Left Behind
and so here it begins: the goodbyes.
the watching them leave, one by one.
the being happy for them that they are all going to have one hell of a wonderful experience out there, in that Land we all share such a common passion for, living the Language we've spent semesters learning together.
and.
the knowing that it is something that you yourself can never be a part of.
its like standing on the shore while they all board a glitzy glamorous beautiful ship.
trying to join the queue of passengers but somehow being rooted to the sand, held back by invisible chains.
eventually the last one gets on and the doors shut.
they wave goodbye from the deck, happy and full of giddy anticipation.
you can do nothing but stand and watch.
and watch.
and watch as that ship eventually rolls out of the harbour, and gradually moves on and on, disappearing into nothing more than a mere speck on the horizon.
the sun finishes its Untergang, and there you are,
still standing on the shore now dark,
watching a now empty ocean,
with an equally empty heart.
and it hits you.
you have been excluded.
Left Behind.
zurückgelassen werden.
and what mocks you even further, is that this was somewhat your own choice, your own doing; because You Didnt Fight despite it being your heart's desire, the only thing you ever wanted out of your university education, to leave with them on that dazzling ship, headed for your very own Märchenland.
ich habe nicht gekämpft.
and for the thousandth time you wonder: Why.
Warum.
Wieso darf ich nicht auch gehen?
the watching them leave, one by one.
the being happy for them that they are all going to have one hell of a wonderful experience out there, in that Land we all share such a common passion for, living the Language we've spent semesters learning together.
and.
the knowing that it is something that you yourself can never be a part of.
its like standing on the shore while they all board a glitzy glamorous beautiful ship.
trying to join the queue of passengers but somehow being rooted to the sand, held back by invisible chains.
eventually the last one gets on and the doors shut.
they wave goodbye from the deck, happy and full of giddy anticipation.
you can do nothing but stand and watch.
and watch.
and watch as that ship eventually rolls out of the harbour, and gradually moves on and on, disappearing into nothing more than a mere speck on the horizon.
the sun finishes its Untergang, and there you are,
still standing on the shore now dark,
watching a now empty ocean,
with an equally empty heart.
and it hits you.
you have been excluded.
Left Behind.
zurückgelassen werden.
and what mocks you even further, is that this was somewhat your own choice, your own doing; because You Didnt Fight despite it being your heart's desire, the only thing you ever wanted out of your university education, to leave with them on that dazzling ship, headed for your very own Märchenland.
ich habe nicht gekämpft.
and for the thousandth time you wonder: Why.
Warum.
Wieso darf ich nicht auch gehen?