(no subject)
So I spent the weekend in AZ with my sister and my extended family. It was a good and much needed vacation. I was able to catch up on sleep and relax and breathe, such a good thing. But I felt very convicted the entire weekend.
Church yesterday morning, the pastor talked about how Peter was distracted by his past, his present condition and others and Jesus had to continually keep telling him to stay focused on God and Himself rather than himself, and what's going on around him. It was a continual struggle for him to stay focused on God. It made me start thinking about everything that distracts me and how I have such a hard time continually staying focused on God. It's not that I'm a bad Christian and don't have a relationship with God, but it's just that I need to learn to make it better, everyday.
It's going to be a daily struggle for me to keep my eyes focused on God, so everyday I'll wake and try to focus myself where I should be focused. Even as the day goes on, keep reminding myself where to focus. I've discovered this isn't ever going to be something that I will fully master, but it's something that I can be aware of and make better every day. I want to be so focused on just God.
I've found myself being distracted with petty stuff and mainly boys, and not just boys in general, but more specifically, one guy. and I have decided that it's more distracting to like a guy, then actually date him. So naturally I thought, how can I change this. I am definitely not the type of girl that will pursue a guy at all. And that's it! God doesn't want me to do that. He wants me to be patient, stay focused on Him and His will for me and He will direct me where I am to go.
I see myself trying so hard to be a perfect little Christian girl, who reads my Bible and prays (so everyone can see) but what for? To impress a guy? and after I have the guy, what then? Will I still be so strong in my belief? Or is it all a show? So I want my faith and the actions produced from it used for God and not for my benefits. Because when I truly am able to do that, that is when I will truly be able to find joy in Jesus. Since I am naturally better friends with guys cuz girls bug the heck out of me, I'm going to try to focus on my relationships with specifically the girls in my life that I value, since I lack that drastically in my life.
My relationship with God means so much more to me than anything else I have... so it's my desire to be content in that.
Church yesterday morning, the pastor talked about how Peter was distracted by his past, his present condition and others and Jesus had to continually keep telling him to stay focused on God and Himself rather than himself, and what's going on around him. It was a continual struggle for him to stay focused on God. It made me start thinking about everything that distracts me and how I have such a hard time continually staying focused on God. It's not that I'm a bad Christian and don't have a relationship with God, but it's just that I need to learn to make it better, everyday.
It's going to be a daily struggle for me to keep my eyes focused on God, so everyday I'll wake and try to focus myself where I should be focused. Even as the day goes on, keep reminding myself where to focus. I've discovered this isn't ever going to be something that I will fully master, but it's something that I can be aware of and make better every day. I want to be so focused on just God.
I've found myself being distracted with petty stuff and mainly boys, and not just boys in general, but more specifically, one guy. and I have decided that it's more distracting to like a guy, then actually date him. So naturally I thought, how can I change this. I am definitely not the type of girl that will pursue a guy at all. And that's it! God doesn't want me to do that. He wants me to be patient, stay focused on Him and His will for me and He will direct me where I am to go.
I see myself trying so hard to be a perfect little Christian girl, who reads my Bible and prays (so everyone can see) but what for? To impress a guy? and after I have the guy, what then? Will I still be so strong in my belief? Or is it all a show? So I want my faith and the actions produced from it used for God and not for my benefits. Because when I truly am able to do that, that is when I will truly be able to find joy in Jesus. Since I am naturally better friends with guys cuz girls bug the heck out of me, I'm going to try to focus on my relationships with specifically the girls in my life that I value, since I lack that drastically in my life.
My relationship with God means so much more to me than anything else I have... so it's my desire to be content in that.