Last Friday Night - Part One
Title: “Last Friday Night”
Genre: Smut/Humor/Romance/Fluff/Adventure
Authors: sensatsu and theslashbunny
Pairing(s): in order - JongTae, MinKey, BFF!2Min, OnTae
Rating(s): in order - PG-13, PG, NC-17, and PG
Warnings: Alcohol (and lots of it), drug use, mild to strong language, sexual content
Summary: SHINee has a few rough nights - epic wins and epic fails with some funny thrown in for good measure.
A/N: Pictures and inspiration taken from textsfromshinee.tumblr.com, which in turn was inspired by Texts From Last Night. Stories themselves belong to sensatsu and theslashbunny (SB: There’s obviously something wrong with us... I still can’t believe I wrote some of this shit literary brilliance). (SS: Well, we were also half-asleep when we wrote these at like...2 or 3 am?)
A/N 2: Please note that we do not necessarily condone any of the activities (SS: please, I totally sorta do) depicted within these fics. Nor do we admit to any involvement in such activities within our lifetimes. The resemblance of any situations or actions by characters to any person or situation (SS: I’m totally drawing on experience hehe) in reality is probably purely coincidental.
[JongTae; PG-13]
by: sensatsu
It had been a pretty wild night at the SHINee dorm - as Jonghyun had said, “you can only turn twenty two once”. Of course, that had just been the justification for their night of revelry: in reality, they just needed a night to be the irresponsible young adults they would have been if they weren’t constantly in the spotlight. So, despite Key’s attempts at keeping the five-person party as straight edge as he could, Onew and Jonghyun had slipped out for awhile and returned with plenty of liquor and something mysterious and greenish brown in a plastic bag. Key had been furious, but after a few drinks he calmed down enough and was more interested in trying to take Minho’s clothes off than yelling at the other members for their “poor life choices”.
The night had passed with a lot of drinking, plenty of laughter, and some selcas that would hopefully never make it to the Internet. No one really noticed when Jonghyun started helping Taemin smoke his mystery purchase, but by two in the morning no one was sober enough to care. Of course, that meant that no one cared when the vocalist led their maknae out of the room and onto the balcony; Key was passed out with his head in a slightly less-drunk Minho’s lap, and Onew was singing trot songs loudly while staring at the blank television screen.
Minho woke first, groaning when he felt the pounding begin to build behind his eyes and lifting Key’s head off his lap so he could stumble to the kitchen for some water and aspirin. After taking care of all his immediate needs, he started to survey the damage; Onew was passed out on the floor with an empty bottle of soju grasped firmly in one hand and a bowl of what looked like a mix of ramen noodles and ice cream beside his head. There were cheese balls all over the floor, some arranged into patterns - presumably by their leader - that spelled out people’s names along with some nonsense words. Key was normal for the most part, though his pants had somehow been removed and then put on backwards.
The real concern, he realized after a few moments of putting it together in his head, was that he had no idea where their other two members were. If they had run off and gotten into trouble in public somewhere, they were all screwed. He started looking around the apartment, checking the most obvious places like the bedroom and bathroom before moving on to the stranger options like the broom closet, washing machine, and fridge. After finding no luck in any of the places he searched, he was almost ready to put on some shoes and start searching the neighborhood when he heard a loud thump that sounded like it was coming from the sliding glass door of their balcony.
Minho stepped over Onew and tried his best to avoid the majority of the cheese balls as he crossed the apartment, finally making it to the door and sliding it open to reveal one of the strangest sights he’d ever seen.
Jonghyun looked like he’d been in a fight, with bruises along his jaw and neck; the shirt he’d been wearing was ripped open at the top, his necktie askew and flung backwards over his shoulder. Taemin was in worse shape - torso almost completely bare, his shirt ripped entirely down the front, and bruises eerily similar to those on Jonghyun littering his neck, chest and abdomen. Minho nudged him with his foot, raising an eyebrow as he wondered what sort of story they’d have for him upon waking.
The maknae jerked awake with a groan, staring down at himself and turning red as a tomato before elbowing Jonghyun to wake up as well. He stood and wrapped the remnants of his shirt around his body, trying to cover himself as best as he could as the vocalist rose up behind him, holding his head in one hand.
“What the hell happened to you two?” Minho asked, staring at them incredulously as he waited for some form of explanation for their current state.
