the art of supermarket feng shui, kyuhyun/zhou mi
anonymous
October 25 2012, 04:39:05 UTC
Zhou Mi frowns a little as Kyuhyun throws a bag of potato chips into the cart. It disturbs the gentle harmony of his boxes of whole-grain pasta and all-natural, low-fat wheat thins between carefully stacked cartons of yogurt (which promise they are loaded with beneficial bacterial colonies that aid in digestion). His frown deepens when Kyuhyun adds pork rinds and Oreo cookies. He is a forgiving person, though, and doesn’t mention anything until Kyuhyun puts the cheese puffs in.
“I’m not allowing you to buy that,” Zhou Mi announces, plucking the cheese puffs out and shoving them back onto the shelf. “Your arteries will thank me in thirty years.”
“My taste buds are hating you right now, though,” Kyuhyun says, and he grabs the bag and puts it back into the cart.
“You’re going to die early, with the way you eat,” Zhou Mi says mournfully.
Kyuhyun snorts. “As if. I’m going to keep myself alive fueled on sheer force of will. You’ll see.”
Zhou Mi doesn’t doubt it, to be honest. “Just... please. No cheese puffs. For my mental well-being.”
“You don’t see me complaining about you buying yogurt to help you take a shit,” Kyuhyun says matter-of-factly.
Zhou Mi’s face practically folds itself half in righteous indignation. He does not buy yogurt to help him take a shit, thank-you-very-much, he buys it because it’s healthy and delicious, neither of which are words that describe the snacks Kyuhyun keeps on insisting on buying. He shoots Kyuhyun a “we’re-so-not-talking-anymore” glance and then swerves to pick up a carton of free-range eggs.
“Badmouthing my yogurt, are you,” he mutters aloud as he inspects the expiration dates on the eggs. “Don’t forget who has the credit card and who doesn’t.”
Kyuhyun shuts his mouth immediately. Zhou Mi gives him a smile of grim satisfaction as he places one of the cartons in the child seat. The nutritional feng shui of their shopping cart is restored.
“I’m not allowing you to buy that,” Zhou Mi announces, plucking the cheese puffs out and shoving them back onto the shelf. “Your arteries will thank me in thirty years.”
“My taste buds are hating you right now, though,” Kyuhyun says, and he grabs the bag and puts it back into the cart.
“You’re going to die early, with the way you eat,” Zhou Mi says mournfully.
Kyuhyun snorts. “As if. I’m going to keep myself alive fueled on sheer force of will. You’ll see.”
Zhou Mi doesn’t doubt it, to be honest. “Just... please. No cheese puffs. For my mental well-being.”
“You don’t see me complaining about you buying yogurt to help you take a shit,” Kyuhyun says matter-of-factly.
Zhou Mi’s face practically folds itself half in righteous indignation. He does not buy yogurt to help him take a shit, thank-you-very-much, he buys it because it’s healthy and delicious, neither of which are words that describe the snacks Kyuhyun keeps on insisting on buying. He shoots Kyuhyun a “we’re-so-not-talking-anymore” glance and then swerves to pick up a carton of free-range eggs.
“Badmouthing my yogurt, are you,” he mutters aloud as he inspects the expiration dates on the eggs. “Don’t forget who has the credit card and who doesn’t.”
Kyuhyun shuts his mouth immediately. Zhou Mi gives him a smile of grim satisfaction as he places one of the cartons in the child seat. The nutritional feng shui of their shopping cart is restored.
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the banter is gold, the zhou mi monologue over the yoghurt is gold and the ending. i loved this :')
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