I just dont get anything, anymore
ok so i know i shouldnt be doing this but i do it anyways...i read emelios ex-girlfriends...or they could be going back out, but since friday there not, well anyways i read her xanga, and i guess emelio has been trying to hook up with someone. I just feel like a loser. Like i liked him so much, and thought he liked me a little bit ago. I just want him back :( i know that sounds weird, but i guess i just miss liking him.
My day was good up untill i got home my computer is freaking out and im suppose to copy everyones cds, and if i dont get them done then everyone will be mad. Its horrible. Then i found out that Emelio is going for someome else. I just miss Emelio, like I know that i just saw him, but seriously i miss him. Is that crazy? Like because were not together or anything. I dont even know if we are friends. I hate how things can be over, without you having a say on any of it. I just want everything to be good. But it never will be. Like there is always going to be something wrong with me. My life is horrible. Like nothing has ever come easy to me. And millions of people have been so mean to me in my life. Its just so horrible. Like what have i dont to deserve this crap. I just feel like crying and im listening to sad music so its not helping. I just feel like crap. And i dont think anyone understands. I need help though. I need support :( i need so many things...haha how bout a mom? I know that i shouldnt be complaining, because im not that kind of a person but im not really complaining. I mean its all stuff i have to live with and had to lived with for many years now. Its just not fair that i got so many of them. And that my mom and dad just sat and watched all this happen. And watched me turn into to someone with so many problems. And so many of the sadness is there fault. I just dont understand how they could treat their child like this. Like when i have children i will never leave them behind and i will always put them first. Isnt that how it is suppose to be? I know my dad trys and i give him many points for that...but my mom...eh i dont even want to talk about, but i need to go...i cant talk about it anymore its making me want to cry.
My day was good up untill i got home my computer is freaking out and im suppose to copy everyones cds, and if i dont get them done then everyone will be mad. Its horrible. Then i found out that Emelio is going for someome else. I just miss Emelio, like I know that i just saw him, but seriously i miss him. Is that crazy? Like because were not together or anything. I dont even know if we are friends. I hate how things can be over, without you having a say on any of it. I just want everything to be good. But it never will be. Like there is always going to be something wrong with me. My life is horrible. Like nothing has ever come easy to me. And millions of people have been so mean to me in my life. Its just so horrible. Like what have i dont to deserve this crap. I just feel like crying and im listening to sad music so its not helping. I just feel like crap. And i dont think anyone understands. I need help though. I need support :( i need so many things...haha how bout a mom? I know that i shouldnt be complaining, because im not that kind of a person but im not really complaining. I mean its all stuff i have to live with and had to lived with for many years now. Its just not fair that i got so many of them. And that my mom and dad just sat and watched all this happen. And watched me turn into to someone with so many problems. And so many of the sadness is there fault. I just dont understand how they could treat their child like this. Like when i have children i will never leave them behind and i will always put them first. Isnt that how it is suppose to be? I know my dad trys and i give him many points for that...but my mom...eh i dont even want to talk about, but i need to go...i cant talk about it anymore its making me want to cry.