In a land known as Prettypantsdonia...
Hey there, good folks. amethystbubble here, filling in for sentienttoaster, who is busy harrassing a cat. Also, my computer is broken and I'm bored and for some reason I'm not allowed to have this laptop so I can read comic fanfiction all day.
SO, I'd like to take this opportunity to tell you all a few things about the Toaster.
1. He was born on a blistery, bright (insert time of day here) in October (that's right ladies, he's a Libra! Which means he's insane and unstable). He would soon come to realize that, though he was both intelligent and pretty in a womanish-fashion, he could match neither the intellect nor the beauty of his elder sibling, who shall remain anonymous. To remedy this, he turned to... the dark arts.
That's right, folks. He learned to play the xylophone.
2. For a while a year or two ago, he would walk around and pretend to have an invisible Skitty. It was kind of weird.
3. He is actually the proverbial room full of monkeys at a room full of keyboards. Don't be too surprised when, one day, he posts a perfect word-for-word copy of some Shakespeare.
4. He's actually a Skrull.
5. You can totally put his hair into pigtails. It's so cute and curly.
6. Toaster is heir to the mythical kingdom of Circuit Town, which is like Circuit City, but a lot lamer. Still, a kingdom is a kingdom, so I'm probably going to have to send him off on an impossible quest so I can claim it as my own.
7. He can perfectly mimic the noises of an enraged grizzly bear. This does not, however, save him from other enraged grizzly bears.
8. Toaster has seven children. With an actual toaster.
9. One of these days, I fully expect Toaster to run off with a dashing rogue by the name of Rodriguez. I sincerely hope Rodriguez has a straight brother. Preferably named Fernando.
10. Toaster is the longlost son of the nephew of the housekeeper of the distant uncle of the equally longlost cousin of the estranged grandfather of Elvis.
And, bonus, 11. Toaster does not actually play the xylophone.
SO, I'd like to take this opportunity to tell you all a few things about the Toaster.
1. He was born on a blistery, bright (insert time of day here) in October (that's right ladies, he's a Libra! Which means he's insane and unstable). He would soon come to realize that, though he was both intelligent and pretty in a womanish-fashion, he could match neither the intellect nor the beauty of his elder sibling, who shall remain anonymous. To remedy this, he turned to... the dark arts.
That's right, folks. He learned to play the xylophone.
2. For a while a year or two ago, he would walk around and pretend to have an invisible Skitty. It was kind of weird.
3. He is actually the proverbial room full of monkeys at a room full of keyboards. Don't be too surprised when, one day, he posts a perfect word-for-word copy of some Shakespeare.
4. He's actually a Skrull.
5. You can totally put his hair into pigtails. It's so cute and curly.
6. Toaster is heir to the mythical kingdom of Circuit Town, which is like Circuit City, but a lot lamer. Still, a kingdom is a kingdom, so I'm probably going to have to send him off on an impossible quest so I can claim it as my own.
7. He can perfectly mimic the noises of an enraged grizzly bear. This does not, however, save him from other enraged grizzly bears.
8. Toaster has seven children. With an actual toaster.
9. One of these days, I fully expect Toaster to run off with a dashing rogue by the name of Rodriguez. I sincerely hope Rodriguez has a straight brother. Preferably named Fernando.
10. Toaster is the longlost son of the nephew of the housekeeper of the distant uncle of the equally longlost cousin of the estranged grandfather of Elvis.
And, bonus, 11. Toaster does not actually play the xylophone.