could this be it, the feeling i've been looking for?
Saturday.
woke up saturday before my mom. went to the store and bought three packs of cigarettes. one for me. two for her. started cleaning the house. did the dishes. mom woke up while i was cleaning the bathroom. asked if the only reason i was cleaning was so that i could use the car. i told her it wasnt the only one. the house was getting nasty. she laughed. while doing the dishes she said i could go. we sat around and watched MTV's 70's house. the red head girl is cute. i think her name was sarah. could be wrong. mom wanted food so i went to the store and bought some shells and cheese, chips and dip, a two liter and some candy. she saw what i bought and was like..."ohhhh...comfort food. good job." made the shells and cheese. went and layed down in bed with her after eating. she freaks out in her sleep. she kinda talks. and twitches kinda. i dont know...its weird. she slept for a bit. woke up and wanted to take me shopping for cruise clothes. she actually let me drive there. i was waiting for her in the car while she was finding her purse and she walked up to the passanger door and i was like..."ummm...you really want me to drive." totally floored me. i did good though. went to the gap and bought a few pairs of shorts, a really killer pair of pants and a shirt or two. met connie and callie there. connie needed an opinion on a dress. drove them around to the stores they wanted to go. it was getting close to seven thirty and i still needed to get ready for the night. finally they were done. drove home. with my mom in the backseat. it was like i was her limo drive. it was funny. got home. i ran around the house. got my shit together. drove to fowlerville. called peter to see where he was. he had just got off the exit. told him i was parking in the lot behind save-on. waited a while. he passed it or something. car pulled up next to mine.
"made sure he wasn't a creepy trucker".
went to wal-mart to get my ladies' baseball bat. wal-mart didnt have any. went to meijers to get my ladies' baseball bat. meijers didnt have any. i guess baseball bats are a fucking seasonal thing. weird. but really, who plays baseball in september. apparently nobody. bought them a golf club instead. i figured it could do the same ammount of damage to an intruder, if not more. finally got on the expressway. passed to 23 onramp. had to turn around. passed a van that had a flip down tv screen. tried to figure out what they were watching. had no success. got on 23. peter looked through my cd's and asked what i wanted to listen to. i said i didnt care and he picked a burned one that had "a little bit of everthing 2" written on it. "a little bit of everything 1" went missing after that weekend in mackinaw with kyle, kendahl, mike, amber, and kim the fucking psycho. i wonder where it is. kyle might have it. who knows.
peter pointed out that the cd had a theme after hearing a few tracks. i had never noticed it, but it did.
Joan Osbourne. Mariah. Frou Frou. ect. ect. ect. all singing about waiting, wanting, needing, wishing for some lovin'. ironic, i know. made me laugh a bit.
got off the expressway at geddes. passed the apartment. had to turn around in another apartment complex driveway, but not before we saw a homeless person. peter told a story about how he was once harrassed by a homeless guy with no legs. i thought it was funny. homeless people scare the shit out of me. me and my dad once had a conversation about why they are so crazy. we came to the conclusion that they are all crazy because they have nothing to their name. they have nothing to lose. the worst thing that could happen to them is that they get killed, which really wouldnt be a bad thing when living on the street.
got to sara and heidi's apartment. heidi and autumn walked out while i was looking for my phone to call them to see what apartment number they were in. introduced peter to the girls. i dont really know where they went after that. buzzed the room. they let us in. found the door to their place. knocked. hugged sara. introduced peter to sara and others. he gave her the golf club. she looked at me like "what the fuck?" i explained the baseball bat dilemma. she agreed it was a good idea. gotta keep my girls safe. met annemarie and david, heidi's cousin and friend. didnt really get a chance to talk to david a lot. annemarie seemed cool, could get on my nevrves, but not a total annoyance. overall she's a preety sweet bitch. said hi to joey, autumn, jess, chris, laura, amanda and bobby.
threw our shit in their closet. got a tour. started drinking. took some shots. made myself and peter a maui shnapps with sprite. pretty good. talked to amamnda and bobby for a while. talked to laura. took some pictures. walked in on a convo heidi and peter were having. i guess i had thought that because i had told sara about him that heidi had known. explained the whole story.
