(no subject)
It's funny to notice the little differences between now and last year. I mean granted I am pretty much over college, which is weird, because a part of me still misses it so much, but I don't think I could really go back, unless like EVERYONE who was there when I was also was there again. It's fun to sit and remember Oxford and Emory and get nostalgic and remember the fun times long gone, but at the same time I don't get bogged down by it like I used to.
I think a large part of it is still the fact that I really do have the rest of my life to do with what I will. That was probably the biggest revelation for me, the most exciting and daunting part of leaving college, other than the fact that that dynamic and environment of constantly having fun and being surrounded by friends all the time is sorta gone, it's really the idea that no matter what happens in my life, from here on out, there is nothing to guide me, nothing to push me, nothing to sustain me, and nothing to influence me other than my own thoughts. It still catches me off guard sometimes and can almost hit me all over again if I really think about what that means.
It's nice right now though. Even though the night now ends for me at 1 am rather than beginning, I only make it out to bars maybe once a week if I'm lucky instead of 5-6 days a week, and instead of spending nearly every hour of my day sitting around and fucking around with my friends, I work a lot and when I'm not working I split the rest of my time between trying to have fun and doing something worthwhile like reading or writing.
If I have any goals for this year, if I have any sort of direction, it's to get into shape. I know I say that a lot but I really really really want to do it, and it's all within my power. Granted, I think the losing weight part I can do, I really just have to stop eating so much shit, but as for gaining muscle and becoming cut, rather than just a bulky combination of muscle and fat, that's going to take some work but I have no doubt that I can pull it off.
I guess all I can really say is everything's going to be ok. I'm ok, and I'm going to get better. My life could be better for sure, but it could certainly be a lot worse.
PS: It's awkward to see a guy whose best friend you threatened to kill.
"Go do that voodoo that you do so well."
-Hedley Lamar, Blazing Saddles.
I think a large part of it is still the fact that I really do have the rest of my life to do with what I will. That was probably the biggest revelation for me, the most exciting and daunting part of leaving college, other than the fact that that dynamic and environment of constantly having fun and being surrounded by friends all the time is sorta gone, it's really the idea that no matter what happens in my life, from here on out, there is nothing to guide me, nothing to push me, nothing to sustain me, and nothing to influence me other than my own thoughts. It still catches me off guard sometimes and can almost hit me all over again if I really think about what that means.
It's nice right now though. Even though the night now ends for me at 1 am rather than beginning, I only make it out to bars maybe once a week if I'm lucky instead of 5-6 days a week, and instead of spending nearly every hour of my day sitting around and fucking around with my friends, I work a lot and when I'm not working I split the rest of my time between trying to have fun and doing something worthwhile like reading or writing.
If I have any goals for this year, if I have any sort of direction, it's to get into shape. I know I say that a lot but I really really really want to do it, and it's all within my power. Granted, I think the losing weight part I can do, I really just have to stop eating so much shit, but as for gaining muscle and becoming cut, rather than just a bulky combination of muscle and fat, that's going to take some work but I have no doubt that I can pull it off.
I guess all I can really say is everything's going to be ok. I'm ok, and I'm going to get better. My life could be better for sure, but it could certainly be a lot worse.
PS: It's awkward to see a guy whose best friend you threatened to kill.
"Go do that voodoo that you do so well."
-Hedley Lamar, Blazing Saddles.