(no subject)
hmm.... waterpolo season is about to end and swim is in like a month. the first day of our tournament is over we of course lost both games but we will at least have three more to attempt to win. im tired and should be sleeping cause its ten thirty at night and i have to be at grossmont by eight in the morning. everyone is all drifting apart some girls dont want to play anymore and are waiting for the season to end we still dont listen to each other and pay attention enough to play the game like its suppose to me played. i still have my ap euro homework to do and then pratice for the test in orchestra on tuesday. i think that joel's birthday is on the eleventh of feburaury but im not sure. joel is the novice water polo coach. i feel that everyone around me is childish and not what im about or am. i feel alone really alone, from leena and marion. with shana its like i dont even know her because in reality i dont know anyone not to the point that they know whats going on in my life and i know whats going on in theres. its too complicated and too hard to keep up with other peoples lives because in the end you lose yourself to them, you forget what it is you really are about and find only yourself questioning yourself. its sad but its life right? my mom is know going to bed i can hear the postals playing in the other room my brother has become one of those computer youths that sit in front of the computer screen and talk on aim for multiple hours. he is just like everyone else. and i am too. damn conformity and society for making us what we are. for damaging the mind and selfconcious of the mass majority of those who inhabit the earth. but most of all is fuck you all and everything you stand for your are not what you say you are you lie and cheat and steal to get what you want but i do the same it is how we are raised how the mind judges and decides what is right and what is wrong. tell me what is right? what am i allowed to do what is accepted and what is not? can you tell me without contradicting someone else? no its impossible. anarachy is what would happen without right and wrong. without knowing what is good or bad. what am i? can you tell me without there being someone to think else?