Pretty People, Really Pretty People, and More Pretty People
Title: Pretty People, Really Pretty People, and More Pretty People
Chapter(s): 1/1
Author: sentimentalenvy
Genre: AU, Humor, Romance
Rating: R-ish
Warnings: Crude humor, Language, Sexual implications
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong, one sided Yoochun/Junsu, past Yoochun/Jaejoong
Disclaimer: I do not own anyone in this story.
Synopsis:Junsu doesn’t understand pretty people. He doesn’t get pretty. And he sure as hell doesn’t understand why they always come out victoriously in the end. (Junsu’s POV. You’ll see why in a bit.)
Soccer Terminologies to keep in mind:
Starter* The player chosen to be on the field first to play at the start of a game. (Teams normally choose their best players as starters.)
Striker* A team's most powerful and best-scoring forward.
Sweeper* The defender that plays closest to his own goal and takes his place behind the rest of the defenders. They're normally found guarding in front of the goalkeeper.
And by the way, if you're merely looking for only one on one YunJae one-shot sexing time, you're wasting your time here. You're free to click Back to avoid disappointment. ._. Even though it's told from Junsu's POV, this is still technically a YunJae fic. I know it's probably different from what you'd normally see buut...yeeah. Tryin' somethin new here. Thaaanks. :D
Pretty People, Really Pretty People, and More Pretty People
What is it about pretty people that make them so special? I mean don’t get me wrong. I’m not so fugly myself. It’s just that I’ve realized that things just seem to flow and run more smoothly for the uh…appealing ones.
Take rookie Choi Siwon for example. He isn’t exactly categorized as “beautiful and elegant” amongst women around here but I’d say handsome would do. He’s also one of the best starters on our team, by the way, which is completely unfair. Did they make it one of the golden rules to have only handsome men as qualification to join the soccer team? Because I’m pretty damn good!
Or what about the team’s sexy sweeper, and quite possibly the only man I’ll ever have eyes for, the ever so sexy Park Yoochun? I think he’s also more handsome and adorable than pretty but who cares. I think with that guy everything should be self explanatory. He could get anyone to do his assignments if he wanted to (even though he does all his work on his own), he’s a bit scrawnier compared to the rest of the burly brutes (but still the has that dash of “sexily toned”), he has no trouble keeping the girls at bay (which to this day I still don’t understand how). To be honest, I’m surprised he hasn’t suffocated from the sea of tits bulldozed into his face. Not that I envy him for that. Believe me.
Oh hey. Let’s not forget the university’s stealthy striker, Jung Yunho. Yeah - sure. He’s smart, tall, dark, handsome, big and fast, but I’m just as fast! Possibly even faster! I’ll challenge him one on one any day, I tell ya! I bet if I was all of the above listed up there, I’d be on the team as well! Alright, so I guess it would be partially my fault that I'm not on the team.
I might have not tried out for the team but that’s only because…well. I’d rather not get into that right now. I know, look at me, all braggy Mr. Braggerson. But I have my reasons. So shut it.
I hate to admit it, but Yunho isn’t exactly your stereotypical dense 'jock' who gained acceptance into the school just because he excelled in sports. Wish I can list some flaws about this guy but I just can’t. Jaejoong complains he’s got way too small of a face and a deformed bottom lip that extends too far out, probably from dental work done, but hey. Flaw fixed? He’s too smart for his own good, he’s too incredibly good hearted and scarily kind to those around him, and uh…well, even though he’s not the kind of guy who sleeps around (nobody said that was a flaw), well hey. Wouldn’t that be a plus? A guy who can abstain from sex unless he finds someone he actually wants to sleep with? I guess being a goody goody never hurt anybody. I think it makes him even more unattainable and people around here just shower him with respect for it. I unno.
