Things, things I need to do...
like writing. I've been doing that again lately, I was hit with a wave of inspiration and finally got a new article in the works for Modern Poly -- I wanna keep my name on the front page.
I also managed to tell off someone who has been burdening me actually pretty badly. So I feel less of a need to be in hiding now. I have learned it is possible to confront people when you have bad feelings about them, even if it's just an instinct... which ended up seemingly correct. I am not good at confrontations, and at first I felt bad about confronting them, but now I just feel incredibly relieved that I have changed the status quo and will no longer be treated with disrespect... I hope. Valuable life lesson.
Today I attempted to vacuum, but was not content with the vacuum doing a bad job, so I opened it up to see what was wrong with it -- it was completely clogged, the entire hose! So I spent about an hour pushing the clog out with a broom handle and water and a skewer. It was pretty disgusting, but I felt accomplished and useful. I like doing handy things and making repairs on my own stuff, I feel like it gives me some cred... even if I'm not the most domestically skilled, I am not inert.
Anyway, back to writing. I looked through other essays and realized that I've been overshooting for length, and that a short piece is valuable too. I've also found a literary journal that has a free, open submission period all year -- it's called Whiskeypapers, so it sounds a little bit up my alley. I am working on retooling a piece that I submitted for my (rejected) creative writing portfolio.
I wonder how my skill in poetry is. I haven't taken a class in years. I feel that I am generally competent and technically skilled, but I don't know if I have enough soul or enough inspiration or enough muscle memory to really be as good as I was when I was a poetry major the first time around. I wonder what a capstone poetry class is even like.
I still need to finish my incomplete. Since the teacher didn't upload the last of the assignments until the very end of the semester, I put off doing them, stupidly. they might not even count anymore, but since she doesn't want to talk to me for the rest of the summer, I figure I might have a shot at submitting them, if I submit them ASAP. It always seems to be the first thing that slips my mind, though, the last thing I remember.
I'm supposed to be up editing my MP piece, but instead I figured I should write here. I stayed up late watching Arrested Development, and I'm starting to feel more composed in my relationship again. I'm starting to feel attractive again. These are all positives. I want everything to keep getting better.
oh yeah and I'm going back to cam work next week. :( bummer.