IMPORTANT NEWS FLASH
you guys all need to go to www.sentence-game.com and get accounts! it's the best, nerdiest way to waste time possible! i can't believe how good some of these are. examples to follow:
"There was a young man called Boris Johnson, liberal thinker and champion of the hard helment self-grating competition. The spindles of the self-grating gradation monitor suddenly snapped. His testicles, almost completely severed began an impressive jazz flute solo undermining her attempt to look sexy in flared underpants."
"Alan began to spread mustard on his knees for the third time today. I was doing well, since I had eaten more polos than was recommended on the packaging. How many would it take to put reebok shoes on every pigeon in the entire world. Do you know the answer to that? I thought not infact youre probably the type to make 150 cups of chamomile tea a day, talk about your bowel movements, do ashtanga Yoga, have comfort breaks, Go find yourself at a buddhist retreat and then stay there untill everyone shuts the fuck up. Silence is golden and that explains why I am the king of the world and you are all my subjects. At this, Barbara Streisand got into her solid gold body cast and bedded down for the night. What a lovely lady. By HER ALBUM BUY HER ALBUM "War child" VERY MOVING VERY POLITICAL - VERY YOU!"
"The following events are based on factual and thoroughly documented events: June the 23rd 2005 at approximately 4:04 am a man was seen carrying a large metalic bowl into a hospital. He later explained that he had only inserted the Taiwanese midget in that particular orifice because it usually resulted in a 'knuckle sandwich'. As we all know brutal violence solves nothing and this particular situation was no different. Blood seeped onto the ground and a passing dog stopped to cough politely then wipe its mouth with a monogrammed hankie (available from Scotts of Stow (£9.99 up to 3 initials) It was not your ordinary canine, as it was actually the dog child lover of Macaulay Culkin, who had never recovered from the su danese beetle attack. Man, those things will fuck you up! I battled them bastards for weeks on end, only to find that I'm related to them. They even send cards at holiday time. That's family for you!"
i'd post more, but only if i could remember how to to LJ cuts (which i can't.)
"There was a young man called Boris Johnson, liberal thinker and champion of the hard helment self-grating competition. The spindles of the self-grating gradation monitor suddenly snapped. His testicles, almost completely severed began an impressive jazz flute solo undermining her attempt to look sexy in flared underpants."
"Alan began to spread mustard on his knees for the third time today. I was doing well, since I had eaten more polos than was recommended on the packaging. How many would it take to put reebok shoes on every pigeon in the entire world. Do you know the answer to that? I thought not infact youre probably the type to make 150 cups of chamomile tea a day, talk about your bowel movements, do ashtanga Yoga, have comfort breaks, Go find yourself at a buddhist retreat and then stay there untill everyone shuts the fuck up. Silence is golden and that explains why I am the king of the world and you are all my subjects. At this, Barbara Streisand got into her solid gold body cast and bedded down for the night. What a lovely lady. By HER ALBUM BUY HER ALBUM "War child" VERY MOVING VERY POLITICAL - VERY YOU!"
"The following events are based on factual and thoroughly documented events: June the 23rd 2005 at approximately 4:04 am a man was seen carrying a large metalic bowl into a hospital. He later explained that he had only inserted the Taiwanese midget in that particular orifice because it usually resulted in a 'knuckle sandwich'. As we all know brutal violence solves nothing and this particular situation was no different. Blood seeped onto the ground and a passing dog stopped to cough politely then wipe its mouth with a monogrammed hankie (available from Scotts of Stow (£9.99 up to 3 initials) It was not your ordinary canine, as it was actually the dog child lover of Macaulay Culkin, who had never recovered from the su danese beetle attack. Man, those things will fuck you up! I battled them bastards for weeks on end, only to find that I'm related to them. They even send cards at holiday time. That's family for you!"
i'd post more, but only if i could remember how to to LJ cuts (which i can't.)