From the xanga
I think if I were poisoned by toxic waste, I'd want magical powers similar to the human torch, but wanting to retain credit (the human torch was denied a bankloan), I would want to be able to yell "SHOES ON!" and be instantly pedially protected. Perhaps with some talent develpment even you could evolve your power into different types of shoes depending on the situational hazards you might run into. Need to go undercover in a gay bar? "SHOES ON!" and Bam, purple suede. Hanging on the beach? "SHOES ON!" and bam, a hot pair of thongs to smack their way through the sand. In any case, I'd love to mutter "shoes on" under my breath and freak out staring kids in public places. Plus, you'd never have to buy shoes again. Just watch out for copyright infringement laws, because those corporate lawyers would go to work on you if you were to imitate their logos without permission.