post #15

[seoulfulness]

Fics( #14).
lost and founds snsd, tiffany/sunny
Unlucky exo, kris/suho
how I like my coffee exo kai/d.o.
does running away mean we're acccepted, finally? shinee, key/onew
shut up and let me pay the rent exo, baekhyun/d.o
lik a child exo, suho/kai
Complication exo, sehun/luhan
deep down 4minute, jiyoon-centric, jiyoon/gayoon
untitled exo, chanyeol
i

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then, your heart drops (part ii)

[anonymous]

The night before Baekhyun is set to do his first solo job, he confesses to Chanyeol, “I’m not afraid of being killed. I’m afraid I’ll get lost and won’t be able to find my way back.”

There is nothing to lose, Chanyeol thinks, when the world has already ended, so he says, “I’ll always come looking for you,” and then he leans over and kisses Baekhyun. He expects the worst, but Baekhyun closes his eyes and presses back.

- - -

Baekhyun is gone for four days, but he finds his way back just fine. Chanyeol laughs with relief (if he doesn’t laugh, he thinks he’ll cry instead) when Baekhyun returns, and welcomes him back with a smile and kisses all over Baekhyun’s face, neck, body.

- - -

Paradoxically, Chanyeol finds that he worries more after he and Baekhyun start dating - or whatever it is that they’re doing, because he’s not sure this qualifies as dating. He is scared of dying not only because he still wants to live, but because he doesn’t want to leave Baekhyun behind. He is scared of Baekhyun dying not only because he is afraid of being alone, but because he thinks if Baekhyun dies he will give up on what little hope he last left. He is at once both infinitely happier and infinitely more afraid than before.

But Baekhyun has a way of coaxing out his worries, and late one night, Baekhyun admits, “I’ve thought about that too,” and they both vow that if the other dies they have to go on living no matter how much they want to give up. Then Chanyeol brushes his hands underneath Baekhyun’s shirt and Baekhyun makes an encouraging noise in the back of his throat, so Chanyeol presses Baekhyun’s back into the bed and Baekhyun lets Chanyeol touch him all over (in places, Baekhyun will later admit, that he’s never let anybody else touch before), until Baekhyun is squirming and gasping -

It is a satisfying sound, Chanyeol thinks vaguely, when Baekhyun moans and comes into his hand. Even more satisfying: the feeling as he himself comes into Baekhyun’s hand.

- - -

Baekhyun is the first to say “I love you.” It comes moments after they’ve narrowly outrun a gang of body harvesters, the first time in a long while that Chanyeol has actually been scared his end might be near - they collapse in an abandoned sidestreet, leaning against each other and laughing nervously. They talk to each other in soft, reassuring tones until they’ve both caught their breath, when suddenly, Baekhyun says it: “I love you,” he says, in a voice that twists Chanyeol’s heart, “I love you so much and I really thought we were going to die - ” Baekhyun’s voice catches “ - and for the first time since it happened I prayed, I begged to God to let me live. To give me more time with you.”

Chanyeol is breathless all over again.