So I’ve mentioned the pretty people. Let me just say that pretty people don’t exactly have to be geniuses to get their way. Especially when you’re looking at the popularity rate in our school, I think even though our university is known for being inhabited by smart students, it just doesn’t matter because you can be insanely sexy smart and butt ugly and it still wouldn’t work out for you. Why is that? Women around here, a good lot of them here, are a bit on the shallow side, and are incredibly picky about height and appearances. Don’t misunderstand. I mean, you can be as tall as Shim Changmin, but if you’re not remotely good looking as he is, don’t expect the hoard of hoes to be flocking for your cock. I’m not so very tall myself - merely 175cm to be exact - but it doesn’t bother me since I’m not into women. I find the men here much more appealing. Yes, there are a good lot of the handsome ones who have downright nasty personalities, but there are a good handful of decent ones.
Kim Jaejoong on the other hand, even though his gay gauge is extremer than extreme, manages to snag the same fate as Yoochun with the ladies. Why? I have no fucking clue. Probably because he’s so god damned beautiful, even if you stare at him in a crowd of chicks for a good ten minutes, you’d still deem him a woman in the reeking sea of estrogen. Some simply find him the best gay friend they never had while others suffer the very fact that they don’t have a penis. (Yes, even women wish they were men so they could have a dick at him. It’s actually kind of really scary.) You’d think they’d know already that Jaejoong hyung is a bottom, but nope, girls will be girls. And c'mon yaoi fangirls! I'd assume you'd have gotten this shit down by now. Basic knowledge is basic! I’ll let their delusional minds swim in circles with that in mind.
So in a nutshell, if you’re a chick, the only way you can ever get hyung on top of you is
Pff.
Sorry, there’s no other way. You’d have to be a dude. I’m so terribly sorry for leading you on. You can close your legs now.
But there’s one lone fact about Jaejoong that you probably wouldn’t suspect. Or you might’ve already guessed.
Let’s just say he isn’t exactly the brightest highlighter in your pencil case. He’s not exactly stupid, per se, but he isn’t as…extreme as the majority of the smart and popular clique when it comes to excelling and becoming an overachiever. Sure he gets his work done, but he only does the minimum. I think the only time he did more work was participating in charity functions and fundraiser events hosted by the soccer team.
I’m not going to compare Jaejoong to a ditzy blond bimbo with jumping tits because he’s actually way better than that. Actually, at a time, I did hate him. I hated him. I loathed him till the disturbing images of me abusing him and setting that gorgeous hair of his on fire took over my mind like a raving lunatic. Why? It's not that he's a mean person with a disgusting personality or anything. Take a guess.
Well I guess if you’ve nearly been smashed from a falling piano from the sky, then yeah, I guess he’ll probably be nice and try to dive in and push you out of the way. Yeah. He’s pretty brave when it comes to saving lives (preferably stray cats), but fake a faint or deathly illness, and he’d probably leave you in the hallways to perish.
Oh fuck it, I'll just say it. He's kind of a fucking bitch. That's right, I said it.
Believe it or not, there was a time and era when he and Park Yoochun were considered a “thing”. Item, couple, whatever the hell you want to call it.
Oh yeah. Shocker of the century. Uh, not.
Park Yoochun likes pretty things. Shit like that wasn’t very hard to figure out. Somehow they ended up splitting and several months later Jaejoong somehow ended up with Park Yoochun’s best friend, slash partner in crime, with the mother fucking striker! Hah! How the fuck does that happen?! The hotties just keep stalking after his ass, don’t they?! Jaejoong doesn’t have much of an ass so uh, don’t look at me. I’m just as baffled as you are.
It's still a wonder how he still doesn’t know about my hating him at one point because he has dated my potential dream man but that’s another story for another time.
Did I also mention the fact that he’s also my best friend? What? Didn’t think an average looking guy like me could snag a sex on legs best friend for a best friend? Hah. But yes, it's true and I'm not lying. One of the heart throbs of the school is my best friend and I love him and you can't have him.
“Hey. When are you gonna get some?” Jaejoong huffs haughtily, who seemed to be waiting for me as he stuck his plate out and moved it further down towards me.
Oh, yeah. By the way, we’re taking a lunch break before Jaejoong’s next class. I’m already done, so I could head on home, but hyung normally doesn’t like to eat alone. Nor does his highness ever rush over lunch. Try rushing him while he's eating. I dare you. He’s the kind of person who you’d not like to piss off when hungry. Take Yunho hyung to be the perfect victim and example of that. There's a reason why he's able to sit still for ours on end.
