A bit of inner monologue
It's funny to me to listen to my friends who are just about to graduate from college talk about how they have no idea where the time went, how they cant believe it's all almost over, hear the shock and awe in their voices, plus that tiny bit of fear. And there is fear.
It's funny because if you went back exactly one year ago to the day, I was 3 weeks away from graduating from college, I was just about done with classes and with finals, and it was time to face the harsh reality that I was indeed about to leave the protective shell that is college life. I sit there and I think about everything that happened to me during those 4 years, and especially my senior year and how I still hold it as the best year of my life thus far.
For me my life had been occassionally go to class, study for a test, or write a paper, but that was interspersed into a mindless mix of drinking, playing video games, singing with Aural Pleasure, and basically spending as much time as humanly possible surrounded by the people who had come to define my life, whether it be the people I just drank with or occasionally grabbed a meal with, or the people who i had come to think of my as my surrogate family.
I was scared out of my mind, and I'm not afraid to admit it now. Even back then I was telling all my closest friends "Dear God I do not want to graduate. Just one more year, that's all I want." It's scary because college is so fucking great; You are an adult in the sense that you take care of yourself, you are ultimately responsible for everything that happens to you, but you're surrounded by people your own age and free of any true responsibility, protected by the umbrella of your parents and the college without being smothered by either.
Thinking about it now I can still sorta feel a faint echo of the pangs that would pain me for hours on end in the days following graduation. It lasted for months, me missing school so much it hurt, missing being in that place, being a part of Emory University. But I have to honestly say that at the same time, I'm not worried for my friends who are about to go through this because the truth is, everything will in fact be all right. It has been nearly 12 months since I left Emory U and I clearly remember that final night, hours after graduation, when basically the entire graduating class went to Famous and had one last hurrah, and I sat there thinking "Life will never get any better than this" while I basically did what I had been doing for the last year of my life.
The fact is, yeah maybe college will forever be one of the highest points in my life, but there's no reason to think that it will in fact be the best time i ever had, and everything else will be not quite as good from here on out. Even though I still stand by senior year in college being the best year of my life so far, I can say that this past year has been pretty good to me, and the truth is, if given the opportunity right now to go back to school and be a senior again, I'm really not sure I'd do it. I mean obviously, if it got sorta reset, and EVERYONE and EVERYTHING was back to the way it had been at that time, then yeah maybe I would, but if given the opportunity to throw away all the responsibility and adulthood i've been given in the last year, I dont think i'd take it. Because the fact is that graduation really IS the beginning of the rest of your life.
The night that we moved out of Clairmont, I sat alone in Fernando's apartment, staring at the buildings that had been my home for 2 years, wrestling with the idea that for the 2 best years of my life I had full access to those places, to go to my apartment and be with my best friends whenever I wanted, and now I couldn't get back in if my life depended on it, all changed in the span of 24 hours. In that 5 second interval, everything changed. When I started walking across that stage, I was Rohan Rupani, Emory University senior and a party-hard kid, and when I stepped down the platform a few moments later, I was Rohan Rupani, degree certified young adult. Of course none of that really hit me at first. But it was when I finally moved into my apartment at Aventine, when I realized I was still living with 3 of my best friends, and most of my closest friends were still in the city, I realized that the rest of my life was literally mine to do with what I will. I make my own money, get myself through the day, and I'm a 22 year old man with a job and the whole world to do with what I will. It's a vindicating, liberating realization.
It's something every single college graduate goes through I think. My hope is that 20 years from now when all of us gather on some random occasion, we'll reminisce about the good old days, but still be satisfied with where we are, not continually remember those 4 years as the highlight of our lives. Even now, I went to work for a full day, came home, took a nap, and as I have been for the last 5 years, I can hear my roommate playing some video game, and I'm debating whether or not to go out.
Life simultaneously changes completely and hardly changes at all after graduating college. Given time, you come to terms with the transition and make of it what you will. After all, the world is what we make of it, right?
It's funny because if you went back exactly one year ago to the day, I was 3 weeks away from graduating from college, I was just about done with classes and with finals, and it was time to face the harsh reality that I was indeed about to leave the protective shell that is college life. I sit there and I think about everything that happened to me during those 4 years, and especially my senior year and how I still hold it as the best year of my life thus far.
For me my life had been occassionally go to class, study for a test, or write a paper, but that was interspersed into a mindless mix of drinking, playing video games, singing with Aural Pleasure, and basically spending as much time as humanly possible surrounded by the people who had come to define my life, whether it be the people I just drank with or occasionally grabbed a meal with, or the people who i had come to think of my as my surrogate family.
I was scared out of my mind, and I'm not afraid to admit it now. Even back then I was telling all my closest friends "Dear God I do not want to graduate. Just one more year, that's all I want." It's scary because college is so fucking great; You are an adult in the sense that you take care of yourself, you are ultimately responsible for everything that happens to you, but you're surrounded by people your own age and free of any true responsibility, protected by the umbrella of your parents and the college without being smothered by either.
Thinking about it now I can still sorta feel a faint echo of the pangs that would pain me for hours on end in the days following graduation. It lasted for months, me missing school so much it hurt, missing being in that place, being a part of Emory University. But I have to honestly say that at the same time, I'm not worried for my friends who are about to go through this because the truth is, everything will in fact be all right. It has been nearly 12 months since I left Emory U and I clearly remember that final night, hours after graduation, when basically the entire graduating class went to Famous and had one last hurrah, and I sat there thinking "Life will never get any better than this" while I basically did what I had been doing for the last year of my life.
The fact is, yeah maybe college will forever be one of the highest points in my life, but there's no reason to think that it will in fact be the best time i ever had, and everything else will be not quite as good from here on out. Even though I still stand by senior year in college being the best year of my life so far, I can say that this past year has been pretty good to me, and the truth is, if given the opportunity right now to go back to school and be a senior again, I'm really not sure I'd do it. I mean obviously, if it got sorta reset, and EVERYONE and EVERYTHING was back to the way it had been at that time, then yeah maybe I would, but if given the opportunity to throw away all the responsibility and adulthood i've been given in the last year, I dont think i'd take it. Because the fact is that graduation really IS the beginning of the rest of your life.
The night that we moved out of Clairmont, I sat alone in Fernando's apartment, staring at the buildings that had been my home for 2 years, wrestling with the idea that for the 2 best years of my life I had full access to those places, to go to my apartment and be with my best friends whenever I wanted, and now I couldn't get back in if my life depended on it, all changed in the span of 24 hours. In that 5 second interval, everything changed. When I started walking across that stage, I was Rohan Rupani, Emory University senior and a party-hard kid, and when I stepped down the platform a few moments later, I was Rohan Rupani, degree certified young adult. Of course none of that really hit me at first. But it was when I finally moved into my apartment at Aventine, when I realized I was still living with 3 of my best friends, and most of my closest friends were still in the city, I realized that the rest of my life was literally mine to do with what I will. I make my own money, get myself through the day, and I'm a 22 year old man with a job and the whole world to do with what I will. It's a vindicating, liberating realization.
It's something every single college graduate goes through I think. My hope is that 20 years from now when all of us gather on some random occasion, we'll reminisce about the good old days, but still be satisfied with where we are, not continually remember those 4 years as the highlight of our lives. Even now, I went to work for a full day, came home, took a nap, and as I have been for the last 5 years, I can hear my roommate playing some video game, and I'm debating whether or not to go out.
Life simultaneously changes completely and hardly changes at all after graduating college. Given time, you come to terms with the transition and make of it what you will. After all, the world is what we make of it, right?