fic - coming out (in a way), or why no one should ever listen to bradley james
god, i haven't written fic in FOREVER. sorry! to make up for it, valentine's day stories are totally going to happen - just leave a comment/email me at whenwewereinfinite at gmail dot com, and it will be written! (eventually.)
in an unrelated note, i've been sick since sunday, and while it kind of sucks, GOD STAYING HOME ALL DAY AND WATCHING THE OFFICE AND READING FIC IS SO NICE. tomorrow i will be well, though, and go back to school. cry!
anyway, here is my fic.
title - coming out (in a way), or why no one should ever listen to bradley james
pairing - colin/bradley (or BRADLIN. y/y?)
fandom: merlin rpf
warnings - mentions of sex, rpf, slash, bradley in girls underwear
disclaimer - seriously, how many ways are there to say "these are lies, i am a filthy person, don't sue"? well for the record, all of that is true, and this is not. at all.
a/n: for tigger_01 , because i never finished her bradley/angel, and voldything , because this post made me write/actually finish it.
summary: why you should never, ever, ever agree to play truth or dare with the merlin cast. alternatively, one way that bradley and colin could come out.
The fact that it was three in the morning and Colin Morgan was listening to Angel, complete with a lot of cursing, singing an opera version of "Material Girl" while taking her shirt off in the hotel hallway, was, like most things in his life, all Bradley's fault. It had been a long day of filming for all of them, and instead of just watching weird TV with Colin until they fell asleep (or had enough sex that they were exhausted), Bradley had whined until Katie and Angel had agreed to get lots of beer and play truth or dare. Colin had tried to appeal to Anthony, but he just laughed and demanded to be able to watch.
Colin was sure that when his mother had sent him off to acting school, a future of watching drunk people strip in public places was not what she imagined. He hadn't imagined it, either.
Bradley decreed that Angel had stripped for long enough, and that it was her turn to dare someone now. Angel smiled and said, "Katie, truth or dare?"
Katie, who had an amazing ability to simultaneously be totally drunk and also completely terrifying, answered, "Truth, of course."
Bradley shouted, "WHO DO YOU LI-IIKE?" but Katie and Angel ignored him, except for Katie's Death Glare.
"Soo, Katie, I've noticed a small, furry ball of fluff in your room a few times. Could that be, possibly, a tiger stuffed animal? And if so, what's its name?"
Colin watched, fascinated, as Katie blushed. He had thought it was actually impossible to make Katie embarrassed, and was fairly sure it was a sign of the Apocalypse. Luckily, life got back to normal quickly as Katie looked at Angel and said, "You will die."
"THAT'S NOT A NO!" Bradley exclaimed. Colin thought he should really know better than letting Bradley get drunk, but how could he stop him? Bradley was a wanna-be footballer with a build for it, and Colin was skinny enough to fit into girls' clothing better than mens. It certainly had nothing to do with how Bradley's hands strayed farther from polite places each time Colin tried to take his drink, and Colin had to focus (with limited success) all his attention on remembering how to breathe when Bradley did that.
Angel took a deep breath and said, "I cannot believe that I'm actually saying this, but, something is wrong with the world, and Bradley is right."
After hearing that, Bradley did a victory dance around the room. Colin had an urgent need to adjust his pants. Because, you know, they were the wrong size. Especially in one area. Really, who made such bad jeans?
Anthony looked up from celebrating beating a level on his DS and said, "Oh, you mean Mr. Snufflepaws? Yeah, Katie, I really like that tiger. I totally sympathize with how you can't go to sleep without him." Colin generously refrained from laughing until Katie had managed at least one kick at Anthony, and it wasn't because she scared him. Bradley froze in place (literally, one leg was still up, and his hands were above his head) and looked like he had just won a pony, and also seen the light of God.
"Wait, seriously?" Bradley asked. "Oh my god, Katie, you are such a dork." Colin really, really despaired of ever having any anniversaries with his boyfriend, because Bradley would be dead in a week, if not sooner.
A swift kick in the shins with a stiletto heel (and how Katie managed to walk in stilettos while being totally trashed was something that Colin would never, ever understand) was Katie's first reply, and then, "Hey Bradley - I have a question for you. If you could pick one male cast member to have sex with, who would it be?"
