a year long silenced confusion

[septemberkisses]

wow so i get a call, saying now it's my grandmother in the hospital. she's in intensive care.. of course she is.. a repeat of last summer hello. now i'm not really sure how to deal with this. me and her used to be really close,.. well as close as one can be with thier grandmother i guess, when i was younger. then i grew up, and started to understand the kind of person she is. I don't have a problem with grumpy old people, but what i do have a problem with is people who back stab their own children. that shouldn't be right. but she did it.. to my mom, so clearly i have to be protective. hmmmm. i'm not really sure where these thoughts are going. i guess a decision on whether i should go to london this weekend to see her or not. i haven't talked to her in almost a year. since my grandfather died last august. even then we didn't really talk, it was more like she walked by me. no call from her on christmas, or my birthday. in fact, my mom was supposed to have christmas for all of us at her place, and my grandma decided against it. well.. don't think my aunt didn't have anyhting to do with it. she's the worst one of the family...
my grandfather used to say it too.. "linda's alot like madeline"...or "linda's not right inside"... no shit.
i'm so confused. how many tears should i be shedding over this?