(no subject)
i want to hug her tight and breathe her in one more time. i want to say all the things to her that have been rolling around in my head since we split up. i want to apologize to her for the all the broken promises, all the sleepless nights that were my doing, all the tears she shed because of me, and all the times i failed her.
i promised her i would never leave her, that i would love her until the end of time, and that she could always count on me to be there when she needed me. i promised her i would never treat her like her ex husband did. i broke her heart and left her crying on the floor in a heap. i wasnt the best boyfriend i could be, not the best man i know i have to be.
i read her son bedtime stories and told him i loved him too. i promised him i wasnt going anywhere ever and he could always find me in the other room. he would never have to be afraid because his mommy and i would always be there to protect him. i promised him i would always be there for him.
the two of them made my heart full and my soul smile. i failed them both. i failed myself.
i miss them both so much, i just need one more hug.
i guess theres one promise i havent broken, and never will. i will love them both for the rest of my life, but i will never have them back.
i miss you jade, i love you still and always will. benjamin, i love you too buddy, and you can always find me if you need me no matter what im always here for you.
im so sorry for all the hurt i caused, i never meant for this to happen, and certainly not this way.
im sorry, and i will love you both always.
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