“Excuse me?” Did he mean that literally or metaphorically? Jaejoong rolls his eyes in response, and as I know, he doesn’t like to have to repeat himself. No, I’m serious. Not even in like...sex. If he wants hard, you give him hard. And if he wants fast, you better be god damned fast and if he has to repeat himself then well I never stuck around to see the aftermath of that.
“Some of my salad. You know I can’t finish this whole thing by myself.”
Yes you can, you sickly beautiful anorexic freak of nature! You just don’t want yourself to look fat in front of people on campus!
"No one told you to eat salad without dressing."
I almost wanted to slap myself at the pout he threw at me.
“Ahem. No thanks, I’ve got my hearty 100% Angus beef burger, fries and coke here, thank you. And don’t say you can’t finish that on your own. I’ve seen you finish a Chipotle burrito by yourself.” I said, before taking a huge bite of my burger. Somewhere in the back of my mind I wanted to shove his face into his salad and choke him with something more fattening. Like pure lard. God knows he needs that shit. And more.
“Yes, you have. And I’m sure you saw the mound of stomach afterwards. I think I wanted to throw up afterwards. And I think my cheeks have gotten a bit fatter. Maybe I should cut down on the sauce and dressing? But then they’re so delicious. Huh. You’re gonna have to think of another alternative for me.” Hyung reaches out for his Coke Zero and sips at his straw, staring up at the sky adorably in thought.
I guess with Jaejoong, his weight soorta fluctuates. If you don't pay attention, you wouldn't be able to tell. But with hyung running frequent maintenance checks on his body, I do. And let me let you in on a little secret. When he’s happy, he eats. A lot. When he’s depressed, he eats. A lot more. When he’s pissed, you best drop him off at a buffet and never look back. So basically, to answer your question, yes. All this I’m-watching-my-weight-thing is an act. We are in school after all and people are watching. I'm not joking about the maintenance checks though. I wish I was.
“It’s not like Yunho cares.” I shrug, suddenly feeling emo, and wondering if I was too fat for Yoochun’s liking. "Besides, you know he'll be too busy with the tournament and his schoolwork to even notice." He arches an eyebrow at the negativity. If I wasn't his best friend, and if I'd just met him just now, I'd be stabbed.
“Nah. You never know. He compliments my body all the time. But there must be a reason for that, a reason for putting forth all the attention towards my body which would mean he could have a reason for being so complimentary so that gives me a reason to be suspicious of his reason, do you get my reasoning?” He asks with a comical expression as he popped a mountain of salad into his mouth.
“Are you really enjoying that salad?”
“S’not bad.”
“I don’t see why you have to put up this whole act. I mean just because you’re with an athlete, I don’t think it really matters. I mean who the hell actually watches? We’re in college. This isn’t high school.” I didn’t understand. Jaejoong wasn’t really much like this before. Actually when he dated Yoochun, he went nuts on Chocolate and I think for a semester, he looked thicker than Yoochun. Maybe he was scarred about being bigger than his boyfriend. And everyone gay knows the whole uke-needs-to-be-smaller-than-the-seme stereotype. Hyung was one of those skinny people who loved to eat, but exercised ten-fold to hide the evidence of his food-scapades.
“Yeah, but it’s different. I actually have a reputation to support. Am I making sense?”
“No.”
Jaejoong pouts.
“You heading back home after this?” He asks conversationally, running train tracks into his salad with his fork. I could tell he wanted a burrito. A big one. Speaking of that, he’s been eating ten times more lately. How do I know that? He’s been hittin’ the gym a lot. Or it could be that he’s sexually frustrated. Yunho is…well. Well I wouldn’t say he doesn’t like to have sex because no sane man with a functioning penis would ever pass up on sex. I guess he’s just more of the I’m-too-busy-we'll-fuck-later kind of guy?
