Alive, coping, but not well
Yes, I'm still amongst the living. Much has happened since I wrote last. I had an MRI done on my spine in the hopes that I would finally, FINALLY be given a diagnosis on what the hell is wrong with me. So much for modern science. According to my report, my spine is "unremarkable." I kid you not! That is what it says all over the report: "bone marrow is unremarkable; conus medullaris...is unremarkable; visualized intervertebral disc spaces are unremarkable; etc..
I get the bloody point all ready!
Needless to say I was devastated at the news. Strange emotion to be feeling, eh? Here is a report telling me that my spine is healthy, and instead of being elated, I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. It's my own fault for pinning my hopes so high on the outcome of the MRI. I was sure that it would show something, anything that would explain why I'm in so much pain, why I lose feeling in my hands and left arm, why the skin around my back and ribs is so sensitive to the slightest stimuli that you can't touch me. I've been living like this since December, and I think I've been more than patient with the medical community, but I'm at the end of my rope and the strands are starting to fray.
There is some hope. I have an appointment at a pain management clinic. A friend of mine who has Lupus recommended the doctor to me. He's supposed to be one of the best in Ontario. I guess we'll find out tomorrow afternoon.
But all is not gloom and doom! The results of the Ukeroth contest came in and I won 1st place! Talk about a jaw-dropper! I'm still stunned.
Agh! I have to cut this short. Real life is calling. Will write more soon!
I get the bloody point all ready!
Needless to say I was devastated at the news. Strange emotion to be feeling, eh? Here is a report telling me that my spine is healthy, and instead of being elated, I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. It's my own fault for pinning my hopes so high on the outcome of the MRI. I was sure that it would show something, anything that would explain why I'm in so much pain, why I lose feeling in my hands and left arm, why the skin around my back and ribs is so sensitive to the slightest stimuli that you can't touch me. I've been living like this since December, and I think I've been more than patient with the medical community, but I'm at the end of my rope and the strands are starting to fray.
There is some hope. I have an appointment at a pain management clinic. A friend of mine who has Lupus recommended the doctor to me. He's supposed to be one of the best in Ontario. I guess we'll find out tomorrow afternoon.
But all is not gloom and doom! The results of the Ukeroth contest came in and I won 1st place! Talk about a jaw-dropper! I'm still stunned.
Agh! I have to cut this short. Real life is calling. Will write more soon!