Colin looked up, astonished and mortified, and Katie continued to wear her I-am-pissed-off-and-Bradley-James-will-suffer look, which, come to think of it, she wore rather a lot.
Bradley, however, wasn't fazed. "Santiago, of course," he answered, not seeing anything wrong with saying that right in front of his boyfriend and three people who did not know about their relationship or Bradley's gayness.
"Wha-what?" Colin blubbered out, barely restraining himself from screaming, "I AM YOUR BOYFRIEND. DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS? I HATE YOU AND AM NEVER SUCKING YOUR COCK AGAIN. EVER."
Bradley, because he was a master of subtlety, especially when he was drunk, leaned over to Colin and whispered (or that was the intention, Colin assumed. It actually was about the volume of a fairly loud voice), "Don't worry, Cols. I'd rather sleep with you, I swear. OH WAIT, I AM. AND IT'S AWESOME. I'M JUST SAYING SANTIAGO SO THAT THEY DON'T KNOW AND ALSO BECAUSE HE IS REALLY HOT, THOUGH NOT AS HOT AS YOU OF COURSE." Bradley didn't seem to actually believe in ideas like "not-being-completely-obvious" in general, but this was one of his worse moments. The only time that Colin could think of that was worse was the one where a very sleep-deprived and probably drunk Bradley had decided to give Colin a lapdance. In front of half of the crew, a director's assistant, and the producer's wife, who was visiting for the day.
Mortification couldn't really cover how Colin was feeling, but looking around the circle, he noticed that no one looked shocked. Or even, honestly, surprised at all. Katie appeared to be pretty delighted, but, at the same time, very scary, Angel was sighing loudly and rolling her eyes a bit, and Anthony was completely consumed with his game. "You guys, um, Bradley just outed us. Aren't you, you know, surprised? Immediately texting the entire crew?"
"Sweetie, I know that you thought that you guys were being subtle with your whole secret-epic-star-crossed love, but you really weren't. Everyone knew at least three months ago," Angel replied sympathetically. "Most of the costume people have running bets on how long it'll be before they walk in on you guys having sex. The betting is pretty heavily on three days, but some say that two is a stretch."
Colin looked appropriately embarrassed, and tried his hardest to formulate a witty, quick response. What came out instead, after about twenty seconds, was, "But we just started dating last week!"
Angel looked at him. "Honestly, Colin, you really don't have to lie anymore. It's really okay, we all accept you, and besides, it's really hot. Would you mind telling me who tops?"
That was approximately the time that Colin started drinking, with the intention of forgetting all conversation around him.
* * *
The next morning Colin woke up to the sound of someone pounding on Bradley's door, shouting something in French that he couldn't really understand, but sounded ominous.
When he took stock of himself, he discovered that someone was deciding to jackhammer in his skull, that he was lying stretched out on a floor, with Bradley as his pillow, and there seemed to be the words "I AM FUCKING BRADLEY JAMES, AND IT'S AWESOME," engraved on his chest in permanent marker. Colin decided that he really, really did not ever want to know what went on last night.
He reconsidered that thought when he opened his eyes fully and discovered the sight of Bradley wearing nothing but what appeared to be a matching bra and panty set, and also thigh-highs. He hoped fervently that someone had taken pictures, and that he could get a copy.
To humiliate Bradley, of course. And obviously not for any reasons involving how hot he looked in them.
Bradley finally opened his eyes and looked down, not looking too concerned about his attire. Smiling lazily, he asked Angel, who was standing and stretching a few feet away, "So, I guess last night was fun, yeah?"
"Fuck yes." she said, beamed back. "Plus, your guys' description of sex is really hot. Who knew there where that many positions? Or kinks? Or that you could do that with Merlin's neckerchief?"
As Colin was considering any way he could kill himself in the hotel room, there was a loud bang on the door, and Anthony shouted, "Where is my bloody DS, Bradley? I know I had it last night, don't lie to me!"
