October.
Dinner with Kelly and Ben and the bean tonight, thank you guys, it was good to get out and be able to relax, if only for a little while. It makes me ache, in a good way, for another type of family unit..that is another post.
I began to think this evening in the rain about the state of my heart and relationships and the constants and inconstant s that surround everything that i do. I feel like the path that I have chosen is both compassionate and giving, and self destructive and self deprecating..
I leave again to go up next week, and it is tough to understand the trip until I take it, ant hen the fear and anxiety filter in as that train travels closer to where I need to be, but I have thick armor.
It is akin to slaying a dragon, and you can understand that as well as I can. Kelly asked me tonight if I plan to relocate, and surprisingly I said no. I had thought that this was the plan, but I realized that second that I did not want to. Everyone I love is here, and I can't bring it upon myself to leave, no matter the situation. I will just have to commute and do as I will.
A
I began to think this evening in the rain about the state of my heart and relationships and the constants and inconstant s that surround everything that i do. I feel like the path that I have chosen is both compassionate and giving, and self destructive and self deprecating..
I leave again to go up next week, and it is tough to understand the trip until I take it, ant hen the fear and anxiety filter in as that train travels closer to where I need to be, but I have thick armor.
It is akin to slaying a dragon, and you can understand that as well as I can. Kelly asked me tonight if I plan to relocate, and surprisingly I said no. I had thought that this was the plan, but I realized that second that I did not want to. Everyone I love is here, and I can't bring it upon myself to leave, no matter the situation. I will just have to commute and do as I will.
A