Open Hands/Hands Open (1/1)
Author: serafina19
Title: Open Hands/Hands Open
Summary: Chloe and Oliver discover that peace can be found in the simplest gesture.
Rating: PG
Timeline: Doomsday-Roulette
Open Hands/Hands Open
Everybody wants the one to make them live forever
Nobody wants to be the only one to say they can't
And now I am seeing the way that you're leaving without me
...
Open hands are hard to hold onto anyway
It was eerie, the way that the silence seemed to run through her body, how everything was once within her grip, only to slip right through. How this place was supposed to be a sign of hope and instead she worked hard every day to erase the nightmare it had become.
That didn't stop Chloe from leaving though, as it wasn't like the world outside was any better. The memories haunted her here, but they also pushed her forward, to ensure that no one lost everything like this again.
Staring at her hands, she considered all they had done lately. They were her livelihood now, as typing was about the only sound that maintained her sanity. She remembered how they once served a purpose in saving someone she cared about, how they held onto someone she loved when she said her wedding vows.
How they slacked when everything started to break out of her control.
The cool sensation of taking the ring off and placing it on her dresser, with motivation that things would be better one day. It was for the best, she told herself, Jimmy deserved a different life than she could provide.
At least, he did before she made a decision that would lead to his death. Honestly, what good did making things right with her ex when she felt his hand slip from hers after 1.5 seconds of happiness? What good did his death serve when her best friend refused to stay behind when she was falling apart? What good did she serve to the team that didn't exist?
The worst part, it wouldn’t be the first time her hand had caused a man to die. Chloe could argue that time, her protective nature was to blame, but it still happened, and that doesn't erase the act from her life's resume.
No wonder everyone left. Some with goodbyes, some not. Even Lois was nowhere to be found, but it wasn't like Chloe had visited the Talon in weeks anyway. If she couldn’t convince Clark to embrace what he had in his life as Clark Kent, then there wasn’t much hope for her there.
With no hand holding left to do, she had to brace herself, move forward and grow on her own. That was the only way she could survive anymore. Even if it meant she committed to a life in this tower.
~0~
Staring at her coffee, she thought about what had happened in the last few days. Taking in the fresh air, the sun warming her back, Chloe was trying not to fight the feeling that specks of normal were coming back into her life. Last night, Lois mentioned how her and Oliver had continued their tradition on his birthday, how he was on permanent watch, as far as she was concerned. It wasn’t much, but it was a start in seeing the people around her happy again. Lois even asked Chloe how she was this morning. Chloe had lied, saying that everything was okay, but that didn’t matter. Chloe had seen the places Oliver had sunk to, and if he had time for birthday traditions, he wasn’t too far gone.
Because when she first saw the video, for just one second, she remembered what it felt like to care again. It hurt like hell, and as much as she didn’t want to feel like that again, at least this time, she could do something about it.
It wouldn’t be enough after that night, she knew that. That was likely why she had hatched this crazy plan. It was clear that Oliver had punished himself just as much as she had, possibly even more. The edge he pushed himself to was wrong, and even if she refused to see the potential in her life, she didn't want anyone one else to feel that pain.
At the end, she thanked the team and logged off at Watchtower, not expecting a compliment, a follow-up, or even a thank you from anyone. It wasn't like she wanted Oliver to know it was her idea, and one day, it would be nothing but a distant memory. Besides, Chloe wasn't overly used to thank you's.
That was before a chess piece came down in front of her eyes. She didn't deny Oliver's intelligence as he dissected everything... perfectly. This was a strange change, but she kept her steely demeanour because there was no good in showing her gratitude that he had officially backed away from that edge. Not yet, anyway.
She did show him how serious she was through words, but Oliver surprised her when he took a difference approach. It took everything she had to still her expression when he reached across and took her hands in his. It had worked, but the idea of having a hand to hold onto, a hand that wanted to hold hers, that meant more than she wanted to admit.
It brought back a memory to the surface, how she had reached across and touched his hand, silently telling him to trust her on the darkest day of her life. That time had backfired, but now, she had made up for that, he had reached back for her, telling her thank you.
That was enough for now.
~0~
When she finally smiled back at him, he started to recognize her again. Her hard exterior, the conviction her words held, they all served a purpose, but Oliver had comforted by seeing genuine peace in her expression. Especially after everything she had done for him.
A few days ago, life was something that he was willing to throw away, but Chloe had reminded him why he fought to get off the island, why he led the team. If nothing else, he remembered why he used to push on, even when things got tough.
