(no subject)
I can't sleep. I'm reading other people's lives like it will make me feel better. I hate being at odds with someone. I just want everything to be ok. Nothing is fine, though.
He didn't call me at all. I fear the worst, I don't even know how to hope for the best.
How many years this time, whatever is left?
It's the least of my concerns, but still, why is it the first person I think of when I'm feeling bad?
If I call him, he will make me feel worse, not better.
Hate myself today, hate myself tomorrow. Punish myself tomorrow, feed the id today.
Tomorrow is when I start pretending that everything is all better.
Tonight I'll let myself collapse.
I'm so tired, and I can't sleep.
He didn't call me at all. I fear the worst, I don't even know how to hope for the best.
How many years this time, whatever is left?
It's the least of my concerns, but still, why is it the first person I think of when I'm feeling bad?
If I call him, he will make me feel worse, not better.
Hate myself today, hate myself tomorrow. Punish myself tomorrow, feed the id today.
Tomorrow is when I start pretending that everything is all better.
Tonight I'll let myself collapse.
I'm so tired, and I can't sleep.