Jaejoong said Yunho was a pathetic lover their first time around. Sure, hyung. Considering the fact that you were only Yunho hyung's second lover, and the fact that this guy focuses on academics and sports more than anything else, I tootally would have understood why you expected this guy to be the God of Fucking. Yeah, I know, like I needed to know that. Figured Jaejoong would cut the poor guy some slack. Geez.
You wouldn’t think Yunho would even be the kind of guy to have sex. At least until after marriage anyway. He's one of those traditional kind of guy you have no trouble bringing home to your parents. What with his goody good boy standards and all that crud, but let me tell ya. Jaejoong hyung might've fucked him up a bit because I’ve been scarred. And not in a good way. I mean my eyes have been abused, and damn it to hell, Jaejoong had a really bad habit of not locking doors.
I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve caught them having sex. I don’t even wanna - I just -
I thought info like that was meant for intimate couples within their own vicinity of privacy! But nope, being the BFF, I have to willingly hand over my ears for him to dice up.
And when Jaejoong asks if I’m heading home, that really means Oh hey Junsu, come over my house and scar your eyes while I unlock my door on purpose and intentionally have you catch my boyfriend fucking me into my wobbly headboard that's in dire need of fixing! Haha. No.
No. Not falling for that again.
“Nope,” I lied. “Probably going to the library to study for a bit before I head on home. You know how it is at home. Can’t study with my brother around. I hear he’s coming home from his university tomorrow for the weekend and I gotta prep up the house and all. You know how much my mom hates seeing a mess around the house when he’s visiting.” That was technically true. My mom didn’t like seeing a mess around the house period.
…and my brother actually came home this afternoon.
“Aw, c’mon Junsu. You don’t need to lie to me! I said I was sorry already! Why can’t you forgive me?!” Jaejoong whines, stabbing his fork into his leafy greens in the roughest manner, the white fork mimicking a cross in a cemetery.
“You can’t honestly expect me to believe you!”
“Oh c’mon, Su. If I wanted to make a porno and force you to watch it, I'd have done so by now! Give me a little more credit."
"No, you wouldn't because Yunho would never allow it." I was right after all. Yunho had more discretion than that. Though it kinda pisses me off now because now and then, when I'd catch them going at it, Yunho used to stop and actually look embarrassed. Now, however, he'll just act like I'm not there and mount Jaejoong like he's never had sex before. Since when was I lowered to 10th class citizen around here?! Just kill me now!!
"Just come over to my house when I'm done with class. We'll watch a movie and catch up. We haven't talked in decades."
"I saw you last night."
You don't want to know what I saw.
"Okay, but we didn't get much talking done." Jaejoong countered.
More like hearing muffled screams of derogatory wails. Sometimes I wonder if Yunho's ears could even handle being called such things.
"You aren't going to let me go until I agree, are you?" I sighed, and felt my heart lurch a bit at the feeling of his legs twining around mine. Not wanting to sound like I gave in, I made a contemplative expression, giving my burger the stare down as I made a relenting sound. "Fine. Only if you cook and only if Yunho doesn't show up."
"What is it about him that bugs you anyway?" Hyung didn't sound offended at all. In fact, he sounded more curious than anything.
Augh. It isn't him that's the problem. It's you.
"Nothin." I shrug, putting my burger down before reaching over for my soda. "It's just that we don't get much done with him around. He's nice."
"Yeah." Jaejoong smiled cheekily, pearly whites and all. Auh. Told him not to waste money on whitening strips. "So fine, whatevs. He's got practice and he won't be done until late anyway. So we down?"
"Yeah."
I had a feeling that Jaejoong would find a loophole somewhere. Like I said, pretty people always get their way.
A/N: Hey, readers! Long time, I know. Hope you all had a nice Valentine's today. ^^
And I don't know smack about soccer so don't kill. I was in competitive swim throughout my childhood/adolescent years. :P Anyway, due to unnecessary drama I'm putting on myself with school and life in general, I figured I'd try writing something of a mood lifter. I hoped that the vibe of this story would be sort of like my Cockblocking series. I do miss those days. :( Well anyway, please let me know what you think? Maybe I'll have a JJ or Yunho POV for this universe. That is...if I make it a universe. They probably deserve their side of the story. Who knows?