“You know what...?” Taemin replied, shaking his head and wincing when he realized that was a bad idea. He opened his eyes halfway and stared at Minho with a look that made quite clear his desire to just drop it. His next words sealed the deal, and made Minho pretty sure that it was exactly what it looked like.
“Let’s play a little game of ‘Last Night Never Happened’.”
[MinKey; PG]
by: sensatsu
A/N: This was from my hometown's area code. I was so proud, I just had to do it.
Minho carefully laid Kibum on his bunk, crawling in beside him and kissing along his neck and jaw softly. It had been another of their nights out, and the mixture of alcohol and Kibum in his system was leaving him feeling more warm and fuzzy than usual. He nuzzled into his lover’s neck and hummed softly, inhaling his scent and smiling at the sense of familiarity it brought him.
“What do you want, Kibummie?” he murmured in that tone that had the tendency to take Kibum from apathetic to aroused in less than a minute. The slightly older man squirmed a bit in his arms, adjusting their position so he was laying half on top of Minho with his chin balanced upon his chest; Kibum’s eyes, despite being half-closed, still had that look in them that made Minho ready to pounce.
“I kinda want a ham sandwich.”
He paused to think about what he’d just heard. Kibum usually detested sandwiches, especially those with processed meat on them, and he could have sworn that he was about to ask for something a bit more sexually inclined.
“Kibum-ah, that’s a little weird don’t you think?” Minho said softly, his tone gentle despite his intense confusion at the turn their night had taken.
“I know. I just don’t want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich,” Kibum said as if it was the most rational statement he’d made to date.
Minho had to pause again, trying to think of what he could say to get this night back on track. Perhaps he could suggest that they have some “activity” before eating anything; then again, Kibum sounded like he was pretty set on the most direct course toward his ham sandwich.
“I honestly don’t know what to make of that,” he finally murmured in reply, stroking his fingers through Kibum’s hair and gently massaging his scalp. Maybe if he could get him distracted by touch -
“...A ham sandwich would be nice.”
Minho sighed and rolled over, crawling out of bed and heading toward the kitchen. If Kibum ever doubted that he loved him, he could at least bring up the fact that he gave up the idea of sex to make him a damn sandwich.
[BFF!2Min; PG NC-17]
by: theslashbunny
A/N: This started as a sweet, fluffy, PG, not-five-pages-long drabble. Then I got a little carried away with the drunken!Minho ramble. There was just too much he needed to say.
Minho could hold his alcohol. In fact, the other members of SHINee had only ever seen the man drunk one time. He could truly hold his own with Onew, but there was one thing that could always make him lose his control:
Cough syrup.
So when Minho was sick with a particularly vicious cold, Taemin understood completely that Key didn’t want to leave him to his own devices for an evening. And so when Key asked Taemin to babysit while he went out with an out-of-town friend for dinner, Taemin kindly agreed.
Hell, maybe he’d even get a little blackmail. Or at least a laugh or seven.
It started out okay. Taemin had warmed the dinner Key had left them and they’d eaten it peacefully - unfortunately with no mishaps on Minho’s part. Still, there was time. He and Minho were now sitting on the couch, watching Key’s One Piece DVDs and Minho was dozing on the cushions after another dose of cough syrup.
About halfway through the episode, it began.
“I don’t really like this show...”
Drunken rambling wasn’t unexpected; in fact, it was encouraged. If it got good enough, this shit was going on YouTube.
“Key likes this show...” Minho rolled his head against the back of the couch to look at Taemin, his eyes glazed over and his lids heavy. He grinned wide. “And I like Key.”
He seemed to be waiting for a response. Okay. What the hell.
“Um, I gathered that.”
“I really like Key. He’s amazing.”
Okay, this was kind of awkward. Why was this being treated like an actual conversation?
“Good to know you guys are still going strong, I guess.”
Minho waved a hand in the air emphatically, allowing it to fall down and slap Taemin’s knee - honestly, a little harder than was ever necessary.
“Oh, we are definitely going strong. Like, last weekend, when you guys were all out - Seriously, one of the best nights of my life.”
Oh dear God.
“No, really.” Taemin must’ve looked skeptical instead of completely horrified at the turn this conversation had taken. “Key is amazing. He, like- He lets me do all this stuff that I didn’t even know I wanted to do, but he totally seems to know what I’m thinking, you know?”
