Kind of nice
Its been
one week (hah thats a song)
I've started working out again and eating better. This apartment is beautiful and we have an amazing deal on it. All my school stuff is settled, and I'm typing on a spanky-pants new MacBook, the first new computer I've had in eight years. (the last one did that thing where you typed... and waited... and sometime later, maybe words would show up, as if perhaps they had sat at home for a bit, vacillating over whether or not to attend this particular party, rearranging their outfit self-conciously in the mirror for hours.) And in the week I've been here, I've met and hung out with people my actual own age and discovered that it wasn't JUST I who was crazy (I am crazy,) but I've been just so out of place... I heart my friends who happen to still have "teen" tacked on the end of their age, but for the most part you can't identifty with the place someone is at in their life if you've never been there. Thats why I always felt so weird... I had graduated from high school, college, moved across the country, almost married twice, taught high school, managed at a business, moved back across the country AGAIN, and I was trying to seriously make deep emotional contact with high school seniors. It's just not the same place. Its just not the same rolodex of concerns and celebrations.
I can't describe what a releif it is, after what feels like a second puberty minus that stage where you awkwardly have to discover deodorant, that I'm not some kind of freak... I was just with a bunch of people, MOST (but not all) of whom I didn't really share any experience. I feel confident and healthier, mentally, emotionally physically and spiritually. It's a good affirmation to feel after a big move... that it was the right decision.
I've even met a guy (ha ha) my own age that seems like he might be halfway somewhat possibly maybe (?) interested in me, and he likes comic books and Jesus. Right on! Well, its more than ive achieved in three years in Texas. Trying not to be too excited, since I just met him. That's so totally girlie. I'm such a girl.
Its kind of nice, though, I think I'm sick of being a sorry fratboy.
one week (hah thats a song)
I've started working out again and eating better. This apartment is beautiful and we have an amazing deal on it. All my school stuff is settled, and I'm typing on a spanky-pants new MacBook, the first new computer I've had in eight years. (the last one did that thing where you typed... and waited... and sometime later, maybe words would show up, as if perhaps they had sat at home for a bit, vacillating over whether or not to attend this particular party, rearranging their outfit self-conciously in the mirror for hours.) And in the week I've been here, I've met and hung out with people my actual own age and discovered that it wasn't JUST I who was crazy (I am crazy,) but I've been just so out of place... I heart my friends who happen to still have "teen" tacked on the end of their age, but for the most part you can't identifty with the place someone is at in their life if you've never been there. Thats why I always felt so weird... I had graduated from high school, college, moved across the country, almost married twice, taught high school, managed at a business, moved back across the country AGAIN, and I was trying to seriously make deep emotional contact with high school seniors. It's just not the same place. Its just not the same rolodex of concerns and celebrations.
I can't describe what a releif it is, after what feels like a second puberty minus that stage where you awkwardly have to discover deodorant, that I'm not some kind of freak... I was just with a bunch of people, MOST (but not all) of whom I didn't really share any experience. I feel confident and healthier, mentally, emotionally physically and spiritually. It's a good affirmation to feel after a big move... that it was the right decision.
I've even met a guy (ha ha) my own age that seems like he might be halfway somewhat possibly maybe (?) interested in me, and he likes comic books and Jesus. Right on! Well, its more than ive achieved in three years in Texas. Trying not to be too excited, since I just met him. That's so totally girlie. I'm such a girl.
Its kind of nice, though, I think I'm sick of being a sorry fratboy.