Oh Canada, you got off so easy!
Did you know the irish invaded Canada? No I'm not talking about a wave of immigration looking for work as barmen. Im talking about an actual invasion with armies and divisions of highly trained, battle hardened men in their tens of thousands, werent expecting that were you!
Well in the aftermath of the American civil war those irish refugees who managed to survive being conscripted into one of the most dickish wars ever decided 'fuck it! keep going', an estimated 14,000 irish troops from the union side and a similar number from the confederate side joined the Fenian brotherhood and set up an Irish republican army in America, like Al-Qaida in Iraq but with cooler beards.
So backed up by 500 Mohawk indians and about 100 African-American soldiers they went off to capture Canada and randsom it back to the British for Irish Independance. It was a brilliant plan apart from one minor flaw....they were Irish. And being so at the first possible moment they decided to have a row amongst themselves and split over over something completely idiotic like 'should we have toast or cornflakes for breakfast'
So even with backing from President Andrew Johnson, the expertice of several leading generals from the union army such as these guys....
Yes that is actually Ronnie Drew, Val Kilmer and a genuine leprechaun
......They got distracted by something shiny (like the goddamned first working submarine that they also invented but couldnt deploy because of....yep another stupid row amongst themselves!!!!) captured a few towns for a day, shot in the wrong direction, wrote 346 poems about a girl they left behind in a drainage ditch in Roscommon said 'Jaysus look at the time' and went home only to try again tomorrow.....did I mention it was meant to happen on St Patricks day, but you can guess why it was delayed a bit.
By which time the British had enough time to pay off Andrew Johnson who swiftly changed his mind and sent famous scaredy cat Ulysses S Grant to 'take those guns of them goddamned micks and pick me up some moonshine and a jar of racism on the way back'.
"So yeah... that didnt go so well...nevermind we'll try it again in a few years but this time in a more half assed way" said general O'Neill, and he did in 1870, and predictably not a single fuck was given that day.
And so the Fenian/IRB/IRA/MFI/KLF uh-huh uh-huh settled in New york where they decided on ultimate revenge for their presidential betrayal by embarassing America when they accuse other countries of supporting terrorism for centuries to come.