(no subject)
I'm so upset about this car situation!!! Tonight I didn't have a way home from work, so after calling and asking everybody finally one of my co-workers agreed to drop me off at a nearby train station so that I could take the train home. I then got off the train and walked the 1.7 miles to my apt (in the dark, with no flashlight, on slippery and muddy terrain) and got on the phone AGAIN calling all of my co-workers (including my boss) to see if I could get a ride IN to work tomorrow (I have a ride home already worked out, although it's much later than when I actually get out of work). Now, before I continue ranting, I do want to say that I took a few moments to be thankful that I have legs and am able to walk home from the train station, and I was also grateful for the exercise (it's much needed), and I was grateful that today was one of the warmer days that we've had in a while.
But I was so frustrated this evening as I called everyone, and the clock continued to tick by, and NOBODY was calling back! I was near tears as I frantically attempted to look up the train schedule for both Amtrak and Septa (I had to stick to trains because believe it or not, my town does NOT have a bus stop - ANYWHERE), and I didn't understand it completely, which led to more emotions, and I saw that the ONE train that came into my town in the morning left at 6am, which would mean that I'd have to leave my apt no later than 5:10 (ish) in the morning just to get there on time, which means that I'd have to get up at a ridiculously early hour in order to catch said train and go into the city (which is PAST where I work), and then catch a different train that would come back to where I work (they don't have a line that goes there directly), and I'm sorry, my job is great and all, but it's just not worth all of that.
So then I tried calling work in the hopes that one of my co-workers who was working late tonight could give me some advice, but she wasn't there... and then FINALLY, someone called me back, and I started making plans to go into work late (the person who called me back works in the afternoon and evening tomorrow, so I wouldn't get to work on time, but at least I'd get to work). Then, as I was talking to her, my boss finally called me back and said that she could give me a ride in.
Now yes, everything turned out okay, but after all of that, after I hung up the phone with her, I burst into tears because they'd just been building up all evening and I was so worried that my boss had been refusing to answer my call because it's "my responsibility" to assure that I have transportation to and from work each day, and I've been getting rides from people for like a month now (of course, over this past month we had a working car, at least!), and I totally feel like everyone is annoyed with me about it (I know I'm annoyed!), but I don't know what to do about it because public transportation isn't really feasible, and I DON'T have the money for the new car right now. So I'm really feeling like crap.
Our one car that WAS working is still being repaired (hence this whole thing tonight and tomorrow morning with me not having a ride), and will supposedly be fixed tomorrow (we'll see if they actually get the part tomorrow, since it was supposed to come today), so that should help a little bit, but I just feel stressed, and horrible, and like a bum who's just using people for rides. (Yes, I may be over-reacting, but in my defense I've had a rough week already and I think it's that time of the month, and at the moment, I don't care if that's TMI because it's my journal, dammit!)
I just needed to get all this nastiness out of me... I'm going to go continue crying now and go to bed.
[And yes, in the back of my mind, I know that everything happens for a reason, and that God has a plan, and that many blessings really did happen today what with the weather and my health and all - it's just I've been so stressed I think I've earned the right to cry.]
But I was so frustrated this evening as I called everyone, and the clock continued to tick by, and NOBODY was calling back! I was near tears as I frantically attempted to look up the train schedule for both Amtrak and Septa (I had to stick to trains because believe it or not, my town does NOT have a bus stop - ANYWHERE), and I didn't understand it completely, which led to more emotions, and I saw that the ONE train that came into my town in the morning left at 6am, which would mean that I'd have to leave my apt no later than 5:10 (ish) in the morning just to get there on time, which means that I'd have to get up at a ridiculously early hour in order to catch said train and go into the city (which is PAST where I work), and then catch a different train that would come back to where I work (they don't have a line that goes there directly), and I'm sorry, my job is great and all, but it's just not worth all of that.
So then I tried calling work in the hopes that one of my co-workers who was working late tonight could give me some advice, but she wasn't there... and then FINALLY, someone called me back, and I started making plans to go into work late (the person who called me back works in the afternoon and evening tomorrow, so I wouldn't get to work on time, but at least I'd get to work). Then, as I was talking to her, my boss finally called me back and said that she could give me a ride in.
Now yes, everything turned out okay, but after all of that, after I hung up the phone with her, I burst into tears because they'd just been building up all evening and I was so worried that my boss had been refusing to answer my call because it's "my responsibility" to assure that I have transportation to and from work each day, and I've been getting rides from people for like a month now (of course, over this past month we had a working car, at least!), and I totally feel like everyone is annoyed with me about it (I know I'm annoyed!), but I don't know what to do about it because public transportation isn't really feasible, and I DON'T have the money for the new car right now. So I'm really feeling like crap.
Our one car that WAS working is still being repaired (hence this whole thing tonight and tomorrow morning with me not having a ride), and will supposedly be fixed tomorrow (we'll see if they actually get the part tomorrow, since it was supposed to come today), so that should help a little bit, but I just feel stressed, and horrible, and like a bum who's just using people for rides. (Yes, I may be over-reacting, but in my defense I've had a rough week already and I think it's that time of the month, and at the moment, I don't care if that's TMI because it's my journal, dammit!)
I just needed to get all this nastiness out of me... I'm going to go continue crying now and go to bed.
[And yes, in the back of my mind, I know that everything happens for a reason, and that God has a plan, and that many blessings really did happen today what with the weather and my health and all - it's just I've been so stressed I think I've earned the right to cry.]