Bradley turned red and looked very, very guilty. Angel barely restrained laughter, and Katie, lying on Bradley bed, somehow still with perfect hair and makeup, answered calmly, "Anthony - the door's open. Why don't you come inside and look for it?"
in an unrelated note, i've been sick since sunday, and while it kind of sucks, GOD STAYING HOME ALL DAY AND WATCHING THE OFFICE AND READING FIC IS SO NICE. tomorrow i will be well, though, and go back to school. cry!
anyway, here is my fic.
title - coming out (in a way), or why no one should ever listen to bradley james
pairing - colin/bradley (or BRADLIN. y/y?)
fandom: merlin rpf
warnings - mentions of sex, rpf, slash, bradley in girls underwear
disclaimer - seriously, how many ways are there to say "these are lies, i am a filthy person, don't sue"? well for the record, all of that is true, and this is not. at all.
a/n: for tigger_01 , because i never finished her bradley/angel, and voldything , because this post made me write/actually finish it.
summary: why you should never, ever, ever agree to play truth or dare with the merlin cast. alternatively, one way that bradley and colin could come out.
The fact that it was three in the morning and Colin Morgan was listening to Angel, complete with a lot of cursing, singing an opera version of "Material Girl" while taking her shirt off in the hotel hallway, was, like most things in his life, all Bradley's fault. It had been a long day of filming for all of them, and instead of just watching weird TV with Colin until they fell asleep (or had enough sex that they were exhausted), Bradley had whined until Katie and Angel had agreed to get lots of beer and play truth or dare. Colin had tried to appeal to Anthony, but he just laughed and demanded to be able to watch.
Colin was sure that when his mother had sent him off to acting school, a future of watching drunk people strip in public places was not what she imagined. He hadn't imagined it, either.
Bradley decreed that Angel had stripped for long enough, and that it was her turn to dare someone now. Angel smiled and said, "Katie, truth or dare?"
Katie, who had an amazing ability to simultaneously be totally drunk and also completely terrifying, answered, "Truth, of course."
Bradley shouted, "WHO DO YOU LI-IIKE?" but Katie and Angel ignored him, except for Katie's Death Glare.
"Soo, Katie, I've noticed a small, furry ball of fluff in your room a few times. Could that be, possibly, a tiger stuffed animal? And if so, what's its name?"
Colin watched, fascinated, as Katie blushed. He had thought it was actually impossible to make Katie embarrassed, and was fairly sure it was a sign of the Apocalypse. Luckily, life got back to normal quickly as Katie looked at Angel and said, "You will die."
"THAT'S NOT A NO!" Bradley exclaimed. Colin thought he should really know better than letting Bradley get drunk, but how could he stop him? Bradley was a wanna-be footballer with a build for it, and Colin was skinny enough to fit into girls' clothing better than mens. It certainly had nothing to do with how Bradley's hands strayed farther from polite places each time Colin tried to take his drink, and Colin had to focus (with limited success) all his attention on remembering how to breathe when Bradley did that.
Angel took a deep breath and said, "I cannot believe that I'm actually saying this, but, something is wrong with the world, and Bradley is right."
After hearing that, Bradley did a victory dance around the room. Colin had an urgent need to adjust his pants. Because, you know, they were the wrong size. Especially in one area. Really, who made such bad jeans?
Anthony looked up from celebrating beating a level on his DS and said, "Oh, you mean Mr. Snufflepaws? Yeah, Katie, I really like that tiger. I totally sympathize with how you can't go to sleep without him." Colin generously refrained from laughing until Katie had managed at least one kick at Anthony, and it wasn't because she scared him. Bradley froze in place (literally, one leg was still up, and his hands were above his head) and looked like he had just won a pony, and also seen the light of God.
"Wait, seriously?" Bradley asked. "Oh my god, Katie, you are such a dork." Colin really, really despaired of ever having any anniversaries with his boyfriend, because Bradley would be dead in a week, if not sooner.
A swift kick in the shins with a stiletto heel (and how Katie managed to walk in stilettos while being totally trashed was something that Colin would never, ever understand) was Katie's first reply, and then, "Hey Bradley - I have a question for you. If you could pick one male cast member to have sex with, who would it be?"