Free Hit Counter
Chapter(s): 1/1
Author: sentimentalenvy
Genre: AU, Humor, Romance
Rating: R-ish
Warnings: Crude humor, Language, Sexual implications
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong, one sided Yoochun/Junsu, past Yoochun/Jaejoong
Disclaimer: I do not own anyone in this story.
Synopsis:Junsu doesn’t understand pretty people. He doesn’t get pretty. And he sure as hell doesn’t understand why they always come out victoriously in the end. (Junsu’s POV. You’ll see why in a bit.)
Soccer Terminologies to keep in mind:
Starter* The player chosen to be on the field first to play at the start of a game. (Teams normally choose their best players as starters.)
Striker* A team's most powerful and best-scoring forward.
Sweeper* The defender that plays closest to his own goal and takes his place behind the rest of the defenders. They're normally found guarding in front of the goalkeeper.
And by the way, if you're merely looking for only one on one YunJae one-shot sexing time, you're wasting your time here. You're free to click Back to avoid disappointment. ._. Even though it's told from Junsu's POV, this is still technically a YunJae fic. I know it's probably different from what you'd normally see buut...yeeah. Tryin' somethin new here. Thaaanks. :D
Pretty People, Really Pretty People, and More Pretty People
What is it about pretty people that make them so special? I mean don’t get me wrong. I’m not so fugly myself. It’s just that I’ve realized that things just seem to flow and run more smoothly for the uh…appealing ones.
Take rookie Choi Siwon for example. He isn’t exactly categorized as “beautiful and elegant” amongst women around here but I’d say handsome would do. He’s also one of the best starters on our team, by the way, which is completely unfair. Did they make it one of the golden rules to have only handsome men as qualification to join the soccer team? Because I’m pretty damn good!
Or what about the team’s sexy sweeper, and quite possibly the only man I’ll ever have eyes for, the ever so sexy Park Yoochun? I think he’s also more handsome and adorable than pretty but who cares. I think with that guy everything should be self explanatory. He could get anyone to do his assignments if he wanted to (even though he does all his work on his own), he’s a bit scrawnier compared to the rest of the burly brutes (but still the has that dash of “sexily toned”), he has no trouble keeping the girls at bay (which to this day I still don’t understand how). To be honest, I’m surprised he hasn’t suffocated from the sea of tits bulldozed into his face. Not that I envy him for that. Believe me.
Oh hey. Let’s not forget the university’s stealthy striker, Jung Yunho. Yeah - sure. He’s smart, tall, dark, handsome, big and fast, but I’m just as fast! Possibly even faster! I’ll challenge him one on one any day, I tell ya! I bet if I was all of the above listed up there, I’d be on the team as well! Alright, so I guess it would be partially my fault that I'm not on the team.
I might have not tried out for the team but that’s only because…well. I’d rather not get into that right now. I know, look at me, all braggy Mr. Braggerson. But I have my reasons. So shut it.
I hate to admit it, but Yunho isn’t exactly your stereotypical dense 'jock' who gained acceptance into the school just because he excelled in sports. Wish I can list some flaws about this guy but I just can’t. Jaejoong complains he’s got way too small of a face and a deformed bottom lip that extends too far out, probably from dental work done, but hey. Flaw fixed? He’s too smart for his own good, he’s too incredibly good hearted and scarily kind to those around him, and uh…well, even though he’s not the kind of guy who sleeps around (nobody said that was a flaw), well hey. Wouldn’t that be a plus? A guy who can abstain from sex unless he finds someone he actually wants to sleep with? I guess being a goody goody never hurt anybody. I think it makes him even more unattainable and people around here just shower him with respect for it. I unno.
