post #14

[seoulfulness]

Fics ( #13)

those who wake SHINee, Jonghyun/Key
emporte moi Glam, Zinni/Dahee
i call shotgun EXO, Tao/Kris
could have spread out, too EXo, Kai/Baekhyun
glory days EXO, Lu Han/Kai
splash of hope SNSD/2AM, Seohyun/Jinwoon
again? f(x), Krystal/Sulli
past and present SHINee, Jonghyun/Taemin [warning: self harm]
Honesty EXO, Suho/Kai
the intervention

Comments

deep down ; 4minute, jiyoon-centric, jiyoon/gayoon

[anonymous]

things disappear for a reason, they say.

this is what they teach jiyoon when she’s five and she loses her favourite, pink blanket, the exact one that she carried around with her until the day she handed it over to her father for safe-keeping when she ran off to go play in the sand box with neighbour jang hyunseung. her father wasn’t looking, and accidentally, the pink blanket was swept away by the wind, and lost forever.

jiyoon cried for a very long time over that pink blanket, refusing to go to bed until it was returned. her father tried bribing her with new blankets and toys; it didn’t work. jiyoon wanted her blanket back. her hands felt cold and her chin empty without the soft feeling of her favourite item. jiyoon’s mother finally got her to fall asleep, telling her that her father had tried his best to keep it safe-and it was destiny that it disappeared.

jiyoon thinks back to that day, now.

she hadn’t thought that people could disappear, too. she had thought that out of the list of things she had accidentally lost, like her phone, that humans weren’t supposed to disappear. that they would eventually come back and greet you. jiyoon was surprised when her doctor walked up to her, wrapped an arm around her shoulder, and told her that gayoon wasn’t coming back.

this comes in as a big shock to jiyoon. gayoon was always with her; jiyoon was always with gayoon. she hated it when they were split up for classes, because jiyoon hated being in front of the class without her good luck charm. gayoon was the pride that gently pushed jiyoon forwards, and jiyoon really liked that-really liked her a lot.

“humans don’t disappear,” ten-year old jiyoon counters, looking up at the doctor, “you can’t lose a human.”

the doctor smiles at her innocence and goes down onto one knee, his hand on her shoulder. “gayoon isn’t lost-she didn’t disappear, she’s gone someplace better.”

jiyoon doesn’t understand how the earth could be “someplace better”. she hates standing out in the rain and wearing black; she hates being surrounded by all these sad-looking people. if gayoon were here, she thinks, she would make everyone happy. but no, she’s in the ground now, and what a stupid place to be.

“how are you so strong?” an adult asks her when they finally go inside from the rain. jiyoon’s brown hair drips uncomfortably and she feels cold, rubbing her arms that are covered with gooseflesh. jiyoon pouts, confused by such a question.

“gayoon makes me strong,” jiyoon replies. the woman ‘ahhs’ at her answer, patting her shoulder and walking off. big people are so weird, sometimes.

jiyoon sits down in one of the chairs. none of her friends are here, not even hyunseung, so it makes things so much worse. gayoon is hiding in the earth and all of her friends are doing something else, something more interesting. she swings her legs off of the edge of the chair.

she looks out the window, where the rock with gayoon’s name sits and the bundle of earth, and silently wonders how she lost her.

Re: deep down ; 4minute, jiyoon-centric, jiyoon/gayoon

[anonymous]

op here and wow. i will leave proper feedback later but oh goodness, you know how to pull the heartstrings

op

[anonymous]

this is just incredibly lovely and really captures that innocence of childhood when dealing with death. my heart broke for jiyoon and of course gayoon :'(

if gayoon were here, she thinks, she would make everyone happy. but no, she’s in the ground now, and what a stupid place to be. ugh anon. ♥