I lost the battle and the war looks like it's headed in the same direction...
I can't do anything.
I think I've finally figured out what I'm gonna do and I get all green lights and then all of a sudden BAM everything crumbles like a goddamn virgin on prom night!
I'm not blaming anybody, I understand why D. Crutch wants to quit drums and I can't argue with that. Lord knows I've thought of the idea from time to time(quitting music...not the drums...I already did that!). I just wish I had got the chance to play out with you again man so we both could remember what it felt like to play to screaming crowds again. eh, maybe someday. I'm sure I'll come knocking again if I ever hear you've picked it back up. Kat told me last night that she tried to get you to talk to me and I told her she shouldn't have done that cuz I know you well enough to know that your Lj said it all. Please don't be mad at her for trying, she really thinks of you as a great friend and I don't want this shit to fuck things up.
Then, I'm at work yesterday and I figure the hell with it. I'll call Gary and see if he wants to start up something anyway. Uh, that didn't work. I call him and he tells me a best friend of his who he used to be in a band with called him up and was looking to start something new and he tells me that he has to go with his loyalty to his friends first and that every thing is just clicking for him right now. My eyes well up and I tell him that I completely understand that cuz I would have done the same thing and I ask him to tell sprague-o when he's playing out so I can come check it out. I sit in my chair, lean forward and place my thumb and middle finger on the bridge of my nose between my eyes for a second and just kind of breathe hoping to forget how much of a failure I've become.
I hung out with Rissa last night to try and get my mind of off things and we went bowling which was fun and I wouldn't mind doing that again. Then we watched empire records which I've never seen from begining to end and it's kind of a breakfast club meets kevin smith movie. I liked it. Then we picked up Kat from work and I told her the smart choice would be to turn away from me and run as fast as she can in the other direction until I was a distant memory cuz i'm only bringing her down. She refused of course. That's why I love her, she won't give up on me.
I want to stay positive, I'm still going to write, I think I'm going to try and just play it solo for a while... No, I don't want to play out without a band but I'm gonna focus on just perfecting my playing and writing and I'm gonna just save up my cash and do all I can to not be a fucking failure. I'm so tired of living like a leech. Everyone else I know is moving out and moving on and here I sit doing nothing. I want to move forward but it's like everytime I do I hit a snag and fall into a depression... I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do...
I think I've finally figured out what I'm gonna do and I get all green lights and then all of a sudden BAM everything crumbles like a goddamn virgin on prom night!
I'm not blaming anybody, I understand why D. Crutch wants to quit drums and I can't argue with that. Lord knows I've thought of the idea from time to time(quitting music...not the drums...I already did that!). I just wish I had got the chance to play out with you again man so we both could remember what it felt like to play to screaming crowds again. eh, maybe someday. I'm sure I'll come knocking again if I ever hear you've picked it back up. Kat told me last night that she tried to get you to talk to me and I told her she shouldn't have done that cuz I know you well enough to know that your Lj said it all. Please don't be mad at her for trying, she really thinks of you as a great friend and I don't want this shit to fuck things up.
Then, I'm at work yesterday and I figure the hell with it. I'll call Gary and see if he wants to start up something anyway. Uh, that didn't work. I call him and he tells me a best friend of his who he used to be in a band with called him up and was looking to start something new and he tells me that he has to go with his loyalty to his friends first and that every thing is just clicking for him right now. My eyes well up and I tell him that I completely understand that cuz I would have done the same thing and I ask him to tell sprague-o when he's playing out so I can come check it out. I sit in my chair, lean forward and place my thumb and middle finger on the bridge of my nose between my eyes for a second and just kind of breathe hoping to forget how much of a failure I've become.
I hung out with Rissa last night to try and get my mind of off things and we went bowling which was fun and I wouldn't mind doing that again. Then we watched empire records which I've never seen from begining to end and it's kind of a breakfast club meets kevin smith movie. I liked it. Then we picked up Kat from work and I told her the smart choice would be to turn away from me and run as fast as she can in the other direction until I was a distant memory cuz i'm only bringing her down. She refused of course. That's why I love her, she won't give up on me.
I want to stay positive, I'm still going to write, I think I'm going to try and just play it solo for a while... No, I don't want to play out without a band but I'm gonna focus on just perfecting my playing and writing and I'm gonna just save up my cash and do all I can to not be a fucking failure. I'm so tired of living like a leech. Everyone else I know is moving out and moving on and here I sit doing nothing. I want to move forward but it's like everytime I do I hit a snag and fall into a depression... I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do...