post #14

[seoulfulness]

Fics ( #13)

those who wake SHINee, Jonghyun/Key
emporte moi Glam, Zinni/Dahee
i call shotgun EXO, Tao/Kris
could have spread out, too EXo, Kai/Baekhyun
glory days EXO, Lu Han/Kai
splash of hope SNSD/2AM, Seohyun/Jinwoon
again? f(x), Krystal/Sulli
past and present SHINee, Jonghyun/Taemin [warning: self harm]
Honesty EXO, Suho/Kai
the intervention

Comments

thisclose (2/2)

[anonymous]

Kris remembers the laughter that tinkled out of Baekhyun’s pink lips when they talked the first time. It’s something that he can’t ever seem to forget because it was then that something twisted in his gut, almost making him keen over and made him wonder what the hell was going on. It was Baekhyun’s laughter, then the twinkle in his eyes, then the way he looks so heartfelt when he sings, then the eye smiles that he produces, then his eyeliner, then their conversations… and then it’s just Baekhyun. Before Kris knows it, Baekhyun has wormed his way into his life and weaved himself in between the spaces of his heart.

“Congratulations,” Baekhyun tells him, the sincerity and his pride ringing loud and clear. He hesitates. “Earlier, I’m sorry I couldn’t…” He trails off and Kris can imagine him biting his lips with the sudden uncertainty.

Kris closes his eyes and breathes in and out as he remembers how he searched for Baekhyun’s eyes right after EXO-M’s name had been called for the award. Baekhyun had smiled at him then and merely nodded, making way for Chanyeol, who squeezed and thumped Kris’s back like he had something stuck in his throat, making way for Joonmyun, who was also a leader and someone who must be the happiest of them all, making way for others, but never for the two of them.

“Well that fist bump certainly made up for it,” Kris teases him instead and Baekhyun blurts out an embarrassed groan.

Kris craves for touches that he knows Baekhyun can’t give because in a world where their every move is being watched like it was the most popular feature, they can’t afford to slip up even just a tiny bit to show what the real deal between them is. Because people still aren’t as accepting as they say they are and there are always consequences for such revelations. Dreams are more important, dreams that they’ve worked so hard to train for, all the sweat, tears, backaches and heartaches, dreams that will poof away if they give in to this. The short touching of their knuckles against each other makes Kris wonder if it’s all worth it in the end. Not everyone gets to feel like this, he thinks, not everyone gets to be so lucky, and he questions why such things have to be so hard sometimes.

“I have to go,” Baekhyun then says and Kris can hear Kyungsoo reminding Baekhyun of EXO-K’s recording schedule the next morning. “I just wanted to congratulate you again.”

Kris sighs. We are one reverberates in his mind because EXO is one, but, at the end of the day, EXO-M and EXO-K go their separate ways and he feels his chest tighten at the fact that no matter what there will always be that divide, that no matter how close they are, no matter how hard they try to stick together, they will always be separated because that’s how things should be.

It’s interesting how Kris is in EXO-M and Baekhyun is in EXO-K, at how it seems like their lives will never be fully intertwined no matter how much they want it to be. In the rare moments that their schedules clash and they become EXO, there’s a relief that surges over Kris because he’s reminded that, yes, they can be together, after all; and then this relief is snatched away from him when they’re tugged in different directions because, no, you’re not meant to both go that way.

“Hey,” Baekhyun speaks again when he continues to be quiet. It reminds Kris of those stolen moments where Baekhyun is cuddled towards him as they watch a movie in his laptop in a darkened room, while Yixing is off teaching the guitar to Jongdae. “We’re-we’re… okay… right?”

Kris knows what Baekhyun is asking, searching for reassurance in not so many words, because what words are there to describe what they are when they can’t even express it properly to each other? Because, even when they’re two points placed thisclose, they’re not really touching and probably never will.

“Yeah, we’re okay,” Kris says with a quiet sigh.

It’s all they can have for now and Kris decides that he’ll take it any given day.

Re: thisclose - OP

[anonymous]

Omg, i cant explain what i feel anymore, i love you so so much for this anon.

The way you write their story make my heart break T__T yeah all they can have now is just these calls and the feelings in their hearts. And it's really hurt when you cant do anything about that, when you cant do anything even though they were so closed to you.

Again, i love you so much and thanks for filling this :)

Re: thisclose - OP

[anonymous]

I'm so relieved that you liked this, even if it was in Kris' point of view instead of Baekhyun's. I just thought it may be interesting to see Kris' pov too since he always seems to stoic and all that. :) Anyway, I'm just happy you liked this. :D