Seeing her now though, it was clear to see that she hadn't recovered from Jimmy's death either. Understandable, but there was something else that told him more more than her words and face ever could. It was an admirable poker face, but the way she accepted, maybe even enjoyed the way his fingers wrapped around hers made him realize just how isolated she had become.
After all, it took one to spot one right? Hand holding wasn't exactly his strong suit either, but after meeting her eyes, seeing the confidence that she had for him, it was only fair to return the favour.
From that moment, it was as if everything around them disappeared. Cars were probably driving by, the waitress may have asked him if he wanted anything, but they both relished this. However, he knew better than to push it, so he broke the stillness, cracking a smile. After all, he had a company to run and all the problems that he made wouldn't fix themselves here.
"Thank you," he whispered one last time, taking his hands back, ignoring the way the stale air cooled them instantly. Still, he maintained eye contact as he pulled out his chair. "Okay if I check out HQ tonight?"
"Yeah, sure," she said, taking a sip from her coffee.
"Great, see you then."
He had turned around, ready to leave it at that, but her voice interrupted his first few steps. "Hey Oliver."
Looking over his shoulder, he was about to ask what she wanted, but she answered that question for him. "Thanks."
It threw him for a second, not sure why she was thanking him when she saved his life, but then he realized that this stunt could have gone more than one way. He listened, he learned, but more importantly, he remembered who would got to this length to save him.
That was why he was tempted to remind her that she was the hero in this case, but that wasn't what she wanted to hear. One day, Oliver would tell her again just how much he appreciated this, but until then, all he could say was, "You're welcome."
Well, it makes it easier to know
Exactly what I want with my
Hands open, my eyes open
I just keep hoping that your heart opens...
~End~
Sera’s Scribbles: Lyrics are from songs by Ingrid Michaelson and Snow Patrol. The former song fits them beautifully during this timeline, but you know how I'm a sucker for hope, so when I realized the parallel titles, I couldn't resist.
But this came from multiple points of inspiration. the_bluesuede’s Contact, still one of my favourite one-shots, fickery’s strength, support from scout09. Long story short, the last five months have been a struggle for me, but knowing that I always have a place to escape to, that I have people here who care about me, that means more to me than you know.
So if you’ve commented on my fics in the past, sent me a birthday wish, even if this is the first of my fics that you have ever read, thank you.
.
Title: Open Hands/Hands Open
Summary: Chloe and Oliver discover that peace can be found in the simplest gesture.
Rating: PG
Timeline: Doomsday-Roulette
Open Hands/Hands Open
Everybody wants the one to make them live forever
Nobody wants to be the only one to say they can't
And now I am seeing the way that you're leaving without me
...
Open hands are hard to hold onto anyway
It was eerie, the way that the silence seemed to run through her body, how everything was once within her grip, only to slip right through. How this place was supposed to be a sign of hope and instead she worked hard every day to erase the nightmare it had become.
That didn't stop Chloe from leaving though, as it wasn't like the world outside was any better. The memories haunted her here, but they also pushed her forward, to ensure that no one lost everything like this again.
Staring at her hands, she considered all they had done lately. They were her livelihood now, as typing was about the only sound that maintained her sanity. She remembered how they once served a purpose in saving someone she cared about, how they held onto someone she loved when she said her wedding vows.
How they slacked when everything started to break out of her control.
The cool sensation of taking the ring off and placing it on her dresser, with motivation that things would be better one day. It was for the best, she told herself, Jimmy deserved a different life than she could provide.
At least, he did before she made a decision that would lead to his death. Honestly, what good did making things right with her ex when she felt his hand slip from hers after 1.5 seconds of happiness? What good did his death serve when her best friend refused to stay behind when she was falling apart? What good did she serve to the team that didn't exist?
The worst part, it wouldn’t be the first time her hand had caused a man to die. Chloe could argue that time, her protective nature was to blame, but it still happened, and that doesn't erase the act from her life's resume.
No wonder everyone left. Some with goodbyes, some not. Even Lois was nowhere to be found, but it wasn't like Chloe had visited the Talon in weeks anyway. If she couldn’t convince Clark to embrace what he had in his life as Clark Kent, then there wasn’t much hope for her there.
With no hand holding left to do, she had to brace herself, move forward and grow on her own. That was the only way she could survive anymore. Even if it meant she committed to a life in this tower.