Colin looked up, astonished and mortified, and Katie continued to wear her I-am-pissed-off-and-Bradley-James-will-suffer look, which, come to think of it, she wore rather a lot.
Bradley, however, wasn't fazed. "Santiago, of course," he answered, not seeing anything wrong with saying that right in front of his boyfriend and three people who did not know about their relationship or Bradley's gayness.
"Wha-what?" Colin blubbered out, barely restraining himself from screaming, "I AM YOUR BOYFRIEND. DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS? I HATE YOU AND AM NEVER SUCKING YOUR COCK AGAIN. EVER."
Bradley, because he was a master of subtlety, especially when he was drunk, leaned over to Colin and whispered (or that was the intention, Colin assumed. It actually was about the volume of a fairly loud voice), "Don't worry, Cols. I'd rather sleep with you, I swear. OH WAIT, I AM. AND IT'S AWESOME. I'M JUST SAYING SANTIAGO SO THAT THEY DON'T KNOW AND ALSO BECAUSE HE IS REALLY HOT, THOUGH NOT AS HOT AS YOU OF COURSE." Bradley didn't seem to actually believe in ideas like "not-being-completely-obvious" in general, but this was one of his worse moments. The only time that Colin could think of that was worse was the one where a very sleep-deprived and probably drunk Bradley had decided to give Colin a lapdance. In front of half of the crew, a director's assistant, and the producer's wife, who was visiting for the day.
Mortification couldn't really cover how Colin was feeling, but looking around the circle, he noticed that no one looked shocked. Or even, honestly, surprised at all. Katie appeared to be pretty delighted, but, at the same time, very scary, Angel was sighing loudly and rolling her eyes a bit, and Anthony was completely consumed with his game. "You guys, um, Bradley just outed us. Aren't you, you know, surprised? Immediately texting the entire crew?"
"Sweetie, I know that you thought that you guys were being subtle with your whole secret-epic-star-crossed love, but you really weren't. Everyone knew at least three months ago," Angel replied sympathetically. "Most of the costume people have running bets on how long it'll be before they walk in on you guys having sex. The betting is pretty heavily on three days, but some say that two is a stretch."
Colin looked appropriately embarrassed, and tried his hardest to formulate a witty, quick response. What came out instead, after about twenty seconds, was, "But we just started dating last week!"
Angel looked at him. "Honestly, Colin, you really don't have to lie anymore. It's really okay, we all accept you, and besides, it's really hot. Would you mind telling me who tops?"
That was approximately the time that Colin started drinking, with the intention of forgetting all conversation around him.
* * *
The next morning Colin woke up to the sound of someone pounding on Bradley's door, shouting something in French that he couldn't really understand, but sounded ominous.
When he took stock of himself, he discovered that someone was deciding to jackhammer in his skull, that he was lying stretched out on a floor, with Bradley as his pillow, and there seemed to be the words "I AM FUCKING BRADLEY JAMES, AND IT'S AWESOME," engraved on his chest in permanent marker. Colin decided that he really, really did not ever want to know what went on last night.
He reconsidered that thought when he opened his eyes fully and discovered the sight of Bradley wearing nothing but what appeared to be a matching bra and panty set, and also thigh-highs. He hoped fervently that someone had taken pictures, and that he could get a copy.
To humiliate Bradley, of course. And obviously not for any reasons involving how hot he looked in them.
Bradley finally opened his eyes and looked down, not looking too concerned about his attire. Smiling lazily, he asked Angel, who was standing and stretching a few feet away, "So, I guess last night was fun, yeah?"
"Fuck yes." she said, beamed back. "Plus, your guys' description of sex is really hot. Who knew there where that many positions? Or kinks? Or that you could do that with Merlin's neckerchief?"
As Colin was considering any way he could kill himself in the hotel room, there was a loud bang on the door, and Anthony shouted, "Where is my bloody DS, Bradley? I know I had it last night, don't lie to me!"
Bradley turned red and looked very, very guilty. Angel barely restrained laughter, and Katie, lying on Bradley bed, somehow still with perfect hair and makeup, answered calmly, "Anthony - the door's open. Why don't you come inside and look for it?"