So I’ve mentioned the pretty people. Let me just say that pretty people don’t exactly have to be geniuses to get their way. Especially when you’re looking at the popularity rate in our school, I think even though our university is known for being inhabited by smart students, it just doesn’t matter because you can be insanely sexy smart and butt ugly and it still wouldn’t work out for you. Why is that? Women around here, a good lot of them here, are a bit on the shallow side, and are incredibly picky about height and appearances. Don’t misunderstand. I mean, you can be as tall as Shim Changmin, but if you’re not remotely good looking as he is, don’t expect the hoard of hoes to be flocking for your cock. I’m not so very tall myself - merely 175cm to be exact - but it doesn’t bother me since I’m not into women. I find the men here much more appealing. Yes, there are a good lot of the handsome ones who have downright nasty personalities, but there are a good handful of decent ones.
Kim Jaejoong on the other hand, even though his gay gauge is extremer than extreme, manages to snag the same fate as Yoochun with the ladies. Why? I have no fucking clue. Probably because he’s so god damned beautiful, even if you stare at him in a crowd of chicks for a good ten minutes, you’d still deem him a woman in the reeking sea of estrogen. Some simply find him the best gay friend they never had while others suffer the very fact that they don’t have a penis. (Yes, even women wish they were men so they could have a dick at him. It’s actually kind of really scary.) You’d think they’d know already that Jaejoong hyung is a bottom, but nope, girls will be girls. And c'mon yaoi fangirls! I'd assume you'd have gotten this shit down by now. Basic knowledge is basic! I’ll let their delusional minds swim in circles with that in mind.
So in a nutshell, if you’re a chick, the only way you can ever get hyung on top of you is
Pff.
Sorry, there’s no other way. You’d have to be a dude. I’m so terribly sorry for leading you on. You can close your legs now.
But there’s one lone fact about Jaejoong that you probably wouldn’t suspect. Or you might’ve already guessed.
Let’s just say he isn’t exactly the brightest highlighter in your pencil case. He’s not exactly stupid, per se, but he isn’t as…extreme as the majority of the smart and popular clique when it comes to excelling and becoming an overachiever. Sure he gets his work done, but he only does the minimum. I think the only time he did more work was participating in charity functions and fundraiser events hosted by the soccer team.
I’m not going to compare Jaejoong to a ditzy blond bimbo with jumping tits because he’s actually way better than that. Actually, at a time, I did hate him. I hated him. I loathed him till the disturbing images of me abusing him and setting that gorgeous hair of his on fire took over my mind like a raving lunatic. Why? It's not that he's a mean person with a disgusting personality or anything. Take a guess.
Well I guess if you’ve nearly been smashed from a falling piano from the sky, then yeah, I guess he’ll probably be nice and try to dive in and push you out of the way. Yeah. He’s pretty brave when it comes to saving lives (preferably stray cats), but fake a faint or deathly illness, and he’d probably leave you in the hallways to perish.
Oh fuck it, I'll just say it. He's kind of a fucking bitch. That's right, I said it.
Believe it or not, there was a time and era when he and Park Yoochun were considered a “thing”. Item, couple, whatever the hell you want to call it.
Oh yeah. Shocker of the century. Uh, not.
Park Yoochun likes pretty things. Shit like that wasn’t very hard to figure out. Somehow they ended up splitting and several months later Jaejoong somehow ended up with Park Yoochun’s best friend, slash partner in crime, with the mother fucking striker! Hah! How the fuck does that happen?! The hotties just keep stalking after his ass, don’t they?! Jaejoong doesn’t have much of an ass so uh, don’t look at me. I’m just as baffled as you are.
It's still a wonder how he still doesn’t know about my hating him at one point because he has dated my potential dream man but that’s another story for another time.
Did I also mention the fact that he’s also my best friend? What? Didn’t think an average looking guy like me could snag a sex on legs best friend for a best friend? Hah. But yes, it's true and I'm not lying. One of the heart throbs of the school is my best friend and I love him and you can't have him.
“Hey. When are you gonna get some?” Jaejoong huffs haughtily, who seemed to be waiting for me as he stuck his plate out and moved it further down towards me.
Oh, yeah. By the way, we’re taking a lunch break before Jaejoong’s next class. I’m already done, so I could head on home, but hyung normally doesn’t like to eat alone. Nor does his highness ever rush over lunch. Try rushing him while he's eating. I dare you. He’s the kind of person who you’d not like to piss off when hungry. Take Yunho hyung to be the perfect victim and example of that. There's a reason why he's able to sit still for ours on end.