No, he didn’t know, though unfortunately it seemed like he was going to find out. Minho just completely ignored any protests. And he was carrying on with a gleeful grin.
“And like, he just tastes so good. Once, he let me just lick him. All over.” Minho allowed for a dramatic pause, losing his grin and staring at Taemin intently. “Even there.”
“Fuck my life.”
“YES. I mean, he’d done it to me before and - Have you tried that? You should seriously ask hyung to try that. It’s amazing.”
“STOP. Just. Stop. Talking. Please.” Taemin was certain that he was beet red by now and he just wanted this “conversation” to end. Minho wasn’t usually one to overshare. That was more Key’s forté - and Jonghyun was the most likely victim. And last time Minho had taken cough syrup, it had resulted in the single most fascinating philosophical debate Taemin had ever witnessed - about My Little Pony of all things.
This was new. This was unpleasant. And Taemin was going to duct tape his hyung’s mouth shut if necessary to make it stop.
Thankfully, Minho seemed to take his outburst at face-value and turned silently back to the TV.
For approximately 45 seconds.
“Why are you so uncomfortable with this?”
It took him a moment for the fact that Minho was bringing this up again to even register, but when it did Taemin went a whole new shade of crimson.
“Why the hell would I not be uncomfortable with this?!”
“Seriously, it’s not any different than what hyung would-”
“For the love of all that you hold dear, just leave Jinki out of this, please.” He really didn’t need his sex life analyzed by a drunken Minho right now - or ever, for that matter.
“We’re both guys. Who are you supposed to talk to about this if not your hyung, huh?”
“No one.”
Minho was not accepting that answer apparently as he slapped his hand back down on Taemin’s knee, almost drawing out a yelp.
“You can talk to me about this stuff. Seriously. I’m there for you, Taeminnie.”
Yes, Taemin knew that Minho was always there for him. But he really didn’t want him to be now. Especially in this context.
“Seriously, though. Why are you embarrassed? This is a normal thing. Sex is-”
“Amazing?”
“Yes. And beautiful and special and-- You know what? Key is beautiful and special and amazing. I love him. Did you know that?”
Thank GOD. Maybe - just maybe - this would be moving in a direction that wouldn’t make Taemin want to smother himself.
“No, I did not know that.” He couldn’t fight the smile spreading across his face and Minho’s held an even brighter one than before.
“I do. I really do.” He let out a wistful sigh that was actually kind of cute. “He’s just perfect. From his hair all the way down to his toes.”
That was just too adorable. Maybe he should be taping this to give to Key.
“Especially where his back meets his legs... Actually that whole area.”
On second thought, Taemin never actually wanted Key to find out that he was hearing about any of this. It would probably just make him a new potential victim for regular segments of “Key’s Overshare,” and hearing about this from Minho was mortifying enough.
“Oh, and I love how he gives blowjobs. Best I’ve ever had.”
Taemin felt a lump in his throat - surely, surely this couldn’t get any worse.
“Not that I’ve had many. But I really can’t imagine any being better. Has hyung given you head before?”
And apparently it could get worse. And Minho was apparently taking his blush as a negative.
“Oh man. You should ask. I mean, hyung can never say no to you anyway. Has he let you top? I mean, I’m just assuming that hyung would top. I mean, really.”
If he mentioned the “rumors” of how well-endowed Jinki was, Taemin might just snap. Key might come home to a cadaver for a boyfriend.
“Key tried topping once. It was actually really hot. He was all aggressive and stuff, but I don’t think that he liked it as much, so now I just usually-”
There had to be something Taemin could do to stop this. As Minho continued on in the most epically massive overshare in SHINee history, Taemin wracked his brain for what he could possibly do to get him to shut up. One Piece would just bring them back to this topic. So would any other conversation, most likely. Minho had a very one-track mind most of the time.
While pondering his dilemma, Taemin took the time to send one simple text to the individual responsible for putting him in this level of hellish torment:
I hate you so much right now.
And then it hit him; Key used to distract Yoogeun when necessary with food.
If it worked on a four-year-old, it would definitely work on a drunken Minho.
The only thing within reach was his precious box of Honey Teddy Grahams - the box that he’d rescued repeatedly from Jonghyun, the family-sized box he’d had shipped from America just for him.
The box of the best snack food ever. It would be sacrificed for a noble and worthy cause - his continued sanity.
