I am still awake

[sensei_mushi]

Ok, so I got up after a long week yesterday. When I mean a long week you need to put yourself into my shoes this past week was filled with karate, work, and going to the gym to workout in hopes that I will become faster. This leaves me with about 4-5 hours of sleep in my days and then I get up only to do it again. I asked myself why am I still doing this? And what in the hell is giving me this drive to go beyond what people expect of me? That's just it people expected so little of me in the first 18 years of my life that I wasn't worth a damn to myself, to others, and I was never really asked to help... I hated that. I changed it, everyone that matters asks favors of me, expects more, and people need my help. If there is one thing that I am good at it is to prove people wrong now, prove to people that I consider myself more than just a person in the crowd... I am someone who has gone beyond the quota. So now that I have filled everyone in and now that I am sober I am going to get myself back to the karate school, back to the gym, and get my ass into gear. Oh by the way I am going to do this today without sleep.

"Pain Redefined"

Fading, falling, lost in forever
Will I find a way to keep it together?
Am I strong enough to last through the weather in the hurricane of my life?
Can it be a conscious decision?
That I look for ways to alter my vision?
Am I speeding towards another collision in the alleyways of my life?

Memories don't lie
You know better than
Memories don't lie
You know better than
Memories don't lie
You know better than
Those who have fallen in
Memories don't lie
You know better than
Memories don't lie
You know better than
Memories don't lie
You know better than
Those who have fallen in

Please believe me
That my eyes deceive me?
Don't stand me up
Just leave me
I have fallen again
This is the end
Pain redefined

Shaking, burning up with the fever
In the realm of pain, I am the deceiver
Now I lie to myself, so I can believe her
As she dissembles my life
I cannot dispel the illusion
All my hopes and dreams are drowned by confusion
Can I find a way to make a solution that will reconfigure my life?

Memories don't lie
You know better than
Memories don't lie
You know better than
Memories don't lie
You know better than
Those who have fallen in
Memories don't lie
You know better than
Memories don't lie
You know better than
Memories don't lie
You know better than
Those who have fallen in

Please believe me
That my ears deceive me
Don't stand me up
Just leave me
I have fallen again
This is the end
Pain redefined

And I know that stillness shatters
We have all been frightened by the
The sound of footsteps on the pavement of our lives
I stand and fight
I'm not afraid to die
Elochai, bury me tonight

Please believe me
That the world decieves me
Don't stand me up
Just leave
I have fallen again
This is the end
Pain redefined