post #18

[seoulfulness]

Fics ( #17)

untitled f(x), krystal/sulli
Each Day That Passes EXO/SNSD, Baekhyun/Taeyeon
beneath the ice cracks super junior-m/f(x), zhou mi/victoria
food for the heart ze:a, kevin/siwan
don't forget me girl's day, sojin/yura
I would trust you (with my password) btob, peniel/sungjae
lesson one: always have a spare key exo, baekhyun/chen
burnt

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destruction resolution (part iv)

[anonymous]

Sungyeol shrugs and says, “That’s just how I am, you know? That’s it. That’s all there is to it.”

“I know,” Myungsoo says, even though he really doesn’t. “You think of things differently than I do. A lot differently - that’s what makes me nervous.

“You make it sound like I’m dangerous,” Sungyeol says, the right side of his lips quirking upwards slightly.

Myungsoo has to wonder about that, but then Sungyeol tugs on Myungsoo’s hand lightly and grins. “Hey, let’s go and see if that stray cat that comes by sometimes is around. I think that the lady who works at the food distribution place feeds it, because I swear, it gets bigger every next time I see it.”

“Okay,” Myungsoo says, and lets Sungyeol drag him off. He considers, vaguely, if Sungyeol touches him on purpose or not.

Being friends with Sungyeol, he realizes, is always a little like that. He finds that he doesn’t really mind it.

---

Reality is less in flux after he moves than they were in Seoul. There are little things that vacillate unpredictably, but mostly they are minor inconveniences, nothing serious or debilitating. Sometimes Myungsoo picks his keys up from the table only to find them there again five minutes later, except that they’re also sitting snugly in his pants pocket at the same time - at times like that, it can get difficult to remember what is real and what are only perceptions. Small paradoxes like that will resolve themselves fairly quickly, but when they happen over and over again, he starts to feel deeply uncomfortable.

Even still, he thinks, he would rather be in Seoul where he knows not to trust his perceptions than here, where he is afraid to trust them. To distract himself from dwelling upon it, he thinks about what he should use his remaining film on (only two more rolls left after he finishes this one, he realizes glumly, and he often wonders if it’s possible for him to make his own somehow). When he’s not doing his government-delegated work, or with Sungyeol, or sending half-hearted e-mails to his parents, he spends hours scouring the Internet for information about photography - history, technique, construction, anything that can keep him distracted. Every day, as a matter of ritual, he delicately cleans his camera and checks to make sure that everything is as it should be.

Weeks pass like this. The warping gets stronger on some days, weaker on others. Myungsoo only snaps photos when it starts to get especially bad (which, he realizes, is getting more and more frequent), mostly of inconsequential things that he immediately regrets wasting film on. When he takes a photo, though, it always sends a wave of relief through his body - he untenses, lets himself breathe a little more easily, and is reassured that reality need not be subjective.

He uses up his second roll of film this way, and is unsure whether or not he regrets it.