Sure enough, Minho quieted as soon as the coveted box of treats came in view and leaned even closer as Taemin lovingly - and regretfully - opened it.
~+~
Key had just started dessert when he heard his phone beep with a new message. Not wanting to be impolite, he just looked back at his friend and promptly forgot about it until he was climbing into a cab. When he finally checked his phone, he had an angry message from Taemin waiting. Before he could text a reply, his phone beeped again with yet another message from Taemin.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahams and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Key burst out laughing, shocking both his friend and the driver. Something horrible must’ve happened to make Taemin give up the Teddy Grahams he’d been hoarding. So Key was left with two questions as he laughed his way home: what exactly had happened between those two texts, and would he even want to know?
[Onew-centric OnTae; PG]
by: theslashbunny
This was the most relaxed Jinki had been in such a long time. He wasn’t sure how long they’d been out here on the balcony, but sprawled on the chaise with Taemin snuggled up next to his side and finishing off a joint... Well, this might just be heaven.
They’d come out here to escape from Key’s disapproval and had eventually wound down from giggles to random theories about life to where they were now - comfortable silence. Taemin was warm against his side and the sky above was turning beautiful shades of pink and gold.
Gold... It was pretty...
His stomach grumbled.
“... I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese...”
Taemin rolled his head around against Jinki’s shoulder to look over at him.
“Cheese? Hmm...”
Jinki looked over at his companion as Taemin’s gaze returned to the sky, squinting slightly as he pondered this new life quandary. Jinki allowed the silence to stretch on, turning his own eyes back to the deepening pinks and golds and purples.
He’d almost forgotten about his comment when he heard a snicker to his right. A snicker that turned into a giggle. That giggle turned into an armful of Taemin as the younger boy rolled over on top of him, smiling down at him in a mischievous way that was only slightly dampened by his bloodshot, glazed eyes.
The only warning Jinki got was one sentence, “This is what it would be like!”
His brain didn’t have time to fully process what Taemin meant before his shoulder and neck were being mouthed and gnawed on. And honestly, it kind of tickled.
Taemin pulled back when Jinki started to giggle and that giggle turned into a laugh when Taemin attempted an intoxicated version of Jonghyun’s best leer. He then followed that by wiggling his eyebrows and leaning in to whisper, “You’d be a sexy cheese.”
For some reason - later he’d blame the weed - Jinki found that to be unbelievably hot.
Taemin latched back onto his neck, less gnawing and more mouthing, working his way up to Jinki’s jaw and drawing out as many moans and groans from the other man as possible. Jinki’s hands moved to Taemin’s hips and he pulled him down to grind up against him as the younger man licked his way into his mouth.
And as satisfying as that was, Jinki just couldn’t get enough leverage or friction in the position he was in. He was used to being on top and he was willing to admit that he was too stoned to figure out how to do this from the bottom. But he was still sober enough to remember the easiest way to flip Taemin.
He hooked one of his legs behind a knee as Taemin was distracted by Jinki’s tongue, wrapped his forearms around the slightly smaller shoulders above him and -
flipped them both off of the chair and onto the hard wood of the balcony.
Taemin cried out as his hips and the back of his head hit the floor and Jinki couldn’t even roll off because his arms were pinned between Taemin and the balcony. And he might have sprained his ankle (or worse) from the way it had been squished under Taemin’s leg.
As they detangled and Jinki pulled back, he noticed that Taemin’s lip had split against their teeth and he was poking mournfully at it with his tongue. Jinki couldn’t help but giggle slightly at that, even with the pain they were both in, and while Taemin sent him a dirty glare, he didn’t push Jinki away when he leaned down to give him a kiss on the forehead. He rolled slightly to free his injured ankle, knowing with one look at it that he wasn’t going to be walking without help. They were facing each other on their sides and from just a glance at Taemin, he knew that he wouldn’t be getting any help from that sector.
Resigned to his fate, Jinki reached over Taemin to grab the blanket off of the chaise and wrapped it around them, getting as cozy as they could injured and lying on hard wood. They’d just have to wait until Key got annoyed enough to come find them - or to send Minho to come find them...
That would actually be more helpful. Key would take the time to yell at them before helping. Minho would just laugh for a bit while helping them.
Yes, Jinki would definitely prefer Minho.
Still, this was going to be very difficult to explain during rehearsal tomorrow.
And Jinki definitely thought that a cheese would never have to worry about things like that. Yes, life as a slice of cheese sounded pretty good.
