goooddd mooodddd
mmm so happy to have finally worked stuff out with kyle...mmm I think I should just dump lj cuz all it causes it drama...Kyle all the stuff I type is mainly sarcasm...I am sarcastic in real life...I don't mean any of the shit I say literally and I wasn't trying to make you feel guilty...sooo sorry you took it the wrong way...typing is decieving...I am happy you guys finally had practice wish I could attend one and see you guys play...I don't hate band practice I really don't regardless of what you all think I just wish I could come to one and see you guys...but it usually winds up that you have them days I have to work...bbaahh...and Chris why didn't you come and gte me and kyle...I thought we were all hanging out...you did that samn thing the other night when you didn't call us...if you think i don't wnat to chill wiht you guys that simply isn't the case...I got upset over that one incident on christmas eve that doesn't mean I don't like you guys...:-( I'm sad you think I don't want to hang out with you...I love you guys...::tear:: Chris Rey Leo Nelson Wayne the whole lot of you...what would I do without you...and I hope ur not serious when you say u feel like the third or fourth or fifth wheel when hanging wiht me and kyke...cuz when he is around you guys I feel sorta like the outcast...you all have ur funny lil inside jokes and things you like to do that I just can't participate in...I wish I had more time on my hands cuz I would love to be back up vocals for your band and that way I would always see you guys and I could contribute positively to band practice instead of being a hindrance toward it. I really don't hate you guys or the fact that you have practice...most of all that stuff about not liking practice is sarcasm...I am not serious...if I hated it I wouldn't ask to go to them...bbaahh I hate using pc's and typing to people...cuz u never can tell what they are saying and how they are saying it...you could be talking to somone and they could be like masterbating and you wouldn't know it...or they could be all pissed and you wouldn't know it or they seem mad when they arn't...bbaahh guys sorry if you think I been being a bitch lately...I not trying to be I swear...most of my posts sound all angry but they really arn't...its all sarcasm. soooo forgive me my loves
and Kyle...I only asked for an apology for Christmas Eve...cuz that really wasn't nice what you did but I am over it and have been but you remarked how I always ask for apologies...I only wanted one for that and I didn't even really want the aplogy I just wanted you to hold me and reassure me that you did want to see me that day and you weren't trying to ditch me that it was my imagination..bbllaah cuz I freak out alot and think you mean one thing when you don't...like for some reason I alwasy think you are mad at me when ur not...I am dumb like that...
Kyle I care about you more then words can say...you know that...and I am glad that we actually sat down and talked and things are ok now...I'm sorry that you thought I had changed and that I hated your band...I don't...not at all
and I am not trying to be damanding on your time either or trying to make you out to be bad guy...(if you could only be around to actually see how much I praise you around my friends) all my freinds know how much I absolutely adore you and what a good guy you are...Tami is the only one who didn't like you but she doesnt like any of my ex's either so her vote doesn't count. I never put you down and if I didn't like you or thought you were a horrible person I wouldnt be with you...
I'm not trying to keep you from your freinds...and I don't need you to myself everyday so don't think that...I guess you think spending time just me and you is boring...I enjoy the time just lying around in your room...we don't have to spend time alone all the time...I kinda wish you enjoyed hanging out just me and you like you did before....once in awhile I guess we could hang out just me and you...it doesnt bother me chillin with chris,nelson and rey....they are my favorite 3 people on the planet...(aside from krys)...so sorry if you got the idea that i don't like to hang out wiht your freinds cuz that isn't the case at all.
ALL HAIL LORD CHRISTOPOTH, REYMURABI (OR HOWEVER YOU SPELL IT) AND NEO...I LOVE YOU GUYS...C'MON GROUP HUG>
yea I think I am reserving my journal for my poetry and short tiney posts...nothing else...I am contributing to the drama that I hate so much...ahhhh I am being a hypocrite..quick someone shoot me
Negativity is my destroyer...from now on nothing but positive posts...this be my last long one for awhile and this be where I give out apologies where needed...
chris and rey...sorry for the other night I was not upset wiht you guys at all nor did I wnat you to leave and not call us to hang out if that is what you thought...I don't wish to hog Kyle all to myself...can we make love and not war and share him like good civilized humans? :-) and I wanna be in the band...can I audition for you guys for back up vocals...I have about as much free time as you guys do...if you schedule practices and I can come I will...unfortunetly I have a demanding job...but I promise I am reliable and once I get car I will be around more often to cart people and equipment around. Krys's new bf said he knows a guy at a club looking for local bands to play for him...so practice all you can and learn some songs so I can get him to get you guys a gig...that would kick so much ass.I soo want to see you guys perform on stage.
Kyle...sorry you think I made you look bad...your NOT a bad guy and I wasn't trying to make you look bad...from know on I am not using the pc to talk out problems wiht you becuase it does nothing but confuse the situation. I care for you and I really don't want to lose you over some stupid fight. I'm sorry you think i hate your band...for the 5 hundreth time I will say it over and over till everyone knows I DO NOT HATE THE BAND...HAHA i love you and everything that goes wiht you....your freinds your band your family...everything!!! I wouldn't change you for the world and I am sorry I made you feel like you ahd to choose...I am not making you choose...I just want tp spend time wiht you is all...maybe I am being too demanding on your time...I guess my constantly working doesn't help that I don't get to see you...its not your fault its mine...and I did not tell your step dad I wasmad at you for going out on saturday...my god where he got that is beyond me...I asked him where you might be he couldn;t tell me cuz he didn't know and he asked me somehting gay like why don't u keep tabs on where kyle goes...don't you have phone numbers ot keep in contact wiht him and i basically said I don't own you and no i try not to "keep tabs" on where you go...and he was like ohh typical women...like i was suposed to keep tabs on you..he was acting like i wasnt putting my foot down or some shit...I don't ever want to be like that...I don't ever want to be any sort of jealous bitch that is always trying to find out where you are and who your with I hate that...so I am sorry if I have seemd mad at you or distant or pyscho...I dunno pick one...I am not...and the one time I was mad t you it took me like 5 minutes once I calmed my crazy ass down to gte over it. I could't stay mad at you even if I was...that puppy face makes me want to say yes or i'm sorry to anything. I love you and I'm sorry I have been acting crazy...I guess some compromisation on spending time needs ot be made cuz I don't want to hoard in or deny you practicve when you have the chance, but I would like to see you too...sooo i guess I just gotta be more understanding...I am a stubborn mule somtimes...i gte it from my mom...so ignore my dumbness...and a thousand apologies for anything else I did that harmed you in any way that I may not even know about.