"...december."
"no, more like february."
took some more shots. for my first time drinking it, the whiskey was preety good. did its job. fast.
went out and smoked with peter, jayson, sara, and amanda. maybe jayson stayed inside. i can't remember.
had to walk around to the front door. threw a backhandspring. let peter show me up with his one handed round off. i dont think i could do a one handed backspring if i tried. amanda commented that she thinks gay guys are cute because they can do anything with a cigarette in their hand. mine was in my mouth when i backhandpringed. i think peter's was in his hand. i don't really remember.
went back in. decided to play catchphrase later. kept calling it scattergories all night. went back out to smoke. crys, her bf, who's name i can't remember, and andy mcdowells older sister katie arrived. chilled outside for a while. took some pictures. talked about books i had never heard of. On the Way Down, need to pick that one up sometimes. katie was telling us about it. sounded good. went back in. played catchphrase which i had never played before. damn, my team was good. and yeah, im competitive, so i was screaming. at one point i think i told crys to "say the fucking answer you fucking bitch." i noticed that sara and i, and sara and jayson were good at guessing what the other was describing. it comes with all the years i guess. peter was good too. heidi did ok. annemarie kinda stunk. she was on the other team. the other team just blew. blew major ass. we beat them both games.
me: "ISHOOTWATEROUTOFMYHEAD!"
sara: "WHALE!"
someone: "how the hell did you get that right?"
me: "I'MTHEPERSONONTHECOVER...shit..i said cover."
peter: "covergirl!"
(point, sadly, did not count.)
me: "um..i take care of these flying bugs. they fly and sting. i have to wear a suit."
heidi: "scabbies!"
me: "you fucking bitch. you had to bring that up."
god. that game was fun. i need to play it more. a lot more.
amanda and bobby left. crys, her boyfriend, and katie left. decided to go to the gas station. passed a lot of fucking cops. like four cars worth. put my sober face on. got to the gas station. jess didnt have her I.D. so i couldnt get my 40's. not a totally bad thing, seeing as how peter and i found a fucking pitcher full of fresh beer just chilling there on the sidewalk outside the apartment on the way back. and yeah, we totally swiped it. he kinda just ran with it. i saw some boys looking for it when i got to the apartment complex door. sorry, finders keepers, losers weepers. i guess the girls have a pitcher now for their apartment.
went inside. drank the free beer. chilled. danced. took some more pictures. blah blah blah. went outside with sara, jayson, jess, and peter to smoke. finished my hundredth smoke of the night. then we started making out. it was bound to happen. we were brushing up against eachother all night. getting really close. kissing necks and whatnot. i think i just ended up pinning him up agains the wall outside. what felt like an hour after jayson turned around and noticed. "oh, they are making out, right there, they are making out." we kept on making out. they got up and went back inside. we made out somemore. it was intense. perfect night time make out session. good example of what a drunk first kiss should be modeled after. we chilled on the making out. sat down. asked him if he was having fun. we went pee by the fence and i needed to use the lighter, which he threw and lost the case thing. no hope in finding it. it was too dark. i could barely see straight any way.
sat back down. talked somemore. he spilt his cup of water all over the both of us. i laughed. it was funny. went inside. changed. tried leaving the bedroom in just a sweatshirt and my underwear. sara met me at the end of the hall with a "no.no.no." went back into the bedroom. let peter wear my shorts b/c he didnt have anything to sleep in leaving me nothing to sleep in. ganked an awesome pair of heidi's shorts with the parisian metro map on them. good luck getting those back. ended up drinking a bit more. peter went to bed, and i wasnt too far behind him after my last cigarette of the night. went out with jayson, chris, sara, and jess. talked about shit. i don't even remember. went back in. layed down with peter. it was nice to cuddle someone again. i forgot that feeling. and i don't want to forget it anymore.
sleeping on that goddamn floor was soooo uncomfortable. a bed would have really been nice. i woke up and my hip has hurt all day since. i know, im an old man.
