[TM] 312: 60 - What does the word 'love' mean to you?
The truth was complicated. Wound up inside of months of leading him down a specific path, twisting words into intentions, and trying to make him understand that this was the only way. Watching him make decision after decision, all with only the gentle push of success to lead him on, knowing full well that he was lining himself up to do something he'd never do, not in a million years.
The truth was difficult to swallow. It tasted acrid at the back of her mouth, and even though she did her share of drinking, it didn't dull the fact that she was coaching him to be something he wasn't ready for. If he really wanted it, if it was really meant to be, there would've been some other way, there would've been less nudges to press to his side, and a lot more ease to their jobs.
The truth was hard to confess. As she stood there, staring at him as everything he thought he believed in was revealed to be manipulation, she was certain he'd kill her. Telling him her side, explaining what she thought she was doing, how different things had become since he'd shown up; it wasn't meant to hurt this much. She remembered what it was like to be human, and here it had never been more evident.
The truth had been exposed. They still found each other, maybe with more trust than they had before. The need and dependency they had on each other, was more clear. No longer clouded with the lies, she could see him for what she had, and she loved him for all that the truth had let her become.
The truth was she remembered. Waking up in the same spot, the same place and same moment she remembered last being, was as fresh in her mind as the feeling of his arm, dead weight across her side. It almost stung to think that the one thing they all held true in that place, could so easily become a lie. Told that you forget when you return, and here was the truth, wrapped up in a different choice that she could make. The things she knew, the information she had, all of it could change it all. Each time that she came back to the castle before, she told Castiel she felt like she had no control, that she'd just continue on the path. Now though she could change it.
The truth was waiting, and she wasn't afraid to use it. Ruby knew though, above everything, that it was going to take her telling Sam again. It was going to hurt, and she might actually die this time, but the truth was she loved him, and the risk was worth it if she could have him back.
The truth was difficult to swallow. It tasted acrid at the back of her mouth, and even though she did her share of drinking, it didn't dull the fact that she was coaching him to be something he wasn't ready for. If he really wanted it, if it was really meant to be, there would've been some other way, there would've been less nudges to press to his side, and a lot more ease to their jobs.
The truth was hard to confess. As she stood there, staring at him as everything he thought he believed in was revealed to be manipulation, she was certain he'd kill her. Telling him her side, explaining what she thought she was doing, how different things had become since he'd shown up; it wasn't meant to hurt this much. She remembered what it was like to be human, and here it had never been more evident.
The truth had been exposed. They still found each other, maybe with more trust than they had before. The need and dependency they had on each other, was more clear. No longer clouded with the lies, she could see him for what she had, and she loved him for all that the truth had let her become.
The truth was she remembered. Waking up in the same spot, the same place and same moment she remembered last being, was as fresh in her mind as the feeling of his arm, dead weight across her side. It almost stung to think that the one thing they all held true in that place, could so easily become a lie. Told that you forget when you return, and here was the truth, wrapped up in a different choice that she could make. The things she knew, the information she had, all of it could change it all. Each time that she came back to the castle before, she told Castiel she felt like she had no control, that she'd just continue on the path. Now though she could change it.
The truth was waiting, and she wasn't afraid to use it. Ruby knew though, above everything, that it was going to take her telling Sam again. It was going to hurt, and she might actually die this time, but the truth was she loved him, and the risk was worth it if she could have him back.