and Kyle...I only asked for an apology for Christmas Eve...cuz that really wasn't nice what you did but I am over it and have been but you remarked how I always ask for apologies...I only wanted one for that and I didn't even really want the aplogy I just wanted you to hold me and reassure me that you did want to see me that day and you weren't trying to ditch me that it was my imagination..bbllaah cuz I freak out alot and think you mean one thing when you don't...like for some reason I alwasy think you are mad at me when ur not...I am dumb like that...
Kyle I care about you more then words can say...you know that...and I am glad that we actually sat down and talked and things are ok now...I'm sorry that you thought I had changed and that I hated your band...I don't...not at all
and I am not trying to be damanding on your time either or trying to make you out to be bad guy...(if you could only be around to actually see how much I praise you around my friends) all my freinds know how much I absolutely adore you and what a good guy you are...Tami is the only one who didn't like you but she doesnt like any of my ex's either so her vote doesn't count. I never put you down and if I didn't like you or thought you were a horrible person I wouldnt be with you...
I'm not trying to keep you from your freinds...and I don't need you to myself everyday so don't think that...I guess you think spending time just me and you is boring...I enjoy the time just lying around in your room...we don't have to spend time alone all the time...I kinda wish you enjoyed hanging out just me and you like you did before....once in awhile I guess we could hang out just me and you...it doesnt bother me chillin with chris,nelson and rey....they are my favorite 3 people on the planet...(aside from krys)...so sorry if you got the idea that i don't like to hang out wiht your freinds cuz that isn't the case at all.
ALL HAIL LORD CHRISTOPOTH, REYMURABI (OR HOWEVER YOU SPELL IT) AND NEO...I LOVE YOU GUYS...C'MON GROUP HUG>
yea I think I am reserving my journal for my poetry and short tiney posts...nothing else...I am contributing to the drama that I hate so much...ahhhh I am being a hypocrite..quick someone shoot me
Negativity is my destroyer...from now on nothing but positive posts...this be my last long one for awhile and this be where I give out apologies where needed...
chris and rey...sorry for the other night I was not upset wiht you guys at all nor did I wnat you to leave and not call us to hang out if that is what you thought...I don't wish to hog Kyle all to myself...can we make love and not war and share him like good civilized humans? :-) and I wanna be in the band...can I audition for you guys for back up vocals...I have about as much free time as you guys do...if you schedule practices and I can come I will...unfortunetly I have a demanding job...but I promise I am reliable and once I get car I will be around more often to cart people and equipment around. Krys's new bf said he knows a guy at a club looking for local bands to play for him...so practice all you can and learn some songs so I can get him to get you guys a gig...that would kick so much ass.I soo want to see you guys perform on stage.
Kyle...sorry you think I made you look bad...your NOT a bad guy and I wasn't trying to make you look bad...from know on I am not using the pc to talk out problems wiht you becuase it does nothing but confuse the situation. I care for you and I really don't want to lose you over some stupid fight. I'm sorry you think i hate your band...for the 5 hundreth time I will say it over and over till everyone knows I DO NOT HATE THE BAND...HAHA i love you and everything that goes wiht you....your freinds your band your family...everything!!! I wouldn't change you for the world and I am sorry I made you feel like you ahd to choose...I am not making you choose...I just want tp spend time wiht you is all...maybe I am being too demanding on your time...I guess my constantly working doesn't help that I don't get to see you...its not your fault its mine...and I did not tell your step dad I wasmad at you for going out on saturday...my god where he got that is beyond me...I asked him where you might be he couldn;t tell me cuz he didn't know and he asked me somehting gay like why don't u keep tabs on where kyle goes...don't you have phone numbers ot keep in contact wiht him and i basically said I don't own you and no i try not to "keep tabs" on where you go...and he was like ohh typical women...like i was suposed to keep tabs on you..he was acting like i wasnt putting my foot down or some shit...I don't ever want to be like that...I don't ever want to be any sort of jealous bitch that is always trying to find out where you are and who your with I hate that...so I am sorry if I have seemd mad at you or distant or pyscho...I dunno pick one...I am not...and the one time I was mad t you it took me like 5 minutes once I calmed my crazy ass down to gte over it. I could't stay mad at you even if I was...that puppy face makes me want to say yes or i'm sorry to anything. I love you and I'm sorry I have been acting crazy...I guess some compromisation on spending time needs ot be made cuz I don't want to hoard in or deny you practicve when you have the chance, but I would like to see you too...sooo i guess I just gotta be more understanding...I am a stubborn mule somtimes...i gte it from my mom...so ignore my dumbness...and a thousand apologies for anything else I did that harmed you in any way that I may not even know about.