Genre: Smut/Humor/Romance/Fluff/Adventure
Authors: sensatsu and theslashbunny
Pairing(s): in order - JongTae, MinKey, BFF!2Min, OnTae
Rating(s): in order - PG-13, PG, NC-17, and PG
Warnings: Alcohol (and lots of it), drug use, mild to strong language, sexual content
Summary: SHINee has a few rough nights - epic wins and epic fails with some funny thrown in for good measure.
A/N: Pictures and inspiration taken from textsfromshinee.tumblr.com, which in turn was inspired by Texts From Last Night. Stories themselves belong to sensatsu and theslashbunny (SB: There’s obviously something wrong with us... I still can’t believe I wrote some of this shit literary brilliance). (SS: Well, we were also half-asleep when we wrote these at like...2 or 3 am?)
A/N 2: Please note that we do not necessarily condone any of the activities (SS: please, I totally sorta do) depicted within these fics. Nor do we admit to any involvement in such activities within our lifetimes. The resemblance of any situations or actions by characters to any person or situation (SS: I’m totally drawing on experience hehe) in reality is probably purely coincidental.
[JongTae; PG-13]
by: sensatsu
It had been a pretty wild night at the SHINee dorm - as Jonghyun had said, “you can only turn twenty two once”. Of course, that had just been the justification for their night of revelry: in reality, they just needed a night to be the irresponsible young adults they would have been if they weren’t constantly in the spotlight. So, despite Key’s attempts at keeping the five-person party as straight edge as he could, Onew and Jonghyun had slipped out for awhile and returned with plenty of liquor and something mysterious and greenish brown in a plastic bag. Key had been furious, but after a few drinks he calmed down enough and was more interested in trying to take Minho’s clothes off than yelling at the other members for their “poor life choices”.
The night had passed with a lot of drinking, plenty of laughter, and some selcas that would hopefully never make it to the Internet. No one really noticed when Jonghyun started helping Taemin smoke his mystery purchase, but by two in the morning no one was sober enough to care. Of course, that meant that no one cared when the vocalist led their maknae out of the room and onto the balcony; Key was passed out with his head in a slightly less-drunk Minho’s lap, and Onew was singing trot songs loudly while staring at the blank television screen.
Minho woke first, groaning when he felt the pounding begin to build behind his eyes and lifting Key’s head off his lap so he could stumble to the kitchen for some water and aspirin. After taking care of all his immediate needs, he started to survey the damage; Onew was passed out on the floor with an empty bottle of soju grasped firmly in one hand and a bowl of what looked like a mix of ramen noodles and ice cream beside his head. There were cheese balls all over the floor, some arranged into patterns - presumably by their leader - that spelled out people’s names along with some nonsense words. Key was normal for the most part, though his pants had somehow been removed and then put on backwards.
The real concern, he realized after a few moments of putting it together in his head, was that he had no idea where their other two members were. If they had run off and gotten into trouble in public somewhere, they were all screwed. He started looking around the apartment, checking the most obvious places like the bedroom and bathroom before moving on to the stranger options like the broom closet, washing machine, and fridge. After finding no luck in any of the places he searched, he was almost ready to put on some shoes and start searching the neighborhood when he heard a loud thump that sounded like it was coming from the sliding glass door of their balcony.
Minho stepped over Onew and tried his best to avoid the majority of the cheese balls as he crossed the apartment, finally making it to the door and sliding it open to reveal one of the strangest sights he’d ever seen.
Jonghyun looked like he’d been in a fight, with bruises along his jaw and neck; the shirt he’d been wearing was ripped open at the top, his necktie askew and flung backwards over his shoulder. Taemin was in worse shape - torso almost completely bare, his shirt ripped entirely down the front, and bruises eerily similar to those on Jonghyun littering his neck, chest and abdomen. Minho nudged him with his foot, raising an eyebrow as he wondered what sort of story they’d have for him upon waking.
The maknae jerked awake with a groan, staring down at himself and turning red as a tomato before elbowing Jonghyun to wake up as well. He stood and wrapped the remnants of his shirt around his body, trying to cover himself as best as he could as the vocalist rose up behind him, holding his head in one hand.
“What the hell happened to you two?” Minho asked, staring at them incredulously as he waited for some form of explanation for their current state.