“Excuse me?” Did he mean that literally or metaphorically? Jaejoong rolls his eyes in response, and as I know, he doesn’t like to have to repeat himself. No, I’m serious. Not even in like...sex. If he wants hard, you give him hard. And if he wants fast, you better be god damned fast and if he has to repeat himself then well I never stuck around to see the aftermath of that.
“Some of my salad. You know I can’t finish this whole thing by myself.”
Yes you can, you sickly beautiful anorexic freak of nature! You just don’t want yourself to look fat in front of people on campus!
"No one told you to eat salad without dressing."
I almost wanted to slap myself at the pout he threw at me.
“Ahem. No thanks, I’ve got my hearty 100% Angus beef burger, fries and coke here, thank you. And don’t say you can’t finish that on your own. I’ve seen you finish a Chipotle burrito by yourself.” I said, before taking a huge bite of my burger. Somewhere in the back of my mind I wanted to shove his face into his salad and choke him with something more fattening. Like pure lard. God knows he needs that shit. And more.
“Yes, you have. And I’m sure you saw the mound of stomach afterwards. I think I wanted to throw up afterwards. And I think my cheeks have gotten a bit fatter. Maybe I should cut down on the sauce and dressing? But then they’re so delicious. Huh. You’re gonna have to think of another alternative for me.” Hyung reaches out for his Coke Zero and sips at his straw, staring up at the sky adorably in thought.
I guess with Jaejoong, his weight soorta fluctuates. If you don't pay attention, you wouldn't be able to tell. But with hyung running frequent maintenance checks on his body, I do. And let me let you in on a little secret. When he’s happy, he eats. A lot. When he’s depressed, he eats. A lot more. When he’s pissed, you best drop him off at a buffet and never look back. So basically, to answer your question, yes. All this I’m-watching-my-weight-thing is an act. We are in school after all and people are watching. I'm not joking about the maintenance checks though. I wish I was.
“It’s not like Yunho cares.” I shrug, suddenly feeling emo, and wondering if I was too fat for Yoochun’s liking. "Besides, you know he'll be too busy with the tournament and his schoolwork to even notice." He arches an eyebrow at the negativity. If I wasn't his best friend, and if I'd just met him just now, I'd be stabbed.
“Nah. You never know. He compliments my body all the time. But there must be a reason for that, a reason for putting forth all the attention towards my body which would mean he could have a reason for being so complimentary so that gives me a reason to be suspicious of his reason, do you get my reasoning?” He asks with a comical expression as he popped a mountain of salad into his mouth.
“Are you really enjoying that salad?”
“S’not bad.”
“I don’t see why you have to put up this whole act. I mean just because you’re with an athlete, I don’t think it really matters. I mean who the hell actually watches? We’re in college. This isn’t high school.” I didn’t understand. Jaejoong wasn’t really much like this before. Actually when he dated Yoochun, he went nuts on Chocolate and I think for a semester, he looked thicker than Yoochun. Maybe he was scarred about being bigger than his boyfriend. And everyone gay knows the whole uke-needs-to-be-smaller-than-the-seme stereotype. Hyung was one of those skinny people who loved to eat, but exercised ten-fold to hide the evidence of his food-scapades.
“Yeah, but it’s different. I actually have a reputation to support. Am I making sense?”
“No.”
Jaejoong pouts.
“You heading back home after this?” He asks conversationally, running train tracks into his salad with his fork. I could tell he wanted a burrito. A big one. Speaking of that, he’s been eating ten times more lately. How do I know that? He’s been hittin’ the gym a lot. Or it could be that he’s sexually frustrated. Yunho is…well. Well I wouldn’t say he doesn’t like to have sex because no sane man with a functioning penis would ever pass up on sex. I guess he’s just more of the I’m-too-busy-we'll-fuck-later kind of guy?
