Ive never been so alone, and Ive never been so alive...
So, Im very confused at this moment in my life. Too many details to worry about...so little time.
I guess Dwight is coming this weekend...Im not so sure how I feel about him anymore. Maybe its because I havent seen him in a long ass time. Im scared, I dont want to hurt him. I always seem to fuck things up somehow. Besides the obvious...I dont want to hurt anyone else in the process of him coming. I dont know how its going to be, and Im sorry to the one who has to witness how it is going to be. That probably only makes sense to me...
At this point...I have soooo many oportunities with guys, but Im really fucked up right now with emotions...therefore...I like the thought of being alone...even though Im not.
Anyways, Im broke...no money...no gas...no food...
Ramen makes me want to puke everytime I see it. Ive been eating it for a consistant 2 weeks now...
I might as well....just become anorexic again.
School blows my 17 testicles...Im only sure...Im going to have to move back to Sacramento. And, that isnt ideal for me. I love it here and I love you...but I fucked up.
Sometimes...I sit and wonder...what it would be like if we didnt break up the frst time. Would we still be together? Probably not, but I still think 'What if?' Im only positive that Im over everything we had. And now it fades....like our love was never there in the first place. I jumped ahead quickly with finding a new "someone".....and I think it has either helped me or drown me in some way??? I cant decide. Im blind to all posibilities. Anyways...random thought about the ex. I hope all is well with texas.
Man, Im delerious and thinking about useless memories. I need to go to bed.
(((((:::::Early Morning :::::))))))
I guess Dwight is coming this weekend...Im not so sure how I feel about him anymore. Maybe its because I havent seen him in a long ass time. Im scared, I dont want to hurt him. I always seem to fuck things up somehow. Besides the obvious...I dont want to hurt anyone else in the process of him coming. I dont know how its going to be, and Im sorry to the one who has to witness how it is going to be. That probably only makes sense to me...
At this point...I have soooo many oportunities with guys, but Im really fucked up right now with emotions...therefore...I like the thought of being alone...even though Im not.
Anyways, Im broke...no money...no gas...no food...
Ramen makes me want to puke everytime I see it. Ive been eating it for a consistant 2 weeks now...
I might as well....just become anorexic again.
School blows my 17 testicles...Im only sure...Im going to have to move back to Sacramento. And, that isnt ideal for me. I love it here and I love you...but I fucked up.
Sometimes...I sit and wonder...what it would be like if we didnt break up the frst time. Would we still be together? Probably not, but I still think 'What if?' Im only positive that Im over everything we had. And now it fades....like our love was never there in the first place. I jumped ahead quickly with finding a new "someone".....and I think it has either helped me or drown me in some way??? I cant decide. Im blind to all posibilities. Anyways...random thought about the ex. I hope all is well with texas.
Man, Im delerious and thinking about useless memories. I need to go to bed.
(((((:::::Early Morning :::::))))))