“You know what...?” Taemin replied, shaking his head and wincing when he realized that was a bad idea. He opened his eyes halfway and stared at Minho with a look that made quite clear his desire to just drop it. His next words sealed the deal, and made Minho pretty sure that it was exactly what it looked like.
“Let’s play a little game of ‘Last Night Never Happened’.”
[MinKey; PG]
by: sensatsu
A/N: This was from my hometown's area code. I was so proud, I just had to do it.
Minho carefully laid Kibum on his bunk, crawling in beside him and kissing along his neck and jaw softly. It had been another of their nights out, and the mixture of alcohol and Kibum in his system was leaving him feeling more warm and fuzzy than usual. He nuzzled into his lover’s neck and hummed softly, inhaling his scent and smiling at the sense of familiarity it brought him.
“What do you want, Kibummie?” he murmured in that tone that had the tendency to take Kibum from apathetic to aroused in less than a minute. The slightly older man squirmed a bit in his arms, adjusting their position so he was laying half on top of Minho with his chin balanced upon his chest; Kibum’s eyes, despite being half-closed, still had that look in them that made Minho ready to pounce.
“I kinda want a ham sandwich.”
He paused to think about what he’d just heard. Kibum usually detested sandwiches, especially those with processed meat on them, and he could have sworn that he was about to ask for something a bit more sexually inclined.
“Kibum-ah, that’s a little weird don’t you think?” Minho said softly, his tone gentle despite his intense confusion at the turn their night had taken.
“I know. I just don’t want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich,” Kibum said as if it was the most rational statement he’d made to date.
Minho had to pause again, trying to think of what he could say to get this night back on track. Perhaps he could suggest that they have some “activity” before eating anything; then again, Kibum sounded like he was pretty set on the most direct course toward his ham sandwich.
“I honestly don’t know what to make of that,” he finally murmured in reply, stroking his fingers through Kibum’s hair and gently massaging his scalp. Maybe if he could get him distracted by touch -
“...A ham sandwich would be nice.”
Minho sighed and rolled over, crawling out of bed and heading toward the kitchen. If Kibum ever doubted that he loved him, he could at least bring up the fact that he gave up the idea of sex to make him a damn sandwich.
[BFF!2Min; PG NC-17]
by: theslashbunny
A/N: This started as a sweet, fluffy, PG, not-five-pages-long drabble. Then I got a little carried away with the drunken!Minho ramble. There was just too much he needed to say.
Minho could hold his alcohol. In fact, the other members of SHINee had only ever seen the man drunk one time. He could truly hold his own with Onew, but there was one thing that could always make him lose his control:
Cough syrup.
So when Minho was sick with a particularly vicious cold, Taemin understood completely that Key didn’t want to leave him to his own devices for an evening. And so when Key asked Taemin to babysit while he went out with an out-of-town friend for dinner, Taemin kindly agreed.
Hell, maybe he’d even get a little blackmail. Or at least a laugh or seven.
It started out okay. Taemin had warmed the dinner Key had left them and they’d eaten it peacefully - unfortunately with no mishaps on Minho’s part. Still, there was time. He and Minho were now sitting on the couch, watching Key’s One Piece DVDs and Minho was dozing on the cushions after another dose of cough syrup.
About halfway through the episode, it began.
“I don’t really like this show...”
Drunken rambling wasn’t unexpected; in fact, it was encouraged. If it got good enough, this shit was going on YouTube.
“Key likes this show...” Minho rolled his head against the back of the couch to look at Taemin, his eyes glazed over and his lids heavy. He grinned wide. “And I like Key.”
He seemed to be waiting for a response. Okay. What the hell.
“Um, I gathered that.”
“I really like Key. He’s amazing.”
Okay, this was kind of awkward. Why was this being treated like an actual conversation?
“Good to know you guys are still going strong, I guess.”
Minho waved a hand in the air emphatically, allowing it to fall down and slap Taemin’s knee - honestly, a little harder than was ever necessary.
“Oh, we are definitely going strong. Like, last weekend, when you guys were all out - Seriously, one of the best nights of my life.”
Oh dear God.
“No, really.” Taemin must’ve looked skeptical instead of completely horrified at the turn this conversation had taken. “Key is amazing. He, like- He lets me do all this stuff that I didn’t even know I wanted to do, but he totally seems to know what I’m thinking, you know?”
No, he didn’t know, though unfortunately it seemed like he was going to find out. Minho just completely ignored any protests. And he was carrying on with a gleeful grin.
