Falling In
I fear, my friends, that I may be Falling In Imaginary Love.
Imaginary love: (def) n 1. To possess a love which is artificial, imaginary, or forced, oft born of hardship or suffering, such that even the lover believes they are in love; 2. To be in love with a being which is in and of itself imaginary, thus bringing the artifice of love into question (SEE: otakudom); 3. To create for an unknown quantity charictaristics and traits which are to be loved without being sure of their veracity, a love which could be true or false but which ultimately lays on the shoulders of a creature designed by the imagination and longing of the lover (SEE: stalking, psychosis, Mel with nothing better to do).
We are, of course, dealing with definition number three at this time, which is, in practice, that Mel has met somebody... and ONLY met somebody, and it has been two weeks since she has seen him again, and since he didn't do anything outright bad or strange, such as, I don't know, shit in the floor, he has remained a Distinct Possibility, but since I don't actually KNOW the guy I've had to more or less create his being within the rather broad guidelines given me by our one encounter and his friend, my roomate, who is both jovial and black. My roomate. Imaginary guy is kind of skinny and white. You will find this to be a pattern with me.
While we're on topic, lets take a look at Mel's Romantic Patterns:
Mel tends to date....
1. Skinny, lanky white guys
2. Enourmous-lipped Mexicans
3. People with alcohol addictions
4. People who think deeply, speak well and do nothing
5. People with much less of a formal education than her
6. People with long, long fingers
7. Froofy haired surfers or emo kids (basically you just pick blonde or black froof hair)
8. People who hate, or don't care about, her God
9. People who openly admit that they have no generalized plans for life beyond the age of 23
10. People who are not yet 23
11. People who think they may die before they are 23
Now obviously, not all fall into all these categories. It IS somewhat difficult to be a tall, lanky, thick-lipped Mexican White kid, though I'm sure someone somewhere is dealing with this exact set of tragic elements right now. And not everyone I have dated sucks, as this list would seem to imply. Some of them do; I just love people who suck.
Now, traits that Mel has never, or at least infrequently, known in a partner:
1. Someone with a completed bachelor's degree
2. Someone older than her
3. Someone with something that could be termed a "career"
4. someone who did not still live with at least one parent most of the time at the time of dating
5. Someone with their own car
6. Someone who has their own well-defined sense of faith before Mel got to them and made them soggy Baptists.
As I have mentioned before, I picks em good. Now, if you're a lucky sot who's BEEN an Official Mel Partner before and you possessed one of the non-possessed qualities listed above, I know that, remember I indicated that MOST Official Mel Partners were not these things. If you feel the need to get vindicated you can leave a comment, but I assure you, I know who you are. Were. Are. Also, if you think there should be like, a gold seal for Official Mel Partners, kind of like the Nintendo Seal of Quality, get in touch with me and we'll work one up. Jake probably oughtta have one too. "This woman has been inspected by Hollis, Intl, Woman Inspection Company." Jake knows this is funny.
So anyway, New Guy, who DJ is NOT going to tell I am writing about in a livejournal, or I will lynch him, (seriously, I don't even know how to lynch, is that even something I can do by myself, or do I need a whole bunch of rednecks for that? I guess I'll just have to punch him,) is....
1. A skinny white guy
2. My age
3. Still in the middle of a bachelor's degree
4. Appears to like God
5. Seems to have a car
6. Does still live with his family
7. Has blue eyes like whut, but I think we all know I really do prefer brown, although some blue eyed people are known to be able to cast spells with them;
8. likes to write fantasy stories
9. continues to talk to me after two weeks, which is a feat in and of itself.
Its sort of a mix of elements from the two lists, but to be honest, he had my attention the moment he said those three, beautiful little words I've been waiting to hear:
"I'm twenty-three."
(Twenty-three is one word, but remember, "I'm" is a contraction. Breakin' it down).
Imaginary love: (def) n 1. To possess a love which is artificial, imaginary, or forced, oft born of hardship or suffering, such that even the lover believes they are in love; 2. To be in love with a being which is in and of itself imaginary, thus bringing the artifice of love into question (SEE: otakudom); 3. To create for an unknown quantity charictaristics and traits which are to be loved without being sure of their veracity, a love which could be true or false but which ultimately lays on the shoulders of a creature designed by the imagination and longing of the lover (SEE: stalking, psychosis, Mel with nothing better to do).
We are, of course, dealing with definition number three at this time, which is, in practice, that Mel has met somebody... and ONLY met somebody, and it has been two weeks since she has seen him again, and since he didn't do anything outright bad or strange, such as, I don't know, shit in the floor, he has remained a Distinct Possibility, but since I don't actually KNOW the guy I've had to more or less create his being within the rather broad guidelines given me by our one encounter and his friend, my roomate, who is both jovial and black. My roomate. Imaginary guy is kind of skinny and white. You will find this to be a pattern with me.
While we're on topic, lets take a look at Mel's Romantic Patterns:
Mel tends to date....
1. Skinny, lanky white guys
2. Enourmous-lipped Mexicans
3. People with alcohol addictions
4. People who think deeply, speak well and do nothing
5. People with much less of a formal education than her
6. People with long, long fingers
7. Froofy haired surfers or emo kids (basically you just pick blonde or black froof hair)
8. People who hate, or don't care about, her God
9. People who openly admit that they have no generalized plans for life beyond the age of 23
10. People who are not yet 23
11. People who think they may die before they are 23
Now obviously, not all fall into all these categories. It IS somewhat difficult to be a tall, lanky, thick-lipped Mexican White kid, though I'm sure someone somewhere is dealing with this exact set of tragic elements right now. And not everyone I have dated sucks, as this list would seem to imply. Some of them do; I just love people who suck.
Now, traits that Mel has never, or at least infrequently, known in a partner:
1. Someone with a completed bachelor's degree
2. Someone older than her
3. Someone with something that could be termed a "career"
4. someone who did not still live with at least one parent most of the time at the time of dating
5. Someone with their own car
6. Someone who has their own well-defined sense of faith before Mel got to them and made them soggy Baptists.
As I have mentioned before, I picks em good. Now, if you're a lucky sot who's BEEN an Official Mel Partner before and you possessed one of the non-possessed qualities listed above, I know that, remember I indicated that MOST Official Mel Partners were not these things. If you feel the need to get vindicated you can leave a comment, but I assure you, I know who you are. Were. Are. Also, if you think there should be like, a gold seal for Official Mel Partners, kind of like the Nintendo Seal of Quality, get in touch with me and we'll work one up. Jake probably oughtta have one too. "This woman has been inspected by Hollis, Intl, Woman Inspection Company." Jake knows this is funny.
So anyway, New Guy, who DJ is NOT going to tell I am writing about in a livejournal, or I will lynch him, (seriously, I don't even know how to lynch, is that even something I can do by myself, or do I need a whole bunch of rednecks for that? I guess I'll just have to punch him,) is....
1. A skinny white guy
2. My age
3. Still in the middle of a bachelor's degree
4. Appears to like God
5. Seems to have a car
6. Does still live with his family
7. Has blue eyes like whut, but I think we all know I really do prefer brown, although some blue eyed people are known to be able to cast spells with them;
8. likes to write fantasy stories
9. continues to talk to me after two weeks, which is a feat in and of itself.
Its sort of a mix of elements from the two lists, but to be honest, he had my attention the moment he said those three, beautiful little words I've been waiting to hear:
"I'm twenty-three."
(Twenty-three is one word, but remember, "I'm" is a contraction. Breakin' it down).