(no subject)

[sensesxspiral]

so... i cant help but think that my appearance drives people away.
im overweight.
im pale.
im average.
my appearance puts off the vibe that im shit.
the only thing that helps me keep my friends is that im funny.
i have a good personality, or so ive been told.
after warped tour
i cant help but feel like
the friend i was getting closest too
is now farther away then ever.
i think its because he hasnt seen me in a while.
and im not exactly perfect.

but its just another head on collison for me
because thats the only thing i was nervous about
and the worst i could think of...
happened.
i lost a really good friend.

i had a dream last night that i was in a car crash.
its either a horrible preminition that ill be dying soon.
or its a symbol of my idea of my life right now.
i was in three crashes.
i can name two right now..
my job.. im sure ill be written up tomorrow for a "no show."
my friends.. see above.
but i dont know the third.
i didnt die in the first two crashes.
but i cant remember the third at all.
so i dont know if thats good or bad..
either way im not real happy now.

i had a dream last night and in that dream i took a knife to you.
i slit your throat from ear to ear
the wound was gasping for the air
your scream so clear