Post #21
Fics ( #20)
notice me this year exo, kris/tao
trois exo, fem!Sehun/luhan/kai
A Matter of Perspective exo, kris/luhan
clandestine exo; kris/baekhyun
untitled beast, doojoon/dongwoon
untitled snsd, hyoyeon/seohyun
untitled infinite, sunggyu/dongwoo
There's a new delicious archive for seoulfulness run by anon(s) who aren't me hereFor flat view, ( Read more... )
notice me this year exo, kris/tao
trois exo, fem!Sehun/luhan/kai
A Matter of Perspective exo, kris/luhan
clandestine exo; kris/baekhyun
untitled beast, doojoon/dongwoon
untitled snsd, hyoyeon/seohyun
untitled infinite, sunggyu/dongwoo
There's a new delicious archive for seoulfulness run by anon(s) who aren't me hereFor flat view, ( Read more... )
“I did, stop calling me an idiot, you idiot. I kissed him.”
“And?” The stairwell is quiet enough for Junhee to hear Shiwon’s loud, impatient voice coming out of Yoonjae’s phone.
“And nothing. He said I was drunk and pushed me away.”
Shiwon says something in reply that Junhee cannot hear, but he sees Yoonjae ruffle his hair frustratedly.
“I wasn’t...... well, not even near enough to be slurring or anything. But I kind of faked it.”
“God damn, Yoon Yoonjae. What for?” Junhee can almost see Shiwon rolling her eyes on the other side of the phone.
“I didn’t want it to seem weird or anything, okay? I just wanted to see what it felt like. It felt really.... right. And also..... like there was a spark?” Yoonjae says, and Junhee feels his heart about to jump out of his chest. He can feel his heartbeat at the base of his throat - he’s not sure how long he can stay there soundless, so he makes to slip out of the stairwell to breathe, fill his lungs with air.
His ears are ringing in a vacuum and all he can hear is the thumping of his heartbeat and his heart screaming at him to stop thinking, so he doesn’t hear the thunk of his shoe against the railing when he yanks the door open, nor see Yoonjae whipping his head up and catching a glimpse. He’s breathing as hard as he can against the wall outside the stairwell when Yoonjae pulls the door open and steps out, next to him.
Junhee can’t breathe, can’t move, can’t think, and thinks that this is a little unfair of Yoonjae to sneak an attack on him when Yoonjae moves closer to place a hand on Junhee’s forearm, the same contact that caused his moment of weakness the night before. Junhee looks over again like the utter idiot he is.
“You heard, right?” Yoonjae asks, his face set in seriousness. Junhee is unfamiliar with this expression of Yoonjae’s because Yoonjae is mostly scowling or sarcastic or genuinely laughing, until his mind places it as the one Yoonjae has on when it concerns things incredibly important to him. Junhee still hasn’t forgotten Yoonjae’s face right before it was his turn for the physical examination at the airspace academy.
Junhee swallows, but Yoonjae sees it. It’s nearly unsettling how well Yoonjae reads him, despite not being able to read half the world. Years of waking up right next to someone with shit in their eyes and drool down their chin means for a whole new level of understanding.
“Do -” Yoonjae falters now, and Junhee sees his apprehension at the things he thinks he’s not good at, “you, uh. Still? Like me?”
Junhee is stunned speechless at how Yoonjae knows - he’d never mentioned anything, all these years, yet this is so large a part of Junhee’s consciousness whenever he’s around Yoonjae that it seems almost suffocating, so much that it feels dumb and myopic to assume that Yoonjae never suspected - and stares back at him.
“Look,” Yoonjae takes a deep breath, “I wasn’t going to, you know, spring one on you like that. But I’m not seventeen any more, I don’t want to have to stake everything on one day and have it fail. I just. Sorry. Not really sorry.”
Junhee’s not really hearing much. All he can do is watch the movement of Yoonjae’s lips, the sharpness of Yoonjae’s lazy eye, and feel the rush of hope in his chest.
“I missed,” Yoonjae starts, then drops his eyes like he always does when he’s embarrassed. “Us.” The last word is so soft Junhee doesn’t know if he heard it right. He has to force his heart down the back of his throat.
When he finally musters up the strength to look Yoonjae in the eye, Yoonjae doesn’t say anything else, and neither does Junhee, but he thinks something parses between them.
It feels like a new beginning.
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