07 Meditations
I guess this is the point where I should say something long and amazingly witty (and be more creative than showing you a picture down my pants). So I will try to sum up my current situation and give you a State of the Colby Address:
Firstly, thanks to you all for coming along for the ride. I'm not sure how many of you are still with me (especially here on live journal). But thank you Chuck, Court, Jacqueline, James, and Jordan.
I have learned this last year how to throw away a relationship without fighting for it. I will regret that one and the ensuing choices I made for many years to come. I also learned how much I enjoy working with teens. I love them, they are a balm to my heart, mind, and soul. There has been the introduction of single life and my inability to deal well with living on my own (but the beauty of walking around your apartment naked at any hour almost outweighs this). There have been many new friends and enemies, as well as an entirely different future unfolding in front of me. I have learned that being a grownup is really just another word for trading 90% of play time for work.
Some realizations come upon you and show your world in a new light. Like realizing that I have a very interesting future where I write the rules and decide what will make me happy, with so many options that it literally blows my mind. And realizing that I never before knew what love really is. And realizing that the choices I make have repercussions both far reaching and unpredictable.
Some realizations show you yourself in a brand new light. Like the fact that I use posessions and wasting time online and with games to fill the gaping hole loneliness leaves. Or that I can actually become a buffer, smarter, sexier version of me who actually has women responding to me without immediate classification as a geek.
And some things you knew all along. Like that God is my only true refuge, companion, and guiding light. And that holding him as such makes my life so much more meaningful and liveable. Also, that it is desperatly difficult to hold on to God during times such as these.
Those of you who read this, know that I will always love you and be there for you.
And know that my deepest hope is that this year be the beginning of lives which will grow in fullness and love, experiences both high and low, and togetherness that will last a lifetime.
I don't plan on loosing a single one of you if I can help it.
I love you all,
Goodnight.
Firstly, thanks to you all for coming along for the ride. I'm not sure how many of you are still with me (especially here on live journal). But thank you Chuck, Court, Jacqueline, James, and Jordan.
I have learned this last year how to throw away a relationship without fighting for it. I will regret that one and the ensuing choices I made for many years to come. I also learned how much I enjoy working with teens. I love them, they are a balm to my heart, mind, and soul. There has been the introduction of single life and my inability to deal well with living on my own (but the beauty of walking around your apartment naked at any hour almost outweighs this). There have been many new friends and enemies, as well as an entirely different future unfolding in front of me. I have learned that being a grownup is really just another word for trading 90% of play time for work.
Some realizations come upon you and show your world in a new light. Like realizing that I have a very interesting future where I write the rules and decide what will make me happy, with so many options that it literally blows my mind. And realizing that I never before knew what love really is. And realizing that the choices I make have repercussions both far reaching and unpredictable.
Some realizations show you yourself in a brand new light. Like the fact that I use posessions and wasting time online and with games to fill the gaping hole loneliness leaves. Or that I can actually become a buffer, smarter, sexier version of me who actually has women responding to me without immediate classification as a geek.
And some things you knew all along. Like that God is my only true refuge, companion, and guiding light. And that holding him as such makes my life so much more meaningful and liveable. Also, that it is desperatly difficult to hold on to God during times such as these.
Those of you who read this, know that I will always love you and be there for you.
And know that my deepest hope is that this year be the beginning of lives which will grow in fullness and love, experiences both high and low, and togetherness that will last a lifetime.
I don't plan on loosing a single one of you if I can help it.
I love you all,
Goodnight.