(no subject)
sometimes i wish i can just take a break from my own life. to escape for a little while, even if just for a day, and not have to worry about all the trivial things in life that stress me out. sometimes it feels like all my problems become so overwhelming that all i can do is stay still and become numb. but then reality sets in, and then i wonder if my problems are even problems at all, and not just over-exagarated events created in my own mind. sometimes i think too much to the point where i lose sleep and my body aches. sometimes i feel like a 40 year old stuck in a 19yr olds body, just awaiting it's turn to distruct and decay. sometimes i wonder what it would feel like just to be spoiled. but knowing me i know that'll never happen because i worry too much about other people, and there's nothing worse than the idea of me being a burden to sometime else in any way shape or form. which only explains why i can't talk about my problems to anyone without feeling guilty. but these are all just words. they lack clarity and have no resonance. i'm just a little boy pretending to be a grown up by carrying some make believe world on my shoulders.