~0~
Staring at her coffee, she thought about what had happened in the last few days. Taking in the fresh air, the sun warming her back, Chloe was trying not to fight the feeling that specks of normal were coming back into her life. Last night, Lois mentioned how her and Oliver had continued their tradition on his birthday, how he was on permanent watch, as far as she was concerned. It wasn’t much, but it was a start in seeing the people around her happy again. Lois even asked Chloe how she was this morning. Chloe had lied, saying that everything was okay, but that didn’t matter. Chloe had seen the places Oliver had sunk to, and if he had time for birthday traditions, he wasn’t too far gone.
Because when she first saw the video, for just one second, she remembered what it felt like to care again. It hurt like hell, and as much as she didn’t want to feel like that again, at least this time, she could do something about it.
It wouldn’t be enough after that night, she knew that. That was likely why she had hatched this crazy plan. It was clear that Oliver had punished himself just as much as she had, possibly even more. The edge he pushed himself to was wrong, and even if she refused to see the potential in her life, she didn't want anyone one else to feel that pain.
At the end, she thanked the team and logged off at Watchtower, not expecting a compliment, a follow-up, or even a thank you from anyone. It wasn't like she wanted Oliver to know it was her idea, and one day, it would be nothing but a distant memory. Besides, Chloe wasn't overly used to thank you's.
That was before a chess piece came down in front of her eyes. She didn't deny Oliver's intelligence as he dissected everything... perfectly. This was a strange change, but she kept her steely demeanour because there was no good in showing her gratitude that he had officially backed away from that edge. Not yet, anyway.
She did show him how serious she was through words, but Oliver surprised her when he took a difference approach. It took everything she had to still her expression when he reached across and took her hands in his. It had worked, but the idea of having a hand to hold onto, a hand that wanted to hold hers, that meant more than she wanted to admit.
It brought back a memory to the surface, how she had reached across and touched his hand, silently telling him to trust her on the darkest day of her life. That time had backfired, but now, she had made up for that, he had reached back for her, telling her thank you.
That was enough for now.
~0~
When she finally smiled back at him, he started to recognize her again. Her hard exterior, the conviction her words held, they all served a purpose, but Oliver had comforted by seeing genuine peace in her expression. Especially after everything she had done for him.
A few days ago, life was something that he was willing to throw away, but Chloe had reminded him why he fought to get off the island, why he led the team. If nothing else, he remembered why he used to push on, even when things got tough.
Seeing her now though, it was clear to see that she hadn't recovered from Jimmy's death either. Understandable, but there was something else that told him more more than her words and face ever could. It was an admirable poker face, but the way she accepted, maybe even enjoyed the way his fingers wrapped around hers made him realize just how isolated she had become.
After all, it took one to spot one right? Hand holding wasn't exactly his strong suit either, but after meeting her eyes, seeing the confidence that she had for him, it was only fair to return the favour.
From that moment, it was as if everything around them disappeared. Cars were probably driving by, the waitress may have asked him if he wanted anything, but they both relished this. However, he knew better than to push it, so he broke the stillness, cracking a smile. After all, he had a company to run and all the problems that he made wouldn't fix themselves here.
"Thank you," he whispered one last time, taking his hands back, ignoring the way the stale air cooled them instantly. Still, he maintained eye contact as he pulled out his chair. "Okay if I check out HQ tonight?"
"Yeah, sure," she said, taking a sip from her coffee.
"Great, see you then."
He had turned around, ready to leave it at that, but her voice interrupted his first few steps. "Hey Oliver."
Looking over his shoulder, he was about to ask what she wanted, but she answered that question for him. "Thanks."
It threw him for a second, not sure why she was thanking him when she saved his life, but then he realized that this stunt could have gone more than one way. He listened, he learned, but more importantly, he remembered who would got to this length to save him.
That was why he was tempted to remind her that she was the hero in this case, but that wasn't what she wanted to hear. One day, Oliver would tell her again just how much he appreciated this, but until then, all he could say was, "You're welcome."
Well, it makes it easier to know
Exactly what I want with my
Hands open, my eyes open
I just keep hoping that your heart opens...
~End~
Sera’s Scribbles: Lyrics are from songs by Ingrid Michaelson and Snow Patrol. The former song fits them beautifully during this timeline, but you know how I'm a sucker for hope, so when I realized the parallel titles, I couldn't resist.
But this came from multiple points of inspiration. the_bluesuede’s Contact, still one of my favourite one-shots, fickery’s strength, support from scout09. Long story short, the last five months have been a struggle for me, but knowing that I always have a place to escape to, that I have people here who care about me, that means more to me than you know.
So if you’ve commented on my fics in the past, sent me a birthday wish, even if this is the first of my fics that you have ever read, thank you.
.