Title: Failed Understanding
Author:
sentient_mist Pairing: Helen/Will-ish
Category: Angst
Rating: PG-13
Warnings/Spoilers: Attempted suicide
Summary: Heartbreak rarely requires understanding.
Author’s Note: Written for the amnesty round over @
hc_bingo.
Disclaimer: Nope. I just have a fondness for abusing them.
“Will!”
She’s beating futilely on the closed door, uncharacteristic panic fueling her actions.
“Dammit!”
She knew he was in there, but she had no way of getting to him. After what seemed an eternity, her manservant arrived. Moments later, the door was no longer an obstacle. She stumbled into the bathroom, slipping, ignoring the blood as she sank to the floor next to the young man. Grabbing a towel, she pressed it to his bloody wrist, holding it firmly in place as she half-pulled him into her lap, cradling him against her.
Forcing back her own fears, she leaned forward, voice low, close to his ear. “Some part of you didn’t really want this, Will. You know as well as I that slitting one’s wrist is the least successful form of suicide.”
Addressing her old friend, her tone took on the air of command. “We need to get him to the infirmary, so I can determine how much damage was done.” As her patient was taken from her arms, she softly instructed, “Be certain to keep pressure on his wrist.”
---
He was still too pale for her liking, but he would recover. Physically, at least. She tenderly brushed a hand across his forehead, absently fidgeting with stray hair.
Consciousness was slow to return, but once it did, he wished it hadn’t.
“Come on, Will, open your eyes for me.”
Reluctantly, he did as she asked, nearly snapping them closed again when they encountered light. Once he was successful, his reward was a tired smile.
“Glad to have you back,” she said quietly.
“Why?”
“Seems like a question I should be asking you.”
He shook his head, chuckling wryly. “Why the sudden interest in my mind now?”
“Will.” Pained, hurt.
“No, Magnus. You should go.”
“I’m not leaving you,” she insisted, taking his hand.
He tried to pull away, and she tightened her hold. Her free hand slipped into his hair, fingers gently massaging his scalp. “Don’t shut me out, Will.”
The plea in her voice finally broke through his emotional defenses, and he stopped fighting her.
“Talk to me. What is this about? Why did you feel ending your life was the better option? Where’s the man I know?”
He laughed, sounding half-hysterical. “That’s just it! You just don’t get it! You’ll never understand! This is about you!”
His words were harsh, slamming into her like a physical blow. She shook her head, denying them. “You did this because of me? Will, I don’t understand how,” she broke off, her words barely audible, still reeling.
“You should have left me there.”
Shaking her head again, she argued, “I know that some part of you didn’t want to die tonight. Leaving the note on my desk, choosing the method with the highest rate of survival. You knew I would find you.”
“Yeah, well, we’d both probably be better off if you hadn’t.”
“How can you say that? You are one of the closest friends I’ve had in decades.”
“Funny way of showing it,” he muttered.
“Will.”
“And that’s even worse. You really don’t see it, do you? You can’t drag me to your bed, tell me you love me, and then act like nothing happened!”
“I never intended.”
“You never do, do you?”
Swallowing the lump in her throat, she forced a smile. “You should get some rest.” She squeezed his hand and quickly released it. “I’ll, uh, I’ll ask Henry to sit with you,” she murmured, standing. Her tears started falling halfway to the door.