It's amazing what you miss when you don't pay attention
Recently I've bought a lot of transformers. Well, three big fuckers and a few novelty guys for shits and giggles. The big guys are Optimus Prime, Starscream and Megatron, I wouldn't call them toys partly because they'd break in the hands of rough play and partly because I was terrified of some of the force required to move the intricate, fragile, very expensive parts; but they are toys nonetheless, lets be honest now. These things are quite awesome, both in quality and and scale, and although G1 was over twenty years ago now it still holds such fond nostalgia I feel like there's an excited little kid still inside somewhere, eternally quixotic for release but held back by the layers of jaded cynicism that agregate year to year.
But tonight I had a sudden moment of odd clarity. Why did I buy them? Sure they're pretty cool and on the list of 'Things I Want' (stupidly filed in the same place as 'Things I Need', but with more exciting and eye-catching writing and colours) and I'm very pleased with my purchases. But I think I'm actually sorta depressed. I have little in the way of self-esteem at the moment, feel like there's a little nigling hole somewhere I can't fill on my own, and a bit of retail therapy has made me feel better about my lot. It isn't an answer I know but fun to do.
I guess it's just that I'm unhappy with my job and my future prospects at the moment. I'm studying for an MCSE and I'm hoping to use it as a springboard to a career (because, lord knows, answering phones on a nightshift is easy money but bottom feeding no matter how you look at it, although it is far more comfortable and less demanding than most shit jobs... not the point) coupled with the fact that I'm single and goddamn I know that sucks. I'm not looking for Lady Macbeth though, I'm needing a Portia.
WHOOOOP! WHOOOOP! STUPID REFERENCE ALERT!
NOW REVERTING TO BACK UP SYSTEM!
DIATRIBE PROFILE LOADED...READY
Know who I blame? Everyone who has ruined my dreams of getting into space. We were promised spaceships and dinosaurs when we were kids and Thatcher and Regan have yet to deliver! I want my flying car, the hoverboard, the pet dinosaur, the solar powered everthing, underwater cities, Galaxy High, virtual reality, aliens, space battles, trips to get your ass to Mars, wet-ware, downloaded knowledge, robots, cyborgs, new fucking eyes, powered armour, post-apocalyptic survivalism, cyber-punk dehumanisation, you ever see 'Aeon Flux' on MTV? I want fucking all of that, and 'Bladerunner', and 'The Naked Sun'.
The future is boring and all the cool shit's looking less and less likely to appear in our lifetime.
Still, on the plus side I got some sweet Transformers ^¬^
(>'')> (>''<) <(''<) (>''<) (>'')> (>''<) <(''<) (>''<)
(*'')-* *\('¬')/* *-(''*)
But tonight I had a sudden moment of odd clarity. Why did I buy them? Sure they're pretty cool and on the list of 'Things I Want' (stupidly filed in the same place as 'Things I Need', but with more exciting and eye-catching writing and colours) and I'm very pleased with my purchases. But I think I'm actually sorta depressed. I have little in the way of self-esteem at the moment, feel like there's a little nigling hole somewhere I can't fill on my own, and a bit of retail therapy has made me feel better about my lot. It isn't an answer I know but fun to do.
I guess it's just that I'm unhappy with my job and my future prospects at the moment. I'm studying for an MCSE and I'm hoping to use it as a springboard to a career (because, lord knows, answering phones on a nightshift is easy money but bottom feeding no matter how you look at it, although it is far more comfortable and less demanding than most shit jobs... not the point) coupled with the fact that I'm single and goddamn I know that sucks. I'm not looking for Lady Macbeth though, I'm needing a Portia.
WHOOOOP! WHOOOOP! STUPID REFERENCE ALERT!
NOW REVERTING TO BACK UP SYSTEM!
DIATRIBE PROFILE LOADED...READY
Know who I blame? Everyone who has ruined my dreams of getting into space. We were promised spaceships and dinosaurs when we were kids and Thatcher and Regan have yet to deliver! I want my flying car, the hoverboard, the pet dinosaur, the solar powered everthing, underwater cities, Galaxy High, virtual reality, aliens, space battles, trips to get your ass to Mars, wet-ware, downloaded knowledge, robots, cyborgs, new fucking eyes, powered armour, post-apocalyptic survivalism, cyber-punk dehumanisation, you ever see 'Aeon Flux' on MTV? I want fucking all of that, and 'Bladerunner', and 'The Naked Sun'.
The future is boring and all the cool shit's looking less and less likely to appear in our lifetime.
Still, on the plus side I got some sweet Transformers ^¬^
(>'')> (>''<) <(''<) (>''<) (>'')> (>''<) <(''<) (>''<)
(*'')-* *\('¬')/* *-(''*)