we packed our shit and said our goodbye. realized i forgot my wallet at the apartment and had to go back, but not before i almost gave peter a heart attack by running a red light accidently. im telling you, i suck at driving. it isnt one of my strong suits.
met everyone outside the apartment and they had my wallet. started the real drive back. it was really nice. it was just a compatible silence. comfortable. one hand on the wheel. one hand in his. windows down. listening to some radio, then joss stone. it was real mellow. he had his sunglasses on and his hand out the window. it was just really nice. one of the speakers at my a few years ago graduation told a story about how we should take more mental pictures, save moments in our mind. even though i hated that bitch, the message of the speech was actually a good one. and thats what i did. i saved that moment, for it was a good moment to save. i dropped him off at his car, got out the book i was letting him read. he gave me the book he was letting me read. told me to get into his car. it was really hot in there. rolled the windows down. i think he had rufus playing. i could be mistaken. and then he leaned in. i wish it would have been for longer. i wish the whole night would have been longer. i wish it didn't have to end. and in no way was this first meeting a typical cut and dry fairytale series of events. i didnt want that. i like a bit of akwardness. acting like fumbling pre-teens. feeling nervous. it all comes with the package. but in the end it felt like one. it felt like a fairytale.
i got home. slept for a few hours. went to work and was all smile because i had the whole night to replay in my head. on one of my breaks i called sara. asked what she thought. she said he was really nice. called him a keeper. said he was the best boy i had brought home yet. that john #1 was just creepy, john #2 didnt know what hell he wanted, and that enoch was "way too gay for me." heidi said he was just as cool at casey, ryan hartigans ex. that meant a lot. heidi and sara fell in love with casey when they met him during that spring break they went out to visit ryan in california. held him to the highest regards ever since they met. it was nice having their acceptance. sara said to go for it. and i think i'm going to. fuck, i'm preety damn sure i'm going to. i haven't had that much fun with someone in a while. i just wanted to be by him. have him around. the goodbye was harder than i thought it was going to be. but the thing is, i know there will be more hello's. i know it.
woke up saturday before my mom. went to the store and bought three packs of cigarettes. one for me. two for her. started cleaning the house. did the dishes. mom woke up while i was cleaning the bathroom. asked if the only reason i was cleaning was so that i could use the car. i told her it wasnt the only one. the house was getting nasty. she laughed. while doing the dishes she said i could go. we sat around and watched MTV's 70's house. the red head girl is cute. i think her name was sarah. could be wrong. mom wanted food so i went to the store and bought some shells and cheese, chips and dip, a two liter and some candy. she saw what i bought and was like..."ohhhh...comfort food. good job." made the shells and cheese. went and layed down in bed with her after eating. she freaks out in her sleep. she kinda talks. and twitches kinda. i dont know...its weird. she slept for a bit. woke up and wanted to take me shopping for cruise clothes. she actually let me drive there. i was waiting for her in the car while she was finding her purse and she walked up to the passanger door and i was like..."ummm...you really want me to drive." totally floored me. i did good though. went to the gap and bought a few pairs of shorts, a really killer pair of pants and a shirt or two. met connie and callie there. connie needed an opinion on a dress. drove them around to the stores they wanted to go. it was getting close to seven thirty and i still needed to get ready for the night. finally they were done. drove home. with my mom in the backseat. it was like i was her limo drive. it was funny. got home. i ran around the house. got my shit together. drove to fowlerville. called peter to see where he was. he had just got off the exit. told him i was parking in the lot behind save-on. waited a while. he passed it or something. car pulled up next to mine.
"made sure he wasn't a creepy trucker".
went to wal-mart to get my ladies' baseball bat. wal-mart didnt have any. went to meijers to get my ladies' baseball bat. meijers didnt have any. i guess baseball bats are a fucking seasonal thing. weird. but really, who plays baseball in september. apparently nobody. bought them a golf club instead. i figured it could do the same ammount of damage to an intruder, if not more. finally got on the expressway. passed to 23 onramp. had to turn around. passed a van that had a flip down tv screen. tried to figure out what they were watching. had no success. got on 23. peter looked through my cd's and asked what i wanted to listen to. i said i didnt care and he picked a burned one that had "a little bit of everthing 2" written on it. "a little bit of everything 1" went missing after that weekend in mackinaw with kyle, kendahl, mike, amber, and kim the fucking psycho. i wonder where it is. kyle might have it. who knows.
peter pointed out that the cd had a theme after hearing a few tracks. i had never noticed it, but it did.
