Question.
Whose going to the pride parade on sunday? Bleh. Personally, I'm not really all that motivated to go this year, I'm more motivated to go over to market days instead. All my friends tell me they either got work, or that they are watching the world cup. Bleh, I wanted to take my friend Chuy, but he doesn't want to miss the game. Too many people would rather just stagnate in front of a television than experience something that they never have. Oh well. If i don't find anyone to go with, then I'm just going to go to market days with Freddy and skip the parade. ew. Sweaty strangers rubbing against eachother, pushing, touching...no thanks.
I remember about three years ago when I went for the very first time how excited I was. I was all about getting the beads, talking to random strangers, and drinking. None of that shit really gives me the kind of excitement it used to give me. How sad, no? I'm so burned out. You know what it is too? I really hate running into people that I dislike and acting like I'm actually interested in catching up with them just to be polite. Well you know what? I'm tired of that polite garbage. Don't be surprised if you see me and I don't even acknowledge your existence. No, I don't have a cell phone (even though I do) and I'm not giving you my number. I don't want to know about your life, and I want to forget you ever existed. Leave me alone please. Thank you.
You know what would be great? A friend suggested that it would be nice if everyone had a therapist. A person who really listened to what you said, analyzed it, and then gave a neutral perspective. There are very few people that honestly do that. I've had friends that don't really pay close attention to what you say, but expect you to do the same for them. There are some people that aren't as close anymore that used to do that. One person that I'm really thinking about in particular is Kyle. Hey buddy, I know you still write entries here and this thing, and I want you to know that although we don't speak to eachother as much as we used to, I still remember how close we used to be. Sorry it isn't like before, but you know how people just end up growing apart. I have really fond memories with you, and I just wanted to let you know that I still continue to keep them. Remember those summer days years ago when we would just sit at our computers and talk for so many hours? You would show me your cats and I would show you my old pictures..amongst other things ;)
Memories. I'm so attached to them. I relive them over and over in my brain. I try to look at everything in the positive light that they were in and forget about their current state. Like with Ralphy. I just remember again and again how I used to love him and how we used to be, but I just kind of block out the fact that we don't really relate to eachother or talk to oneanother like we used to. Thinking about that kind of stuff amakes me all happy inside.
I've been having these dreams lately that have to do with people I've been with in the past. I hate to admit it, but for some reason I had a dream with my ex, and he was begging me to go back to him. He would call, and I wouldn't pick up the phone. He would leave me messages on my cell phone and he so upset with me that at some point in the dream he killed himself. No I didn't see it, but for some reason I was aware he did it. I'm not sure how, but he was just gone, he wasn't alive. Kind of freaky/scary. I don't know what it all means. Interpretations, yes?
this is my life, what can i do. I can do very well without you. Without your sneer, without your smile. Without your arms and your awful idea.
I remember about three years ago when I went for the very first time how excited I was. I was all about getting the beads, talking to random strangers, and drinking. None of that shit really gives me the kind of excitement it used to give me. How sad, no? I'm so burned out. You know what it is too? I really hate running into people that I dislike and acting like I'm actually interested in catching up with them just to be polite. Well you know what? I'm tired of that polite garbage. Don't be surprised if you see me and I don't even acknowledge your existence. No, I don't have a cell phone (even though I do) and I'm not giving you my number. I don't want to know about your life, and I want to forget you ever existed. Leave me alone please. Thank you.
You know what would be great? A friend suggested that it would be nice if everyone had a therapist. A person who really listened to what you said, analyzed it, and then gave a neutral perspective. There are very few people that honestly do that. I've had friends that don't really pay close attention to what you say, but expect you to do the same for them. There are some people that aren't as close anymore that used to do that. One person that I'm really thinking about in particular is Kyle. Hey buddy, I know you still write entries here and this thing, and I want you to know that although we don't speak to eachother as much as we used to, I still remember how close we used to be. Sorry it isn't like before, but you know how people just end up growing apart. I have really fond memories with you, and I just wanted to let you know that I still continue to keep them. Remember those summer days years ago when we would just sit at our computers and talk for so many hours? You would show me your cats and I would show you my old pictures..amongst other things ;)
Memories. I'm so attached to them. I relive them over and over in my brain. I try to look at everything in the positive light that they were in and forget about their current state. Like with Ralphy. I just remember again and again how I used to love him and how we used to be, but I just kind of block out the fact that we don't really relate to eachother or talk to oneanother like we used to. Thinking about that kind of stuff amakes me all happy inside.
I've been having these dreams lately that have to do with people I've been with in the past. I hate to admit it, but for some reason I had a dream with my ex, and he was begging me to go back to him. He would call, and I wouldn't pick up the phone. He would leave me messages on my cell phone and he so upset with me that at some point in the dream he killed himself. No I didn't see it, but for some reason I was aware he did it. I'm not sure how, but he was just gone, he wasn't alive. Kind of freaky/scary. I don't know what it all means. Interpretations, yes?
this is my life, what can i do. I can do very well without you. Without your sneer, without your smile. Without your arms and your awful idea.