“And like, he just tastes so good. Once, he let me just lick him. All over.” Minho allowed for a dramatic pause, losing his grin and staring at Taemin intently. “Even there.”
“Fuck my life.”
“YES. I mean, he’d done it to me before and - Have you tried that? You should seriously ask hyung to try that. It’s amazing.”
“STOP. Just. Stop. Talking. Please.” Taemin was certain that he was beet red by now and he just wanted this “conversation” to end. Minho wasn’t usually one to overshare. That was more Key’s forté - and Jonghyun was the most likely victim. And last time Minho had taken cough syrup, it had resulted in the single most fascinating philosophical debate Taemin had ever witnessed - about My Little Pony of all things.
This was new. This was unpleasant. And Taemin was going to duct tape his hyung’s mouth shut if necessary to make it stop.
Thankfully, Minho seemed to take his outburst at face-value and turned silently back to the TV.
For approximately 45 seconds.
“Why are you so uncomfortable with this?”
It took him a moment for the fact that Minho was bringing this up again to even register, but when it did Taemin went a whole new shade of crimson.
“Why the hell would I not be uncomfortable with this?!”
“Seriously, it’s not any different than what hyung would-”
“For the love of all that you hold dear, just leave Jinki out of this, please.” He really didn’t need his sex life analyzed by a drunken Minho right now - or ever, for that matter.
“We’re both guys. Who are you supposed to talk to about this if not your hyung, huh?”
“No one.”
Minho was not accepting that answer apparently as he slapped his hand back down on Taemin’s knee, almost drawing out a yelp.
“You can talk to me about this stuff. Seriously. I’m there for you, Taeminnie.”
Yes, Taemin knew that Minho was always there for him. But he really didn’t want him to be now. Especially in this context.
“Seriously, though. Why are you embarrassed? This is a normal thing. Sex is-”
“Amazing?”
“Yes. And beautiful and special and-- You know what? Key is beautiful and special and amazing. I love him. Did you know that?”
Thank GOD. Maybe - just maybe - this would be moving in a direction that wouldn’t make Taemin want to smother himself.
“No, I did not know that.” He couldn’t fight the smile spreading across his face and Minho’s held an even brighter one than before.
“I do. I really do.” He let out a wistful sigh that was actually kind of cute. “He’s just perfect. From his hair all the way down to his toes.”
That was just too adorable. Maybe he should be taping this to give to Key.
“Especially where his back meets his legs... Actually that whole area.”
On second thought, Taemin never actually wanted Key to find out that he was hearing about any of this. It would probably just make him a new potential victim for regular segments of “Key’s Overshare,” and hearing about this from Minho was mortifying enough.
“Oh, and I love how he gives blowjobs. Best I’ve ever had.”
Taemin felt a lump in his throat - surely, surely this couldn’t get any worse.
“Not that I’ve had many. But I really can’t imagine any being better. Has hyung given you head before?”
And apparently it could get worse. And Minho was apparently taking his blush as a negative.
“Oh man. You should ask. I mean, hyung can never say no to you anyway. Has he let you top? I mean, I’m just assuming that hyung would top. I mean, really.”
If he mentioned the “rumors” of how well-endowed Jinki was, Taemin might just snap. Key might come home to a cadaver for a boyfriend.
“Key tried topping once. It was actually really hot. He was all aggressive and stuff, but I don’t think that he liked it as much, so now I just usually-”
There had to be something Taemin could do to stop this. As Minho continued on in the most epically massive overshare in SHINee history, Taemin wracked his brain for what he could possibly do to get him to shut up. One Piece would just bring them back to this topic. So would any other conversation, most likely. Minho had a very one-track mind most of the time.
While pondering his dilemma, Taemin took the time to send one simple text to the individual responsible for putting him in this level of hellish torment:
I hate you so much right now.
And then it hit him; Key used to distract Yoogeun when necessary with food.
If it worked on a four-year-old, it would definitely work on a drunken Minho.
The only thing within reach was his precious box of Honey Teddy Grahams - the box that he’d rescued repeatedly from Jonghyun, the family-sized box he’d had shipped from America just for him.
The box of the best snack food ever. It would be sacrificed for a noble and worthy cause - his continued sanity.
Sure enough, Minho quieted as soon as the coveted box of treats came in view and leaned even closer as Taemin lovingly - and regretfully - opened it.