Joan Osbourne. Mariah. Frou Frou. ect. ect. ect. all singing about waiting, wanting, needing, wishing for some lovin'. ironic, i know. made me laugh a bit.
got off the expressway at geddes. passed the apartment. had to turn around in another apartment complex driveway, but not before we saw a homeless person. peter told a story about how he was once harrassed by a homeless guy with no legs. i thought it was funny. homeless people scare the shit out of me. me and my dad once had a conversation about why they are so crazy. we came to the conclusion that they are all crazy because they have nothing to their name. they have nothing to lose. the worst thing that could happen to them is that they get killed, which really wouldnt be a bad thing when living on the street.
got to sara and heidi's apartment. heidi and autumn walked out while i was looking for my phone to call them to see what apartment number they were in. introduced peter to the girls. i dont really know where they went after that. buzzed the room. they let us in. found the door to their place. knocked. hugged sara. introduced peter to sara and others. he gave her the golf club. she looked at me like "what the fuck?" i explained the baseball bat dilemma. she agreed it was a good idea. gotta keep my girls safe. met annemarie and david, heidi's cousin and friend. didnt really get a chance to talk to david a lot. annemarie seemed cool, could get on my nevrves, but not a total annoyance. overall she's a preety sweet bitch. said hi to joey, autumn, jess, chris, laura, amanda and bobby.
threw our shit in their closet. got a tour. started drinking. took some shots. made myself and peter a maui shnapps with sprite. pretty good. talked to amamnda and bobby for a while. talked to laura. took some pictures. walked in on a convo heidi and peter were having. i guess i had thought that because i had told sara about him that heidi had known. explained the whole story.
"...december."
"no, more like february."
took some more shots. for my first time drinking it, the whiskey was preety good. did its job. fast.
went out and smoked with peter, jayson, sara, and amanda. maybe jayson stayed inside. i can't remember.
had to walk around to the front door. threw a backhandspring. let peter show me up with his one handed round off. i dont think i could do a one handed backspring if i tried. amanda commented that she thinks gay guys are cute because they can do anything with a cigarette in their hand. mine was in my mouth when i backhandpringed. i think peter's was in his hand. i don't really remember.
went back in. decided to play catchphrase later. kept calling it scattergories all night. went back out to smoke. crys, her bf, who's name i can't remember, and andy mcdowells older sister katie arrived. chilled outside for a while. took some pictures. talked about books i had never heard of. On the Way Down, need to pick that one up sometimes. katie was telling us about it. sounded good. went back in. played catchphrase which i had never played before. damn, my team was good. and yeah, im competitive, so i was screaming. at one point i think i told crys to "say the fucking answer you fucking bitch." i noticed that sara and i, and sara and jayson were good at guessing what the other was describing. it comes with all the years i guess. peter was good too. heidi did ok. annemarie kinda stunk. she was on the other team. the other team just blew. blew major ass. we beat them both games.
me: "ISHOOTWATEROUTOFMYHEAD!"
sara: "WHALE!"
someone: "how the hell did you get that right?"
me: "I'MTHEPERSONONTHECOVER...shit..i said cover."
peter: "covergirl!"
