Moment of Truth (1/1)
Author: serafina19
Title: Moment of Truth
Show: Suits
Rating: PG
Summary: After Donna leaves for the bathroom, Rachel remembers her own relationship quandary.
Timeline: Dog Fight (1x12)
Sera's Scribbles: Not sure where this came from... and I'm not really sure how it panned out, but with any luck, you'll enjoy it.
Moment of Truth
What was wrong with her?
Here she was, questioning Donna, when the whole reason this girls night even happened was because she was helping Rachel get over her problems. Or rather, a walking problem by the name of Mike Ross.
Rachel knew his relationship status, heck, she knew that when she kissed him, but it still happened, and it wasn’t leaving her mind anytime soon. Donna was right. You can never go back.
She stared at the glass, its contents, before looking out the window of Harvey Specter’s office. Even in her five year duration at Pearson Hardman, she hardly knew the man because she was usually stuck with Louis. But Harvey’s reputation preceded everything else, and Mike seemed destined to follow in his footsteps.
Rolling her eyes, Rachel realized that she found her way back at square one and that she really needed to get a grip of herself. Even with his potential, right now, Mike was just one of many associates at the firm, nothing more. Even with her, the first day routine had been the same: he flirted, she shut him down.
But since then, somehow ... Mike had gotten to her. They were supposed to be done, over, but Rachel couldn't truly let him go. Maybe that was why she hadn't told anyone else how he had cheated in life to get to this point.
Placing the glass on the desk, Rachel reached back to grab her phone, knowing that the difference between back then and now was that she didn’t care.
Mike was good at his job, better than most associates here, and even if he cut corners, that didn’t completely define his persona. He was the one person who called Rachel when she was wrongfully suspended and he was one of the few who truly respected her at the firm.
Sure, he had called her out on all of her insecurities and he could read her like a book, but Mike never used that against her, even when a golden opportunity presented itself. Time after time, he would show Rachel that all he wanted to do was help people. It was a fact that made working with him harder, as even if things were different, it wouldn't be easy to manage a relationship without getting caught, Louis would make sure of that. He had already done a bang-up job of letting Rachel know that he knew about their kiss, the slip-up on Rachel’s part.
But Rachel didn’t care about that. She knew what she had done, the line that she crossed, and she didn't regret it, but she did feel guilty. Jenny was a good person, someone that Mike could use in his life to get away from the firm’s drama. The worst part was that Rachel knew that she had played with Mike's feelings, but she liked to think her intentions were genuine, that she actually cared about him.
That was why this had to stop. She dialled his number and waited for him to pick up, only he never did. Maybe this was better, Rachel thought, leaving a message on his voicemail. No time for interruptions or any further stalling; she was going to be honest, lay all of her cards on the table. It was better than pretending the kiss didn't happen, because she couldn’t pretend that it didn't matter anymore.
~End~