Hopes and Fears (1/1)
Author: serafina19
Title: Hopes and Fears
Summary: The whole time, intimacy had a narrow definition in their relationship. But after close calls on both sides, Chloe and Oliver reflect on how things are beginning to change.
Rating: PG-13
Timeline: Sacrifice. Part of my "Something Missing" series, but as always, I think this can be read as a stand-alone.
Previous Stories: Something Missing Sleepless Smiles Sudden Sunlight
Hopes and Fears
She froze as she stared into his hospital room. The timing was uncanny, but it wasn’t like she could blame Oliver. It wasn’t like he planned on becoming the branding ground of a vengeance-filled alien. But the fact that he was admitted while Chloe was working with Tess to get Checkmate off their trail, the fact that she was in the building when he was in surgery, it shook her more than Chloe wanted to admit. Then again, it didn’t help that she found out by the presence of photographers outside the hospital, inquiring whether the rumours were true that Oliver Queen had been admitted.
Chloe had rushed back into the hospital, narrowing down Emil as fast as she could. He was handling Oliver’s case fortunately and he was able to tell her what had happened. She had always been a woman of words, but Chloe felt herself lose her voice momentarily as Emil described his condition.
Oliver would be okay, as she knew he would, but the burns would lead to a rough recovery process. She immediately volunteered to take care of him outside of the hospital, and while Emil initially disagreed, Chloe was able to convince him otherwise by the time he had brought her to Oliver’s room.
All this lead her to this moment, just barely able to enter the room. It was harder seeing him like this than she thought. As she closed the door behind her, Chloe leaned her head against it, trying to regulate her breathing and keep her tears at bay. She wasn’t sure what had come over her, as Chloe knew that she was stronger than this, not to mention that she had just avoided death herself.
Maybe that was the reason that she wanted to see him... conscious right now. To have him hold her after she told him about Tess knowing her secret and their brush with Checkmate knocking on Watchtower’s door. They would have to avoid the building for the time being, as there was a chance that their covers could be blown if they returned soon. In fact, Chloe had sent out messages to everyone, but there was still one member who hadn’t heard the news.
Taking a deep breath, Chloe turned around to watch his still form. It was wrong, all of it. Oliver may be ‘just’ a human, but his strength was always something that was apparent in him. Even when he slept, finally taking a second to relax, Chloe could always relax as she heard him breathe next to her. Now, his breathing was quieter and much shallower than she could ever remember it being.
He's not going to leave you.
It was almost as if she read her mind, sitting there on the floor, figuring out how each of them was going to die. Chloe had pictured plenty of scenarios, but having a heart-to-heart with Tess about her arrangement with Oliver wasn't one of them.
With you he has a purpose. I wish I could have given him that.
All she did was help him, like any other teammate. The purpose he found all on his own. That's what she kept telling herself, but even that began to fade into the background, as the only thing Chloe could focus on was the sleeping figure in front of her.
It was almost eerie watching him be so still. Chloe had gotten used to the power in his eyes when he scanned over intel, or the softness that came when he first looked at her in the morning. There was always life in him, even in something like his grip. There was a firmness to it, but he pulled off a delicate balance, as he would go from the precision of firing his bow to effectively defending himself, or from smoothly picking her off the floor to softly cradling her face. No matter what happened, even in the darkest of times, Chloe had enough confidence in Oliver to know he would be okay.
This time was different, as she felt her heartbeat match the machine next to her. It had nothing to do with her hatred of hospitals, just the fact that she had no clue what would happen now. He had access to the best doctors and even Emil said that he would be better in time. She just wanted him to wake up so she could tell him that, but also so she could calm her own nerves.
You have everything right in front of you... and you can't even see it.
Firmly shutting her eyes, Chloe shook her head, wanting Tess' words to get out of it. It was more complicated than that, it always was. Yet despite that knowledge, it hurt thinking about it, and Chloe was pretty sure it showed in her face as she grabbed his hand.
“You don’t have to have eight hours now,” she whispered, wanting to roll her eyes for thinking he could hear her. Not long ago, she remembered waking up in his arms, staying the night at his place, sleeping until 10 a.m., an unheard-of concept in her life. But there was something about being with him that calmed her more than Chloe would ever admit out loud.
Staring at the hand that held his, for once Chloe didn’t care who would see them, she just wanted Oliver to know that he wasn’t alone. Reaching forward, she moulded her hand against his face, hoping that he would soon open his eyes. But it appeared she would have to wait a little bit longer.
~0~
Getting him to the clocktower wasn’t easy, as Oliver insisted that he was okay, but after trying to stand on his own, both Emil and Chloe could see that wasn’t the case. So once he sat in the chair, Oliver momentarily cooperated, trusting both enough to get him into his bed. Once Oliver was settled, Emil took his leave, offering assistance and essentially telling Oliver that Chloe was in charge, but the moment the doctor turned the corner, Oliver was ready to test the extent of his injuries once more.
Seeing him try, Chloe quickly jumped into action, pressing her fingers lightly against Oliver’s chest, hoping that he would stop himself from lengthening his recovery. Meeting his eyes, Chloe wanted to ensure that Oliver knew that she was dead serious. "You don't mess with doctor's orders Oliver."
"Then stay," Oliver replied with a shrug before patting the place on the bed next to him. "It wasn't so hard last time, was it?"
Chloe’s mouth gaped open as she remembered the morning she had spent here not too long ago. That was different, she wanted to say. There was separation, she missed him, there was… no sex involved. Which was against their agreement and Chloe didn’t want to give Oliver any ideas.
On the other hand though was the fact that Chloe knew that she wouldn’t be able to concentrate away from him while he was like this. Besides, Oliver did offer. "I... suppose I can bring my laptop." Seeing Oliver smile, Chloe began backing away slowly. “Don’t move while I’m gone, okay?”