(point, sadly, did not count.)
me: "um..i take care of these flying bugs. they fly and sting. i have to wear a suit."
heidi: "scabbies!"
me: "you fucking bitch. you had to bring that up."
god. that game was fun. i need to play it more. a lot more.
amanda and bobby left. crys, her boyfriend, and katie left. decided to go to the gas station. passed a lot of fucking cops. like four cars worth. put my sober face on. got to the gas station. jess didnt have her I.D. so i couldnt get my 40's. not a totally bad thing, seeing as how peter and i found a fucking pitcher full of fresh beer just chilling there on the sidewalk outside the apartment on the way back. and yeah, we totally swiped it. he kinda just ran with it. i saw some boys looking for it when i got to the apartment complex door. sorry, finders keepers, losers weepers. i guess the girls have a pitcher now for their apartment.
went inside. drank the free beer. chilled. danced. took some more pictures. blah blah blah. went outside with sara, jayson, jess, and peter to smoke. finished my hundredth smoke of the night. then we started making out. it was bound to happen. we were brushing up against eachother all night. getting really close. kissing necks and whatnot. i think i just ended up pinning him up agains the wall outside. what felt like an hour after jayson turned around and noticed. "oh, they are making out, right there, they are making out." we kept on making out. they got up and went back inside. we made out somemore. it was intense. perfect night time make out session. good example of what a drunk first kiss should be modeled after. we chilled on the making out. sat down. asked him if he was having fun. we went pee by the fence and i needed to use the lighter, which he threw and lost the case thing. no hope in finding it. it was too dark. i could barely see straight any way.
sat back down. talked somemore. he spilt his cup of water all over the both of us. i laughed. it was funny. went inside. changed. tried leaving the bedroom in just a sweatshirt and my underwear. sara met me at the end of the hall with a "no.no.no." went back into the bedroom. let peter wear my shorts b/c he didnt have anything to sleep in leaving me nothing to sleep in. ganked an awesome pair of heidi's shorts with the parisian metro map on them. good luck getting those back. ended up drinking a bit more. peter went to bed, and i wasnt too far behind him after my last cigarette of the night. went out with jayson, chris, sara, and jess. talked about shit. i don't even remember. went back in. layed down with peter. it was nice to cuddle someone again. i forgot that feeling. and i don't want to forget it anymore.
sleeping on that goddamn floor was soooo uncomfortable. a bed would have really been nice. i woke up and my hip has hurt all day since. i know, im an old man.
we packed our shit and said our goodbye. realized i forgot my wallet at the apartment and had to go back, but not before i almost gave peter a heart attack by running a red light accidently. im telling you, i suck at driving. it isnt one of my strong suits.
met everyone outside the apartment and they had my wallet. started the real drive back. it was really nice. it was just a compatible silence. comfortable. one hand on the wheel. one hand in his. windows down. listening to some radio, then joss stone. it was real mellow. he had his sunglasses on and his hand out the window. it was just really nice. one of the speakers at my a few years ago graduation told a story about how we should take more mental pictures, save moments in our mind. even though i hated that bitch, the message of the speech was actually a good one. and thats what i did. i saved that moment, for it was a good moment to save. i dropped him off at his car, got out the book i was letting him read. he gave me the book he was letting me read. told me to get into his car. it was really hot in there. rolled the windows down. i think he had rufus playing. i could be mistaken. and then he leaned in. i wish it would have been for longer. i wish the whole night would have been longer. i wish it didn't have to end. and in no way was this first meeting a typical cut and dry fairytale series of events. i didnt want that. i like a bit of akwardness. acting like fumbling pre-teens. feeling nervous. it all comes with the package. but in the end it felt like one. it felt like a fairytale.
i got home. slept for a few hours. went to work and was all smile because i had the whole night to replay in my head. on one of my breaks i called sara. asked what she thought. she said he was really nice. called him a keeper. said he was the best boy i had brought home yet. that john #1 was just creepy, john #2 didnt know what hell he wanted, and that enoch was "way too gay for me." heidi said he was just as cool at casey, ryan hartigans ex. that meant a lot. heidi and sara fell in love with casey when they met him during that spring break they went out to visit ryan in california. held him to the highest regards ever since they met. it was nice having their acceptance. sara said to go for it. and i think i'm going to. fuck, i'm preety damn sure i'm going to. i haven't had that much fun with someone in a while. i just wanted to be by him. have him around. the goodbye was harder than i thought it was going to be. but the thing is, i know there will be more hello's. i know it.