Two roads diverged in a yellow wood...
so i was reading my last entry.
it actually made me laugh, like out loud. lol.
so i went to mexico. that was um the most amazing, surreal month of my entire life....yes it definetly was.
so many new experiences, idk everything, i just feel like a completely different person now. well i am lol. but it really helped, that month in mexico away from everything. it helped me re-think alot of things and make a lot of decisions.
yes there wasnt always hot water, yes the old ladies talked about me as i walked by, yes the old men did whistle at me all the time, and yes i was a month without even seeing a computer. but it was the most amazing month of my life, and i could not have been happier.
manuel is just my god, amazing, incredible, perfect in so many ways, in every way possible lol, really tho ;) haha. i sware that boy is just hmm anyways, he really really helped make my stay a billion times better. for the first time, i was the girl that got flowers given to her in front of the whole god damn town, i was the girl with the boyfriend who was always kissing her and hugging her no matter who was there, WE were the couple that everyone knew were meant for eachother and would most likely get married. and i loved it. hes my boyfriend, mi amante(hehe), and my best friend. and we def are getting married =]
and just as i said before, this trip to mexico would be my test to see if i'd be able to live there, and even tho i thought chances were 99% that i would not want to, well i do, and i am. i cant even begin to imagine spending the rest of my life here. well because my life isnt here, its in mexico.
saying goodbye had never been so hard, but it was the most incredible day of my vacation, well before the goodbye part. i'll def never forget that day.
so i was def crying all the 4 hours on the bus, and then the 2 hours in the airport. i felt so stupid, everyone was staring at me, but i couldnt help it. and as i was on those things that you stand on and move?? lol so you dont have to walk? anyways, as i was on there, i sware it was like a movie, i had my bags and i was looking at the gigantic ads on the wall, and thats when it really hit me. mexico is my home. something in me was just screaming, "dont leave, what are you doing, this is where you belong" and its true. but it really was like one of those movie scenes lol the only thing left was for me to turn around and run out of the airport and kiss the love of my life. but well that would've been exagerrating. lol.
but i am moving there. i;ve never been so sure of anything in my life, well something else but that already happened lol and i'll never regret my decision. but yea i'm moving to morelia, the university city. im going to study latin-american literature and secondary education. and become a teacher. and if things dont work out, it doesnt matter. because like i told my mother, im willing to take this risk, its my turn to decide what happens in my life. for the first time my happiness doesnt depend on the decisions of my idiot father. it doenst depend on anyone but me, and if i mess up, its going to be my fault. and im going to take that chance.
...take the road not taken.
it actually made me laugh, like out loud. lol.
so i went to mexico. that was um the most amazing, surreal month of my entire life....yes it definetly was.
so many new experiences, idk everything, i just feel like a completely different person now. well i am lol. but it really helped, that month in mexico away from everything. it helped me re-think alot of things and make a lot of decisions.
yes there wasnt always hot water, yes the old ladies talked about me as i walked by, yes the old men did whistle at me all the time, and yes i was a month without even seeing a computer. but it was the most amazing month of my life, and i could not have been happier.
manuel is just my god, amazing, incredible, perfect in so many ways, in every way possible lol, really tho ;) haha. i sware that boy is just hmm anyways, he really really helped make my stay a billion times better. for the first time, i was the girl that got flowers given to her in front of the whole god damn town, i was the girl with the boyfriend who was always kissing her and hugging her no matter who was there, WE were the couple that everyone knew were meant for eachother and would most likely get married. and i loved it. hes my boyfriend, mi amante(hehe), and my best friend. and we def are getting married =]
and just as i said before, this trip to mexico would be my test to see if i'd be able to live there, and even tho i thought chances were 99% that i would not want to, well i do, and i am. i cant even begin to imagine spending the rest of my life here. well because my life isnt here, its in mexico.
saying goodbye had never been so hard, but it was the most incredible day of my vacation, well before the goodbye part. i'll def never forget that day.
so i was def crying all the 4 hours on the bus, and then the 2 hours in the airport. i felt so stupid, everyone was staring at me, but i couldnt help it. and as i was on those things that you stand on and move?? lol so you dont have to walk? anyways, as i was on there, i sware it was like a movie, i had my bags and i was looking at the gigantic ads on the wall, and thats when it really hit me. mexico is my home. something in me was just screaming, "dont leave, what are you doing, this is where you belong" and its true. but it really was like one of those movie scenes lol the only thing left was for me to turn around and run out of the airport and kiss the love of my life. but well that would've been exagerrating. lol.
but i am moving there. i;ve never been so sure of anything in my life, well something else but that already happened lol and i'll never regret my decision. but yea i'm moving to morelia, the university city. im going to study latin-american literature and secondary education. and become a teacher. and if things dont work out, it doesnt matter. because like i told my mother, im willing to take this risk, its my turn to decide what happens in my life. for the first time my happiness doesnt depend on the decisions of my idiot father. it doenst depend on anyone but me, and if i mess up, its going to be my fault. and im going to take that chance.
...take the road not taken.