Oliver nodded. “I’ll be here.”
Smiling, Chloe turned around and left the room, but she felt herself pause in the hallway, as the rest of her day flashed in front of her once more. Technically she could borrow Oliver’s computer, but there were things that she had to tell Oliver before she got too far.
So she turned back and re-entered Oliver’s bedroom, not surprised to hear him say, “That was fast.”
Pacing slowly to the other side of the bed, Chloe began to explain. “It’s at Watchtower, which is currently in a… unique situation.”
The pause caught Oliver’s attention, his eyes narrowing in response. “Define unique.”
Crawling on the bed, Chloe sat next to him. As she took a deep breath, Chloe knew this isn’t the way she wanted to tell him, but there wasn’t much of an option. “Let’s just say yours isn’t the only secret Tess Mercer knows. And it may have led to the new security system activating… with us inside.”
Oliver’s eyes immediately widened. “Why didn’t you say anything?” Despite his condition, this wasn’t a light matter by any means. Her identity being compromised wasn’t something Oliver wanted to hear right now, but that was all clouded over by the fact that he knew the specifics of the security system. “How…you said that -”
“A lucky break, I assure you,” Chloe interjected, not wanting to get into details. It seemed silly now, but the destruction of Watchtower’s database was still a tough pill to swallow. She could get it back up again and it wasn’t a choice she’d take back, but taking away all that work hurt. “And compared to you… it felt secondary.”
That may have been true, but her life had been in danger, something he thought wouldn’t happen that way because of his last conversation with Tess. He thought that he had made himself clear, but instead Tess targeted the closest person to him. “I told her to stay away.”
Chloe watched him, quickly noticing how Oliver was gritting his teeth on the inside. “I know that look Ollie, but… don’t.”
“Chloe, she’s -”
“I also know what Tess is capable of Oliver, trust me.” Chloe moved her hands to take his and tried to talk him down. “But she’s far from the worst of our problems right now and with Watchtower out of commission, we don’t have time.”
Oliver nodded slowly, catching a hidden message in her explanation. “Well, if you want to go fix the database… I’m fine, really.”
To his surprise, Chloe quickly shook her head. “Checkmate was tracking us, so the last thing I want to risk right now is going to Watchtower.” Squeezing his hands, Chloe was sure to add, “But even then, you’re not fine Oliver… and I want to be here.”
She had dipped her head slightly, which was probably best for both parties as Oliver was pretty sure that his smile would have given away what her words made him feel. “So what do you have in mind?”
“This is pretty sad to admit,” Chloe said before biting the inside of her lip, “but you may have to wait for anything nurse-related. I’m beat.” Sitting for hours awake at the hospital did that to a person, not to mention that Chloe hadn’t had a coffee in that time. Besides her little spat with Clark, she was at Oliver's side, waiting for him to wake up. Fortunately… he did.
Releasing his hands, she lay down carefully on the bed, ensuring there was enough space between them. “Do you mind?”
Shaking his head, Oliver turned the light off, knowing that he wouldn’t get a lot of work done while she was trying to sleep. But even with the lights off, he could sense Chloe staring at him, not letting herself relax.
She wanted to, she really did, but Chloe was just grateful that he was okay. Sure, the recovery process would take some time, but seeing him acting normally again warmed her inside and Chloe didn’t want to fall asleep on the chance that this was just a dream.
“Come here.”
She looked up at Oliver, who moved his body down slightly before reaching his arm out towards her. Chloe could see the grimace on his face with the small movement, so she quickly shook her head. “I don’t, I mean, I shouldn’t… you know.”
“Come here,” Oliver repeated, hoping that she would listen to him this time. He knew how stubborn she was, but so was he, and he was determined to win this time.
Moving closer, Chloe figured that it couldn’t hurt. “Okay.” Her chest against his side, Chloe placed her hand carefully, making sure not to touch the bandages. In response, Oliver wrapped his arm around her, settling his fingers on her waist.
It was this moment Chloe realized that their definition of intimacy seemed to be changing. The last couple of times she had been in his bed, they had been clothed and sex never crossed either of their minds. Last time, Chloe just wanted that familiar feeling because Oliver had been gone for a while. But this time, they actually couldn’t have sex and she didn’t seem to mind. Smoothing her fingers on his chest, Chloe never realized how well she fit against his body and how amazing he made her feel, just holding her close.
“Oliver,” she whispered, “I’m…I’m glad you’re okay.”
“Me too,” he replied with a smile as her eyes shut, her head leaning delicately against his shoulder. It didn’t take too long for Chloe to nod off, but Oliver was caught in a stare. A few months ago, he would have scoffed if anyone suggested that he would become this comfortable with Chloe.
Despite their camaraderie, their working relationship, and the fact Chloe was a very attractive women, with them, it always felt like it was a line that they would never cross. And while lines never stopped Oliver before, hers was one relationship that he didn’t want to screw up. Not again, anyway. It was probably why Clark’s words sunk so deep, as Oliver had seen people use Chloe, not respecting what she needed and she deserved someone who treated her well.
But that was also why Oliver was scared, as there were feelings that were starting to become more obvious by the second.
You better be careful Ollie. I might start to think you’re falling for me.
If she only knew, he thought. However, Oliver never had planned on falling for Chloe Sullivan. From day one, he knew what he was getting into; it was every relationship he had ever had. Except this time, he didn’t want to run from what he and Chloe shared. Instead, Oliver wanted to hold her, just like this, and never let her go. And she was letting him, so maybe there was a chance that she was falling for him too.
~End~
Personal Disclaimer: I''m far from a medical expert- so I could be off-base on the recovery.