now

[senyen]

we are God's unwanted children...

i painted a picture frame on Tuesday night and listened to records
my blinds were up and my mind was open
i used a stick to paint with
i wanted to see the effects it produced...

i have:
-nesting birds in one of my kitchen windows (and i will show you pictures soon)
-a couch
-energy saving light bulbs!
-big ideas
-a strange sense of isolation...

i want:
-to eat breakfast
-a vacuum that works properly
-community
-to go on vacation
-a pair of rainboots
-my tattoo

i am in a strange mood right now...and i can't find the right words to describe how it feels...
longing, listlessness, loneliness....

i havent felt these things in a loooong time
i usually have a great sense of peace and adventure and connection

perhaps i should eat my oatmeal and i will feel better
i want