Jaejoong said Yunho was a pathetic lover their first time around. Sure, hyung. Considering the fact that you were only Yunho hyung's second lover, and the fact that this guy focuses on academics and sports more than anything else, I tootally would have understood why you expected this guy to be the God of Fucking. Yeah, I know, like I needed to know that. Figured Jaejoong would cut the poor guy some slack. Geez.
You wouldn’t think Yunho would even be the kind of guy to have sex. At least until after marriage anyway. He's one of those traditional kind of guy you have no trouble bringing home to your parents. What with his goody good boy standards and all that crud, but let me tell ya. Jaejoong hyung might've fucked him up a bit because I’ve been scarred. And not in a good way. I mean my eyes have been abused, and damn it to hell, Jaejoong had a really bad habit of not locking doors.
I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve caught them having sex. I don’t even wanna - I just -
I thought info like that was meant for intimate couples within their own vicinity of privacy! But nope, being the BFF, I have to willingly hand over my ears for him to dice up.
And when Jaejoong asks if I’m heading home, that really means Oh hey Junsu, come over my house and scar your eyes while I unlock my door on purpose and intentionally have you catch my boyfriend fucking me into my wobbly headboard that's in dire need of fixing! Haha. No.
No. Not falling for that again.
“Nope,” I lied. “Probably going to the library to study for a bit before I head on home. You know how it is at home. Can’t study with my brother around. I hear he’s coming home from his university tomorrow for the weekend and I gotta prep up the house and all. You know how much my mom hates seeing a mess around the house when he’s visiting.” That was technically true. My mom didn’t like seeing a mess around the house period.
…and my brother actually came home this afternoon.
“Aw, c’mon Junsu. You don’t need to lie to me! I said I was sorry already! Why can’t you forgive me?!” Jaejoong whines, stabbing his fork into his leafy greens in the roughest manner, the white fork mimicking a cross in a cemetery.
“You can’t honestly expect me to believe you!”
“Oh c’mon, Su. If I wanted to make a porno and force you to watch it, I'd have done so by now! Give me a little more credit."
"No, you wouldn't because Yunho would never allow it." I was right after all. Yunho had more discretion than that. Though it kinda pisses me off now because now and then, when I'd catch them going at it, Yunho used to stop and actually look embarrassed. Now, however, he'll just act like I'm not there and mount Jaejoong like he's never had sex before. Since when was I lowered to 10th class citizen around here?! Just kill me now!!
"Just come over to my house when I'm done with class. We'll watch a movie and catch up. We haven't talked in decades."
"I saw you last night."
You don't want to know what I saw.
"Okay, but we didn't get much talking done." Jaejoong countered.
More like hearing muffled screams of derogatory wails. Sometimes I wonder if Yunho's ears could even handle being called such things.
"You aren't going to let me go until I agree, are you?" I sighed, and felt my heart lurch a bit at the feeling of his legs twining around mine. Not wanting to sound like I gave in, I made a contemplative expression, giving my burger the stare down as I made a relenting sound. "Fine. Only if you cook and only if Yunho doesn't show up."
"What is it about him that bugs you anyway?" Hyung didn't sound offended at all. In fact, he sounded more curious than anything.
Augh. It isn't him that's the problem. It's you.
"Nothin." I shrug, putting my burger down before reaching over for my soda. "It's just that we don't get much done with him around. He's nice."
"Yeah." Jaejoong smiled cheekily, pearly whites and all. Auh. Told him not to waste money on whitening strips. "So fine, whatevs. He's got practice and he won't be done until late anyway. So we down?"
"Yeah."
I had a feeling that Jaejoong would find a loophole somewhere. Like I said, pretty people always get their way.
A/N: Hey, readers! Long time, I know. Hope you all had a nice Valentine's today. ^^
And I don't know smack about soccer so don't kill. I was in competitive swim throughout my childhood/adolescent years. :P Anyway, due to unnecessary drama I'm putting on myself with school and life in general, I figured I'd try writing something of a mood lifter. I hoped that the vibe of this story would be sort of like my Cockblocking series. I do miss those days. :( Well anyway, please let me know what you think? Maybe I'll have a JJ or Yunho POV for this universe. That is...if I make it a universe. They probably deserve their side of the story. Who knows?
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