confusion

[sephrynsnowcat]

is it normal?
should i feel such turmoil?
i want to cry and scream
i want to hug you
i want to hold and never let go
i want to run and never come back
your hurt makes me hurt
i want to tear my heart out and never feel such pain again
but  then i would never feel the joy you bring..
the rush  of happiness at the sight of your face..
the flush of  blood through my veins at your voice
the chills  down my spine at  your touch
and the warmth  in your eyes.
love that is sweet and bitter and warm and hard..
nothing else exists in your presence
all i want is to  be a part of you when you are near
i want to hold you to myself and meld
is this normal?
will i ever be able to  just BE when i am with you?
will i always be consumed?
im afraid maybe i'll never  be able to  tether tot he real world again
maybe i'll float off and never come back down..
i cant see the future..
but i worry
what will happen when time passes and this does not fade..
you.. you will go on i suspect..
but i.. i will be  broken
will this fade?
i hope it does..
someday i will no longer be so intoxicated by you that i am drunk
someday i might be able to stay foucused on  real life near you..
but if i cant...
what then?