God, Why Have You Forsaken Me?
The mundanely awesome, which I had not ever clearly identified as its own separate entity, is when you do absolutely nothing spectacular but are, indeed, having a pretty awesome time anyway, at least until you do something STUPID like question your purpose in life. This ALWAYS upsets a good bout of the mundanely awesome, as it causes you to be dissatisfied and worried with the current direction of your life, almost no matter WHAT you are doing. You could be running an orphanage that simultaneously feeds needy children and also hunts down and burns Nazis alive, and you would still suddenly stop, your ladle posed noncommitally, halfway lodged in a great vat of Nazi Soup, dribbling the cleverly unified product of your orphanage's two major philosophic goals, and you would say to yourself,
Holy shit.
What am I doing??
And go on a two-year backpack trip of the WHOLE WORLD. Even the wet parts.
And children would die.
So.
For the past few days I have worked the sushi joint, written on a story that descended to me on a cloud, gone to the gym, eaten ice cream, and watched TV with my roomate. Those of you who know me know that i should be PISSED by now, because I can't handle stability, responsibility or happiness in any significant quantities whatsoever.
So.
I'm behaving pretty well and feeling pretty good. Which will be solidly upset by school starting again on Monday (i am so fucking terrified of school, sweet jeezy,), which usually leads to ENORMOUS feelings of guilt for spending so much on Art School when really, to be honest, I'm just doing it cause I thought it would be FUN. They're all on about like, serious job committments and stuff here. You'd think art school was like the one place you could go to NOT be constantly harrassed about "WTF are you going to do with your life," but no, they seem to take it quite seriously. Which, I guess, is good. Except that after school I mostly just want to backpack to another country, sleep with strangers, repent, and go open that orphanage in Dubai.