~+~
Key had just started dessert when he heard his phone beep with a new message. Not wanting to be impolite, he just looked back at his friend and promptly forgot about it until he was climbing into a cab. When he finally checked his phone, he had an angry message from Taemin waiting. Before he could text a reply, his phone beeped again with yet another message from Taemin.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahams and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Key burst out laughing, shocking both his friend and the driver. Something horrible must’ve happened to make Taemin give up the Teddy Grahams he’d been hoarding. So Key was left with two questions as he laughed his way home: what exactly had happened between those two texts, and would he even want to know?
[Onew-centric OnTae; PG]
by: theslashbunny
This was the most relaxed Jinki had been in such a long time. He wasn’t sure how long they’d been out here on the balcony, but sprawled on the chaise with Taemin snuggled up next to his side and finishing off a joint... Well, this might just be heaven.
They’d come out here to escape from Key’s disapproval and had eventually wound down from giggles to random theories about life to where they were now - comfortable silence. Taemin was warm against his side and the sky above was turning beautiful shades of pink and gold.
Gold... It was pretty...
His stomach grumbled.
“... I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese...”
Taemin rolled his head around against Jinki’s shoulder to look over at him.
“Cheese? Hmm...”
Jinki looked over at his companion as Taemin’s gaze returned to the sky, squinting slightly as he pondered this new life quandary. Jinki allowed the silence to stretch on, turning his own eyes back to the deepening pinks and golds and purples.
He’d almost forgotten about his comment when he heard a snicker to his right. A snicker that turned into a giggle. That giggle turned into an armful of Taemin as the younger boy rolled over on top of him, smiling down at him in a mischievous way that was only slightly dampened by his bloodshot, glazed eyes.
The only warning Jinki got was one sentence, “This is what it would be like!”
His brain didn’t have time to fully process what Taemin meant before his shoulder and neck were being mouthed and gnawed on. And honestly, it kind of tickled.
Taemin pulled back when Jinki started to giggle and that giggle turned into a laugh when Taemin attempted an intoxicated version of Jonghyun’s best leer. He then followed that by wiggling his eyebrows and leaning in to whisper, “You’d be a sexy cheese.”
For some reason - later he’d blame the weed - Jinki found that to be unbelievably hot.
Taemin latched back onto his neck, less gnawing and more mouthing, working his way up to Jinki’s jaw and drawing out as many moans and groans from the other man as possible. Jinki’s hands moved to Taemin’s hips and he pulled him down to grind up against him as the younger man licked his way into his mouth.
And as satisfying as that was, Jinki just couldn’t get enough leverage or friction in the position he was in. He was used to being on top and he was willing to admit that he was too stoned to figure out how to do this from the bottom. But he was still sober enough to remember the easiest way to flip Taemin.
He hooked one of his legs behind a knee as Taemin was distracted by Jinki’s tongue, wrapped his forearms around the slightly smaller shoulders above him and -
flipped them both off of the chair and onto the hard wood of the balcony.
Taemin cried out as his hips and the back of his head hit the floor and Jinki couldn’t even roll off because his arms were pinned between Taemin and the balcony. And he might have sprained his ankle (or worse) from the way it had been squished under Taemin’s leg.
As they detangled and Jinki pulled back, he noticed that Taemin’s lip had split against their teeth and he was poking mournfully at it with his tongue. Jinki couldn’t help but giggle slightly at that, even with the pain they were both in, and while Taemin sent him a dirty glare, he didn’t push Jinki away when he leaned down to give him a kiss on the forehead. He rolled slightly to free his injured ankle, knowing with one look at it that he wasn’t going to be walking without help. They were facing each other on their sides and from just a glance at Taemin, he knew that he wouldn’t be getting any help from that sector.
Resigned to his fate, Jinki reached over Taemin to grab the blanket off of the chaise and wrapped it around them, getting as cozy as they could injured and lying on hard wood. They’d just have to wait until Key got annoyed enough to come find them - or to send Minho to come find them...
That would actually be more helpful. Key would take the time to yell at them before helping. Minho would just laugh for a bit while helping them.
Yes, Jinki would definitely prefer Minho.
Still, this was going to be very difficult to explain during rehearsal tomorrow.
And Jinki definitely thought that a cheese would never have to worry about things like that. Yes, life as a slice of cheese sounded pretty good.