to whom this concerns
well came home from camping with suprisingly little burn and hemp all over me.... hehe me and melissa got a little crazy with the hemp making a crap load of braclets and neklaces. Tiffany is so pretty i as so shocked to see her it was great seeing her agian. it was some bonding time. Well its a shame that leena had to miss it but thats o.k cause were gonna go next year and have a girls night thing or something similar. That way we can drive up ourselves and just get slammed for those who want to hint hint Mari and Shana. I'm gonna be so lost without you two next year what am i gonna do? crys to self. Well mark if your reading this YOUR NEVER FUCKING ON AIM BITCH! o.k now that, that is done. Hmmm. So bored The reviving ophelia book came in im stupid and bought it cause im asian like that. It seems really interesting in how girls confrom to how we think others want to see us. Watch by the end of the year im gonna be all crazy and analysing everything cause im gonna be a bitch like that. Crazy shit..... Oh yeah, freaking next year im gonna die from all the classes im taking. So when you see me one day at school with a gun and a bong in my other hand dont worry its just my nervous breakdown. Well im really sad i missed Ruby's with Marina and whoever else went i seem to always be in the wrong place or time when anything ever happens. I think im just bad luck or that im just stupid and should die of aids in Africa cause that way i'll be helping the economy. Less people is better for the world. I write so much bullhshit and i complain about my fucking boring life as if i need the sympathy as if i need to hear its o.k from other people that i have to rely on someone else to make sure its all gonna be o.k. Im so fucking stupid. I really should die theres so much more going on in the world them my bullshit and why i have to broadcast my non-existent life i have no idea. Damn im so stupid. All i am is a stupid girl whos to old to run to mommie and daddy and pretend the world is a wholesome place yet to young to do anything about my desires and my thoughts no matter who unrealistic and deranged they are. I hate myself and what i do everyday how i dont care about the news. How i sit at home and do nothing, how i waste my life, how i want to die so badly yet to chicken shit to just slit my own god damn wrists for fear of the pain of what mommie dearest will say. But what will it all matter because i wont hear her words of my stupidity i wont hear anything i'll be in a black body bag with a tag of identification on my big toe. I wont feel, hear, think, dream, want, cry, see, anything i'll be dead. Im so fucking tired of going to sleep crying im so tired of waking up knowing the shit im in the stupid life that's mine. Im so tired of it all. It should just end, it should go away it should be a bad memory or a dream that i can wake up from. But is not its my reality its mine and mine alone. So leena dont tell me you understand that i should think positive or whatever you always say whenever i write shit like this. This is my reality this is my pain this is my desire that i will never feed. How pitiful i am. No love, no hate, no feeling, no life..... Why do i even waste my time why do i waste my time writing in this why do i feel the need to be connected in your lives? Its really not worth the effort.. We honestly dont care for one another we dont really know one another we only see each other smile and wave then move one with our day. We are nothing but stupid shitheads oblivious to what the truth is just like our parents, teachers,government. Fuck you all.