i want.
bon-fire for swim was boring. and amanda cummings was there cause she's sherri's sister. my marriage. i feel icky and tired. well more like shit. i dont want to go to school on monday i want to hide and stay hidden in a dark place where reality cant find me where i can be where ever i want to be without someone saying that i cant. i want to see the ocean as the sun rises i want to feel the sand in my hair as i look up at the sky full of stars full of wonders i will never know. i want silence i want peace of mind i want to be free from all my obligations i want to win a swim race. i want to be able to do what i want without my consious saying no. reminding me that i have to go to orchestra practice or third period. i want to ace the a.p test without a sweat. i want people to go away i want to feel the silence of a room i want all conformity that is never there. i want the world to notice me sutly i want shana to go to swim practice and i want her to be there when she says shes gonna be. i want missy to stay in swim i want death to be accepted for what it is and not something bad and terrrible that we all make it out to be. i want everything the world has to offer and then some. i want to be a good person.
today is a day of thinking its a day that we all notice that we all want and wish for sitting in a classroom waiting for that bell to ring to release you. today is the day that i want everyday and yet never agian at the same time. am i crazy i have no idea am i a spoiled white girl that only wants and wants, taking everything she can and never giving. yes. but then when you really think about it are we not all spoiled at some point? for in the eyes of one less fortunate of one with less then you, you will seem spoiled at what you ask for at christmas and what gifts are given at your birthday party. contradict all you know. hate everything you have been taught and trust nothing untill you cant tell black from white untill the white lines have faded and truth is left the ugly truth of everything we hate. of who we really are. we are born to complain to think to want and take we are an ugly race full of personal goals of constant wanting of accomplishments that foreshadow the devil within us. it is the evil that preludes in our souls yet even that someone will say is wrong for we are all born with opinions with thoughts of doubt.
today is a day of thinking its a day that we all notice that we all want and wish for sitting in a classroom waiting for that bell to ring to release you. today is the day that i want everyday and yet never agian at the same time. am i crazy i have no idea am i a spoiled white girl that only wants and wants, taking everything she can and never giving. yes. but then when you really think about it are we not all spoiled at some point? for in the eyes of one less fortunate of one with less then you, you will seem spoiled at what you ask for at christmas and what gifts are given at your birthday party. contradict all you know. hate everything you have been taught and trust nothing untill you cant tell black from white untill the white lines have faded and truth is left the ugly truth of everything we hate. of who we really are. we are born to complain to think to want and take we are an ugly race full of personal goals of constant wanting of accomplishments that foreshadow the devil within us. it is the evil that preludes in our souls yet even that someone will say is wrong for we are all born with opinions with thoughts of doubt.